The Backwards Email
From Umcom
RszGJo Thanks-a-mundo for the article.Thanks Again. Cool.
The last scene
{We cut to Strong Bad holding his knee while shaking on the floor agony.}
HOMESTAR:I kick pwetty well don't I, Stallin Bad!
STRONG BAD:Would you stop sayin' that?! Oh, geez. Paper!
{The paper comes down}
10 seconds earlier
{We cut to Strong Bad at his computer.}
HOMESTAR:STALLIN BAD!
STRONG BAD:Wha?
{Strong Bad turns around and gets kicked in the shin by Homestar.}
STRONG BAD:AGGAHGHH! ALL BECAUSE OF THE STAND INCIDENT?! WE PRANK YOU ALL THE TIME!!
{He falls to the ground in agony.}
10 seconds earlier
{Strong Bad is at his computer typing.}
STRONG BAD:So because of the watery incident at the stand, and Homestar's destroyed textbook, he can never beat me in a prank-off, Tangula. And he I hope he won't call me Stallin Bad anymore.
HOMESTAR:HEY-
One minute earlier
{Strong Bad and The Cheat are at the door of the brothers strong house. The Cheat's wearing a fake beard.}
STRONG BAD:I forgot my keys at Marzipan's. Do you have any spares in that beard?
THE CHEAT:Meh {He pulls a key out of his beard.} meh!
STRONG BAD:Thanks, master in private!
THE CHEAT:{Annoyed} Meh, meeeh.
A few seconds earlier
{The Cheat and Strong Bad are walking to the front door.}
STRONG BAD:Oh, god, that hour and a half at Marzipan's place was agonizing. She has way to many drapes. drapes are creepy, man. Unlike beards.
THE CHEAT:Meh mehelmeh da meh meh!
STRONG BAD:You told me already! Here's the door. {He searches in his pant pockets for keys.}
5 minutes earlier
{The Cheat and Strong Bad are sitting in chairs at Marzipan's answering Machine.)
STRONG BAD:Uh, wer'e never gonna get the message! Note to self:Don't forget keys!
THE CHEAT:Meh melemeh merda mahmeh meh meh!
STRONG BAD:Yeah. She's got nothin' in the fridge. Except a note that says, "i hat u stalin bab-homestar". Homestar's a horrible speller.
BUBS:{On machine} Hey, guys! No need to worry, Homestar didn't hire an assasin! He said he forgives you,
STRONG BAD:Good!
{Both of them run out the door.}
BUBS:But watch out anyway! He says. Later. {He hangs up.}
An hour and a half earlier
{Strong Bad and The Cheat are walking up to Marzipan's house.}
STRONG BAD:Why'd Homestar call me Stallin bad? It's weird.
THE CHEAT:Mehlemeh.
STRONG BAD:What's with the beard you got from the old wise man?
THE CHEAT:Meh mehelmeh da meh meh!
STRONG BAD:It gets chicks all the time?! Wow, I gotta get one of those.
{They arrive at the front door and try to kick it open. They finally burst in, and Strong Bad's keys drop to the floor next to Strong Bad and The Cheat. They get up and dust themselves off, and hop into chairs next to the answering machine.}
STRONG BAD:Oh, my keys are over there on the floor. Shouldn't forget them. Anyway, the wise old man said he might hire an assasin to kill us for slip n' Glide incident three hours ago. And Bubs said he would call us if Homestar does or doesn't hire an assasin.
THE CHEAT:Meh meh!
45 minutes earlier
{The Cheat and Strong are climbing down a mountain that is sprayed with graffiti. The graffiti says "YOU SUK STALLIN BAD!". A bamboo house on the top of the mountain could be seen.}
STRONG BAD:THANK YOU WISE MAN!!
VOICE:HEY!!
STRONG BAD:I MEAN, THANK YOU WISE MAN FORMALLY KNOWN AS ANNOUNCER!!
THE CHEAT:MEHNA MELEMEH MERDA MEH MEHNA MEH!
STRONG BAD:THE CHEAT SAYS THANKS FOR THE FAKE BEARD!!
18 Minutes earlier
{Strong Bad and the Cheat are seen walking into a bamboo house. The Cheat does not have a fake beard on.}
STRONG BAD:Oh wise one!
{The Announcer with a long beard walks out of some room and sits on a pillow.}
THE ANNOUNCER:Yes, Strong Bad?
STRONG BAD:Wait, are you...Wilford Brimley?
THE ANNOUNCER:No.
STRONG BAD:The announcer?
ANNOUNCER:No, i'm the Wise man formally known as announcer! Jeez.
STRONG BAD:Okay...um, tell us, our enemy Homestar said he has revenge for the incident at Bubs's. We want to know for sure. So, is he?
WISE MAN FORMALLY KNOWN AS ANNOUNCER:He might hire an assasin. So, my advice to you is call someone you know to find out if he is.
STRONG BAD:I'll call Bubs. {He takes out an old cell phone and starts dialing. He waits for Bubs to pick up.} Hello? Bubsy! Hey, I need you to find out if Homestar is going to hire an assasin. Okay? Cool. Just leave a message on my machine if he will or not. Wait, my machine's broken. We'll just sneak in Marzipan's place. Call us there. Later. {He hangs up.}
THE CHEAT:Meh merda melemeh meh!
WISE MAN FORMALLY KNOWN AS ANNOUNCER:You like my beard? Here's a fake one for your'e troubles. {He hands a fake beard to The Cheat. He puts it on.}
STRONG BAD:Okay...
