From Vandalwiki

[edit] ONCE I DID A SHITE INTO A BAG. THE BAG WAS THEN TRANFORMED FROM A MERE BAG INTO A BAG OF SHITE. SUCH BAGS ARE MYTHICAL BECAUSE THEY'RE FILLED WITH MYSTICAL POWERS LIKE TEH ABILITY TO MAKE A WHOLE HOUSE SMELL OF SHITE. IN ANCIENT TIMES, BAGS DIDN'T EXIST SO PEOPLE JUST SHITTED. AFTER THEY SHITTED THEY WOULD CLEAN THEMSELVES BY INSERTING A STICK OF TNT INTO THEIR BUTT AND THEN DETONATING IT TO CLEAR OUT THE HEAVILY SOLIDIFIED SHIT SEDIEMENTS. IT REMAINS A MYSTERY TO THIS DAY HOW THE DEVELOPED TNT BEFORE WORKING OUT HOW TO MAKE A BAG. UNFORTUNATELY, THIS WAY OF CLEANING SHIT FROM THE ARSEHOLE WAS EXTREMELY DEADLY. NO SURVIVORS OF AN ARSE CLEANING WERE RECORDED AND IT IS NOT BELIEVED THAT ANY EXISTED. AS A RESULT, MOST PEOPLE JUST DIDN'T BOTHER TO CLEAN THEIR ARSES AT ALL. THEY STILL BOUGHT THE TNT THOUGHT. JUST TO BLOW UP OTHER RANDOM STUFF LIKE THAT FORTRESS THAT MYSTERIOUSLY APPEARED OVERNIGHT. ALSO, BITCHCOCKS. ANYWAY, THIS ALL MEANT MOST PEOPLE WOULD JUST WALK AROUND WITH SHITTY ARSES. SINCE THIS WAS REGARDED AS COMPLETELY OK, NO ONE FUCKING CARED. AS A RESULT, THE BAG OF SHITE WAS INVENTED TO HOLD ON TO SHITE WHEN TRAVELLING FROM ONE PLACE TO ANOTHER. FOR EXAMPLE, SOMEONE TRAVELLING BETWEEN TWO VILLAGES MIGHT NEED A SHITE DURING THE JOURNEY. THEY WOULD SHITE IN THE BAG AND THEN BRING IT INTO THE OTHER VILLAGE TO THROW AT SOMEONE. IN THIS WAY, SHITE WAS SPREAD AROUND THE WORLD EXTREMELY QUICKLY.