Alexander Petrie-Pink

From Pirate Bitch

Alexander Petrie-Pink is an important personality, although noone knows quite what for. He is commonly the man who witnesses the actions of Garald S Kirk, and is frequently in the witness box in court, testifying in such crucial cases as "Did he really shout out "Baby Jesus"?" and "Did he really say a fat teacher was 'buff'?". "He did! He did!" Alexander sobbed in court.

Outside of Garald S Kirk, Alexander is known to look slightly like a moomin, and have slept in a bed with three girls on non-consequtive occasions. He changed his name to Alexander Petrie-Pink-Parsnip for a laugh, and laughed so much he changed it to Alex Petrie-Pink-Parsnip-... - followed by every single word beginning with P in the dictionary, and serveral he made up like Pooneil-Puzzynuzz-Pithgar-Pib.