Other Character Email Airstar Flyer/A Jerk
From Umcom
{We start with Airstar sitting down to answer an email. He clicks on the email icon. Read emails 65-67 if you haven't already.}
AIRSTAR:Email time is an email priiiiiiiiiiiiiime!
Hi Airstar,
I am a movie critic from my show, "Good Movies vs. Horrible
Movies" and I suggest you should be a film critic like others.
And if you do, the people will love you and you will be
the best critic on... well ever.
Good Luck,
Mace Carl Arnold, (MOVIE CRITIC)
Beverly Hills, Hollywood, CA
AIRSTAR:Movie critic? Egh-
{Cut to Strong Sad at the Review Revue watching the email on his computer. Airstar is still talking, although you can't hear him.}
STRONG SAD:I can already tell that this is just awful. The plot is going nowhere, the writing is shoddy, and it's clearly visible that all the writers were intoxicated at the time.
{Cut to Liam Redbeard at his computer holding a Cold One.}
LIAM REDBEARD:{Clearly drunk, speech slurred.} And theen, Airstar meeetshee...a red hippo named barfragan. And then he says, ughhh...
{His head drops on the keyboard. Cut back to Strong Sad.}
STRONG SAD:See? The Review Revue says that Airstar Email 68 misses the mark,
{"Airstar Email 68" comes up at the bottom of the screen and "Miss!" appears over a red mark. Cut back to Airstar answering the email.}
AIRSTAR:-Ey blind golfers. So, a movie critic would be fun to be. Hmm...there have been alot of movies lately, especially superhero movies that i've seen and hated. Like "Cheney-Man".
{A movie poster comes up with Vice President Cheney in an Iron Man costume flying through space with "CHENEY-MAN" at the top and "5.8.08" at the bottom.}
AIRSTAR:{Overvoice} Starring Richard Dreyfuss as Cheney-Man, Brad Pitt as Green Helmet, and Robert Downey Jr. as me. That's a movie based on the time Cheney tried to save my friend Green Helmet, but ended up killing him. He will be missed. Anyway, this film had to much improbabilities and impossibilities. I mean, building a high-powered machine in a cave with crappy metal scraps? And what about the mechanical heart he just happened to have with him, and then put in Cheney? By the way, Cheney really needs a new heart. That guy's ticker has waay to many heart attacks. And then there's Cheatman, The Black Night.
{Cut to a movie poster with The Cheat in a dark costume and Strong Bad in his Joker outfit, except he has a black jacket on and is creepier. "CHEATMAN THE BLACK NIGHT" is at the top, with "7.18.08" at the bottom.}
AIRSTAR:This one stars The Cheat as Cheatman, Strong Bad as The Joker, and a dead guy as the Creepy Clown.
{Cut to an audience.}
AUDIENCE:OOOOH!
{Cut back to the poster.}
AIRSTAR:Yeah, ooooh! Whatever, guys. I'll make up for that insensitive joke with a black screen showing the young actor's name and how long he lived accompanied with sad music.
{A black screen comes up with "Heath Ledger 1979-2008" while sad music is playing. Cut back to the poster.}
AIRSTAR:This movie (CRITICAL THINGS WILL BE PUT HERE ONCE I SEE THE MOVIE). You know? Yeah, you know. Anyway, moving on to Cardgage.
{Cut to a movie poster with Senor Cardgage in Hancock's clothing and a half-empty bottle of gin flying over FCUSA with "CARDGAGE" at the top, as well as "7.2.08"}
AIRSTAR:This movie starred Senor Cardgage as John Cardgage, and Jason Bateman as a PR expert. The film has some down-on-his-luck superhero saving people but causing trouble at the same same same time. The thing that did it for me is uhh....well....uhhh....the storyline...well, it, it....was.....{Gulp}....OH MY GOD I LOVED IT! I LOVED THE MOVIE! IT WAS GREAT AND FANTASTIC AND ALSO GREAT AND I LOVED IT! WILL SMITH, I MEAN SENOR CARDGAGE WAS GREAT! GREAAAAAAT! Ma-an, I was not tough enough on that movie. Anyway, then there's The Mad.
{Cut to a movie poster with a large, green Strong Mad with only pants on, and "THE MAD" at the top, as well as "6.13.08" at the bottom.}
AIRSTAR:And then there's The Mad. A movie about Strong Mad with green-inducing angry genes. That movie was okay, could've been better. Anyway, then there's a movie I can get REAL excited about. The G Files Movie.
{Cut to black and white video of a UFO flying over a The Field with the "X-Files" theme music playing:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JDZBgHBHQT8&feature=related Then cut to a ghostly image walking across a hallway. Then cut to an image of an ID bage with Bubs' Face on it and "BUBS C. STAND PARANORMAL INVESTIGATOR" and "Bubs C. Stand as Agent Stand" in front of that. Then cut to an ID badge with Marzipan's picture and "MARZIPAN WALKER PARANORMAL INVESTIGATOR" as well as "Marzipan Walker as Agent Walker" then cut to The Field with "THE TRUTH IS OUT THERE" on it. Cut to Airstar at his computer.}
AIRSTAR:This movie is going to be great.
{A red hippo with a nametag that says "Barfragan" comes in.}
AIRSTAR:UJHHGFGHFSKJDKFGDJFGJD
{Cut to Liam Redbeard sleeping on his keyboard in the writer's office. The Ninja comes in.}
THE NINJA:Ugg...i'm taking over the writing of this.
{He pushes Liam off the seat and starts typing. Cut to Airstar at his computer.}
AIRSTAR:You know what? I think I should be a film critic Mace Carl Arnold. Thanks!
{Cut to Strong Sad and Airstar sitting next to eachother at the Review Revue set.}
STRONG SAD:Hello, and welcome to the Review Revue. I'm host Strong Sad. And this is my co-host, Airstar Flyer. Alot of superhero movies are coming out these days, so what ones should you see and miss?
AIRSTAR:Well, i'm gonna do this again. Firs up, