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From Wuw Archive

Summary

Conchris answers three emails, but then he had to go do something, Cruroar then comes in... and stuff happens...

Part of the "Cruroar's Goodbye?" story arc.

Transcript

{Fade into the evil castle throne room again, Mistar Badd Gramma-nd-Spelin is fiddling with his fingers}

SHADOWY FIGURE: So? Did you DESTROY them?!

MISTAR BADD GRAMMA-ND-SPELIN: Umm... not likely... no, bro...

SHADOWY FIGURE: WHAT?! I specifically said to destroy them! If that white Cheat ever spreads the info of my secret weapon, my business is ruined!

MISTAR BADD GRAMMA-ND-SPELIN: So?

SHADOWY FIGURE: That means we'll be caught! You heard of the last time my cousin failed to crush the Cheat Commandos because they knew of his secret weapon?

MISTAR BADD GRAMMA-ND-SPELIN: Aw {bleep} this, I'm going the record studio. {walking towards the door} See ya!

{Mistar Badd Gramma-nd-Spelin walks out of the door, the shadowy figure sighs}

SHADOWY FIGURE: Why do I always hire B-Villains?

{Fade out and then fade into Conchris' Computer room}

CONCHRIS: Hurray for email!

Subject: end of the world!

Dear Conchris,
The World will end soon.
A Friendbert

CONCHRIS: The world will end soon, huh? You remind me of Strong Sad after he took too much of that decaffeinated Coffee.

{Cut to The Field, Strong Sad is on top of the box with eyes very wide open}

STRONG SAD: No, no, no! I mean it! The world will be destroyed by Dinosaurs!

CONCHRIS: Oh really?

STRONG SAD: Yeah!

{Homestar comes in}

HOMESTAR: Hey there, Strong Sad! Do you know where Stong Ba is?

STRONG SAD: The world is- Oh, Homestar, Strong Bad is at his house.

HOMESTAR: Oh, right, right. {walks off}

{Cut back to the computer room}

CONCHRIS: You see, the world ain't going to end soon, Strong Sad. NEXT EMAIL!

Subject: WIN A FREE IPOD!

Friday... mk5dude will return...

CONCHRIS: Who's this mk5dude? He seems like a strange character and besides, it's Saturday! You never returned! DELETED!!!

DELETED!!!

CONCHRIS: Well, I guess that's all the emails, right? I'm sure there isn't a third one!

{Conchris walks off, The Paper comes down saying, "Click here to email Conchris!]]"}

{Wind whistles, after a while, Cruroar comes in}

CRUROAR: Hey, Conchris! I'm going out for a whi- Hey look! An email!

Subject:Curse! Mwha ha ha!

Dear Conchris,
This email is cursed.
So cursed in fact that I had to avert my eyes
while writing it.
Now that you've read it, you're CURSED!
From,
Moo

CRUROAR: {reading the email} Meh, it's for Conchris. {shouting} CONCHRIS! THIS EMAIL'S FOR YOU!

CONCHRIS: {off-screen, shouting} WHAT?! I THOUGHT... YOU READ IT DIDN'T YOU?!

CRUROAR: Read what?

{Conchris walks in}

CONCHRIS: The cursed email! You're not supposed to look at it! {presses the delete button whilst his eyes were averted}

DELETED!!! and... cursed...

CONCHRIS: See? I didn't check that email for obvious reasons.

CRUROAR: How would you know?

{Bubs pokes his head in}

BUBS: He bought my very first actually working software! It's called...

{An orange box pops up with a pix elated picture of Bubs in the corner with the words "Bubs' Anti-Curse Email Checker! V0.33"}

BUBS: Bubs' Anti-Curse Email Checker! It actually works! But I had to sell it {box disappears} at a high price! And it sold like hotcake!

CONCHRIS: I wouldn't trust Bubs much on the price... and the workability. I'm glad it actually worked for me.

BUBS: {pulling fists up} You saying that I'm lying?!

CONCHRIS: No! No! Not at all! Now, get outta here, Bubs.

BUBS: Okay doke! {goes off-screen the same way he entered}

CRUROAR: Anyway, I'm going out for a while. May I have your permission to leave the house?

CONCHRIS: Fine. Just don't die.

CRUROAR: Oh don't worry! I pushed Up, Up, Down, Down, Left, Right, Left, Right, B, A and Start to gain 30 more lives!

{pause}

CONCHRIS: You do know that this ain't a game, right?

CRUROAR: Anything can happen! See ya! {crashes through the window}

CONCHRIS: {sighs} He's a goner...

{The scene grows dark but still visible}

NARRATOR: {voice over} Will Conchris ever negate Cruroar's curse? Will Mistar Badd Gramma-nd-Spelin strike it rich? Will Homestar wear pants? And, why does Cruroar want Conchris' permission to leave the house? Stay tuned, next time on {suspenseful music} Con_email.exe!

{The Paper comes down saying, "To be continued, while you wait, click here to email Conchris!"}

Fun Facts

• There are 53 lines in this email (under the 1440x900 resolution).

www.homestarrunner.com References

• The narrator asks "Will Homestar wear pants?" is a reference to the Homestar Runner's Pants running gag.

Real World References

• The code that Cruroar blurts out is the Konami code which is a cheat code used in several Konami games. (e.g. Contra)