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WRASSLE KIDS/1

From Wuw Archive

{Cut: The front of a brick school, at the asphalt playground. Two boys are standing, one named Tucker, with a squat, vaguely pear shaped head with a short mohawk, a sleeveless, black "JOHN CENA" shirt, red athletic shorts and a phony bling necklace around his neck, and a portly boy named Jimbob, wearing a mesh trucker cap embroidered with the words "AMERICAN PRIDE" accompanied with an embroidered eagle shedding a single tear, a dinghy white "AMERICAN PRIDE" t-shirt, and the ever dreaded jorts(jean shorts). Both boys seem to be arguing with each other.}

TUCKER: MY DOG IS BETTER THAN YOUR DOG! MY DOG'S HALF WOLF!

JIMBOB: Oh yeah? My dog's half lion!

TUCKER: LIONS ARE FELINE, RETARD

JIMBOB: shut up my dad could beat your dog's ass

TUCKER: MY DAD COULD BEAT YOUR DAD!

JIMBOB: No, my dad could beat your dad!

TUCKER: John Cena could beat YOUR DAD!

JIMBOB: TRIPLE H COULD BEAT JOHN CENA!

TUCKER: WANNA FIGHT?

{Tucker is red faced from the exertion of yelling.}

JIMBOB: no not really

{A taller, probably older kid walks by, his head out of camera's view. He gives Tucker a quick shove to the chest, knocking him over. After a couple moments, he gets to his feet, his face redder than a beet.}

TUCKER: Oh no, HE'S DONE IT NOW!

{TUCKER pauses his rant to pant angrily. Sweat beads his brow.}

TUCKER: LEMME FUEL UP, AND I'LL LAY THE SMACKDOWN!

{Tucker produces a 2 liter bottle of Mountain Dew from his backpack, unscrews the cap, tips his head up and starts chugging, pausing often to noisily breathe from his nose. In about a minute, the bottle is empty. He stuffs the empty container back into his backpack.}

TUCKER: Okay, watch this! I'll PILEDRIVE that jerk! ARG!

{Tucker charges the kid that pushed him. On his way, he pukes out a large volume of the Mountain Dew he drank earlier, and falls over.}

JIMBOB: I TOLD YOU NOT TO DRINK THAT MUCH!

TUCKER: NO YOU DIDN'T!

{Jimbob sits down and plays his game boy.}

MORAL OF THE STORY: DON'T DRINK TOO MUCH SODA
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