THE CHEAT:Mehda meh meh!
One hour earlier
{Bubs is talking to Strong Bad and The Cheat at his conncession stand.}
STRONG BAD:So that's our problem. We've seen how feirce Homestar can sometimes be.
THE CHEAT:Meh meh meh meh!
STRONG BAD:So what do you think?
BUBS:Well I saw what went down 30 minutes ago, and I can say, you need to talk to the wise man of the mountain that always been there. He'll tell you the answer.
STRONG BAD:Great! The Cheat, let's go.
BUBS:But he's only available from 1:30 PM-10:30 PM.
STRONG BAD:Darn. Wait, but what if I bring a rose, I strike a voilent pose, and all the ladies will know that thats me!
BUBS:That's not gonna work. Here comes Homestar.
{Homestar walks by and gives Strong Bad the evil eye.}
HOMESTAR:Hey, Stallin Bad.
STRONG BAD:Oh, shut up!
About 30 minutes earlier
{Homestar walks up to Bubs's conncession stand with a textbook in his hand.}
HOMESTAR:Hey, did you know that there was this wussian guy named Stallin who killed a buncha people fow some weason? Weminds me of Hilary Clinton.
BUBS:Yeah, I know that Homestar. Hey what's that water dropping on you're forehead?
HOMESTAR:I dunno. Maybe it's-
{Strong Bad and The Cheat glide from the top of the stand on a waterfall coming from a slip n' slide on top of the stand. Homestar gets crushed by them, and his textbook is destroyed.}
HOMESTAR:HEY! MY TEXTBOOK! YOU STUPID BAD! Or, STALLIN BAD! That's bettew. Um, I'LL GET YOU FOW THIS!
STRONG BAD:You got BAD'D! Now you can't become smart with out that textbook! HA! let's go The Cheat.
{They both jump off Homestar and walk away.}
20 minutes earlier
{Strong Bad and The Cheat are on the floor in his basement with a big map on the ground trying to figure out something.}
STRONG BAD:I got it! Slip N' Slide!
THE CHEAT:Mehna meh!
10 minutes earlier
{The Cheat and Strong Bad a map on the floor of the basement. They lie down start thinking.}
STRONG BAD:So we need to think of an original way to dump water on Homestar. Okay?
THE CHEAT:Meh meh!
5 minutes earlier
{Strong Bad is walking down the hall of his house. Homestar runs up to him with a textbook.}
HOMESTAR:Mawzipan gave me this textbook so I could get smawt! I found out that World War 1 and 2 were not just ripoffs of Star Wars movies! They were really wars!
STRONG BAD:Get outta here, Homestar. I knew all the stuff you just said. Now, leave i'm about to plan a prank-Sinatra.
HOMESTAR:Did you just say Pwank Sinatwa?
STRONG BAD:No, I said frank Sinatra. Get you're hearing checked. Now out the door!
{Homestar runs away.}
9 minutes earlier
{Strong Bad is typing on the computer.}
STRONG BAD:I'll go plan a prank on Homestar right away, Tangelina Jolie! First I have to make a map. See ya!
{He gets up and walks away}
11 seconds earlier
{Strong Bad's typing on the computer}
STRONG BAD:Of course I could beat Homestar in a prank-off. It's easy! In fact,
13 seconds earlier
{Strong Bad is typing the Sbemail command.}
STRONG BAD:Email all around, shake it up, wolf it down, email all around!
{The email comes up}
subject: Prank-offDear Strong Bad,
-Tangy22
Would you be able to beat Homestar in a prank off?
I don't think you could! Seems impossible.
STRONG BAD:Tangy22? I wonder what you're real name Tangess! Anyway,
Transcript
STRONG BAD EMAIL 174!
Cast:Strong Bad,Homestar, more later
Before Email
2 years earlier
{Strong Bad is talking to Bubs at his stand in 2005.}
STRONG BAD:And that's why my lappy is the best!
BUBS:Y'know, you're like 28 right?
STRONG BAD:Yeah.
BUBS:I bet by the time you're 30, you're not gonna prank as well anymore.
STRONG BAD:Oh, yeah? I'll show you! By the time i'm 30 i'll be the awesome at pranking!
BUBS:Sure...
STRONG BAD:What is that supposed to mean?!
BUBS:Well, it means YOU SUCK!
{Strong Bad attacks Bubs.}
BUBS:AGGHH!
{The Cheat comes up to Strong Bad.}
THE CHEAT:Meh meh meh!
STRONG BAD:Hey, master in private!
THE CHEAT:Meh meeeeeh.
11 Years earlier
{Teenage Strong Bad is putting some boxes in a CGNU dorm room.}
{Teenage Homestar walks in.}
TEENAGE HOMESTAR:Hey, Strong Bad! Can I have some pizza?
TEENAGE STRONG BAD:No way! This pizza is not for losers. It's from Pom Pom's pizza. "The difference"
TEENAGE HOMESTAR:"The diffwence"? Hawdly. Anyway can I have a key?
TEENAGE STRONG BAD:No, way. Forget it. If you had the key, that would be disaster. You'd have to break in. {Starts laughing} Like YOU'RE smart enough to break in! HA HA HA HA HA HAAA!!
{Teenage Homestar walks out and closes the door.}
TEENAGE HOMESTAR:He'll see. I'll leawn how to bweak in. And i'll bweak into his house once he gets out of college. Ha ha ha.
{The Start!}
