From Vandalwiki

[edit] CITIZENS OF THE EMPIRE OF SHITFACES. YOUR FUCKING EMPEROR HAS A SHITTY MESSAGE HE WANTS TO FUCK OVER TO YOU BECAUSE YOU'RE ALL A BUNCH OF UNGRATEFUL TOSSPOTS. FUCK YOU AND FUCK EVERYTHING YOU SHITBRAINED WANKHEADS. NOW, THE EMPEROR WILL FART LOUDLY BEFORE BOTHERING TO SPEAK TO ANY OF YOU.

PFFFFFAAFAFFFFFRRRRTTT... BRAINLESS FUCKHEADS OF THIS SHITTY EMPIRE OF CUNTS. THERE IS TROUBLING NEWS FOR YOUR SHITTINESS. SOME BUNCH OF ESPECIALLY FUCKHEADED WANKERS HAS DECIDED TO FUCKING ATTACK THE SHITE COMMAND HEADQUARTERS WITH EXPLOSIVE GRENADES. LUCKILY, THEY ATTACKED SO SHITTILY THAT NOTHING REALLY FUCKING HAPPENED. HOWEVER, THE VERY FACT THAT ANY OF YOU LAZY, INBRED, SHITBRAINED, SHITEATING MORONS WOULD EVEN BOTHER TO ATTEMPT TO ATTACK THE GLORIOUS TROOPERS WHOSE HIGH POWERED LASER CANNONS, EXPLOSIVE GRENADE RIFLES AND BLASTER DESTRUCTOPODS KEEP YOU SAFE FROM WANKING OFF WHILE EATING YOUR OWN SHIT IS DEEPLY FUCKING STUPID. ANY FURTHER ATTEMPTS TO UNDERMINE WHATEVER THE FUCK THIS IS WILL BE MET WITH DEADLY EXPLOSIVES. IF YOU HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT THE FUCK I'VE BEEN TALKING ABOUT, THEN YOU'RE A STUPID WANKER AND YOU SHOULD GO FUCK YOURSELF.

THE EMPEROR HAS SPOKEN AND FARTED! NOW CONTINUE WITH WHATEVER THE FUCK YOU WERE DOING BEFORE THIS SHITE STARTED!

WHAT IN THE FUCK WAS THAT ABOUT?