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From Wuw Archive

Patrick tells everyone his favourite candy products.

Cast: Patrick, Homestar Runner, Marzipan, Coach Z, Strong Sad, Strong Bad, Strong Mad, King of Town, Homsar, Iori

Transcript

PATRICK: {while typing "patrick_email.exe"} Insert e-mail intro here.

subject: Candy

Dear patrique,

What is your favorite brand of candy?

<(^<>^)> Zoo977

{Patrick pronounces "patrique" as "pa-tree-quay" and says "Hey! I am no pa-tree-quay! If anyone's a pa-tree-quay, it's you!". Patrick says "Kirby with chicken beak, 977 Zoos." instead of the last line.}

PATRICK: {typing} Whoa! I got e-mailed by 977 freakin' zoos? I didn't know I was THAT popular! {clears screen} So anyway, yes, I do have a favourite brand of candy. But before I tell you, I'm going to tell you my other favourite brands of candy!

{cut to a white screen}

PATRICK: {voice over} Ok, one of them, is Mars. {text appears: 1: Mars} There has never been another better concoction of caramel on nougat in chocolate. Plus, there seems to be a tribal design on the bottom. {a picture of the bottom of a Mars bar comes onscreen as Patrick talks about the "tribal design"; it fades out as Patrick is done talking about it} Next: Reese's Peanut Butter Cups and Reese's Pieces. {text appears: 2: Reese's} What can I say? Chocolate and peanut butter go good together. Next: Twix. {text appears: 3: Twix} Twix's are delicious! Next: Crunchie. {just guess what text appears} I have a question about it: Is the thing in it that makes is crunchy called sponge taffy? {a picture of a bitten Crunchie bar appears; a question mark appears next to it} I forgot what it was called. Next: Skittles. {cue text} Finally, something that isn't chocolate related. This candy is not bad. The gum version isn't bad either, but it makes my fingers sticky. {a picture of a box of Skittles Gum appears} Next: M&M's. {cue text} Sort of like a chocolate version of Skittles. Next: Uhh... I can't really think of anything else, actually.

{cut back to reality}

PATRICK: {typing} Ok, now the moment you've all been waiting for... My favourite brand of candy is... Crispy Crunch! There is no flaw I can find with it! No, I wasn't hypnotized by that creepy guy on TV, I really mean it. {clears screen} Wow, this e-mail is short. And it lacks H*R characters. Time do do something about that. {cut to the field, where Homestar is there} So Homestar, what is your favourite brand of candy?

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Hmm... I do like the boring, brown chocolate bars, and Smarties are fine too, but my favourite candy product is definatley peanuts.

PATRICK: Hmm... interesting.

{now Marzipan is there}

MARZIPAN: I don't eat candy.

{now Coach Z is there}

COACH Z: Mouthwarsh, if that is a candy.

PATRICK: {sarcastically} Wow, I never would have guessed.

{now Strong Sad is there}

STRONG SAD: Necco Wafers. They remind me of when I used to eat the colored chalk when I was in school. I was sick for a year and nearly died...

PATRICK: Wow, that sucks.

{now Strong Bad is there}

STRONG BAD: I don't know... I guess my own candy bar, Sblounskched. {has trouble pronouncing Sblounskched}

PATRICK: Sblounskched? {also has trouble pronouncing word}

STRONG BAD: Sblounskched. {has trouble pronouncing word again}

PATRICK: Sblounskched? {has trouble pronouncing word again}

STRONG BAD: I'm not going to say it again, ok?

{now Strong Mad is there}

STRONG MAD: I LIKE CANDY! I LIKE CANDY!

{now The K.O.T is there}

KING OF TOWN: I like any candy, but my favourite one is, and always has been, butter.

PATRICK: Interesting.

{now Homsar is there}

HOMSAR: AaAaAaAh, mine is the flavour of cherry!

PATRICK: Cherry flavoured, eh?

HOMSAR: Eh!

{now Iori is there}

IORI: Favourite candy, eh? Let me think about that. {Iori goes into a thinking pose; 5 seconds pass}

PATRICK: Uh, Iori?

IORI: Hold on, I'm thinking. {another 5 seconds pass; cut back to the computer}

PATRICK: {typing} There you go, those 977 zoos that emailed me. Not only do you guys know my favourite candy product, now you know everyone else's! {pan out; Iori is there}

IORI: Except mine! I didn't get to say anything!

PATRICK: Fine, think while the paper is down, 'kay?

IORI: Okay! {goes into thinking pose; Paper comes down}

{15 seconds pass}

IORI: Crispy Crunch.

Easter Eggs

• Click on Iori's head after he says his last line to see a red candy bar wrapper that says: Crispy Crunch Approved by Patrick and Iori!

Fun Facts

CD Container

• The CD Container in this e-mail reads: "GT5 demo"

Explainations

• For a while here in Brantford, there were various Crispy Crunch commercials starring a guy who attempts to hypnotize the watcher to get a Crispy Crunch bar if he/she hears a car horn.

H*R References

• Strong Sad lines explaining his favourite candy comes from The House That Gave Sucky Treats.
• Strong Bad's candy bar comes from candy product.

Real World References

• Most of the candy is real.