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Gavin Price's Flaming Circus Tent/1
From Wuw Archive
Episode 1: "Scene 1, Take 1"
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Transcript
{cue opening. Cut to a kitchen. A teenager is sitting at the kitchen table, eating breakfast and humming a tune. A woman, the teen's mother, walks onscreen and sets some pills on the table}
WOMAN: Take your pills, honey.
{the teen stands up and starts singing}
TEEN: WE'RE NOT GONNA TAKE IT! NO! WE AIN'T GONNA TAKE IT! WE'RE NOT GONNA TAKE IT ANYMORE!
WOMAN: Take your damn pills, Kenny.
KENNY:{singing} Okay, mom... {continues humming and swallows the pills. The humming suddenly stops}
WOMAN: Alright. Now, are you finished with your breakfast?
KENNY:{monotone} No. I am not.
{cut to a man that is wearing dark sunglasses standing in front of what appears to be a real-life version of M. C. Escher's Relativity (the stairs painting, for those of you in the cheap seats). Multiple people are walking around, apparently in a trance}
MAN: Are you tired of your average Euclidean geometric neighborhood? Then move to Escher Fields! The only gated community that violates basic laws of physics! Why am I wearing these sunglasses? Well... {removes sunglasses, revealing bloody bandages wrapped around his eyes} I poked my own eyes out to prevent me from looking at this horrifying place! You see, if someone looks at this place in real life, their brains will overload, turning them into mindless drones!
{Zoom out. James, a hotshot TV writer, is gesturing to the scene just shown, which is on a projector. Two executives are, like, "Watever, dude!"}
JAMES: And this is just a small sample of what is yet to come!
EXEC 1: That was terrible.
JAMES: No, no, no! It's wacky! It's pythonesque!
EXEC 2: You wouldn't know pythonesque if it slapped you across the face.
JAMES: B
EXEC 1: The jokes are original but somehow tired before they start. The dang thing is incredibly verbose and overdone. Sketch shows run on alacrity, my boy, or at least the ability to evolve.
JAMES: No! Someone out there understands my jokes! I'm taking my show and going to YouTube!
{Cut: Outside. James is angry, walking out the door. He takes one step off the curb and is hit by a speeding bus. Cut: the ER. James is being wheeled in, covered by a sheet. A frothing mob of whooping doctors and nurses surround him. Operation begins after a bit.}
DOCTOR: Alright, hand me the VapoRub.
NURSE: But-!
DOCTOR: Who's the surgeon around here?
SURGEON: I am!
DCOTOR: That's right, me!
{The doctor is handed the VapoRub and applies it under James' nose.}
DOCTOR: I've done all that is possible. Now we can only hope he turns out okay.
{Doctor solemnly leaves the room, a pathway clearing for him. Cut: Primetime news.}
ANCHOR: ...in other news, a Vic's VapoRubTM salesman has taken to impersonating a doctor and prescribing mass quantities for all ailments. When questioned, he did not respond. But now, onto a lighter story;
