Piggy's Day/Take a bath
From Create Your Own Story
You draw yourself a bubble bath. You hop in cheerfully, and take with you a rubber duck and a toy sailboat. You begin to immerse yourself in a game of pirates.
Piggy: "Our ship should be safe here. There shouldn't be any frenchmen around."
Then, the rubber duck is integrated into the game.
Piggy: "Oh, no! It's an epic duck! Shoot, dammit, shoot!"
Epic duck: "QUACK!"
Captain: "Tack our ship side-by-side to it! Load the cannons!"
As the ship is perfectly alinged at the epic duck, the crew fires all cannons. The epic duck falls over.
Captain: "HAR-HAR-HAR! In your face! Men, back to scrubbing the floor."
First mate: "Aye-aye, captain."
Later on that day, the first mate brings news.
First mate: "Here's a letter from the king of England."
Captain: "What? Let me see that."
The letter reads: "To Captain Fat-Piggy. You lazy oaf! In your entire year of service you've done nothing but extinct epic ducks from the Atlantic Ocean. Your privateering permission is hereby revoked. Sincerely screw you, King George II."
Captain: "THE THOUSAND BILLION WASTEPILES OF A TRILLION GIANT DUCKS!"
Slightly irritated, the captain disposes of the letter appropriately.
Captain: "Have that letter burnt and then keel-haul it's ashes!"
First mate: "Uhmm...Yeah, that's a thing we can do."
Captain: "So they think I'm not good enough to slaughter frenchmen, eh? I'll show that fartarse."
The captain turns his face for the mast.
Captain: "Observer! The english bastards have abandoned us, so from now on, you need to warn whenever you see any english ships."
Observer: "Uuh, aye-aye, captain."
The following night, as the captain has given the wheel to his first mate and gone to sleep, the rest of the crew have a meeting.
First mate: "Listen, you guys. I think the captain's gone mad. I think we should attempt a mutiny.
Keel-haul-Jack: "Never! The captain will keel-haul all mutineers single-handedly, believe me, I know!"
First mate: "Shut up, you! I'm calling a vote. Will there be a mutiny?"
There will:
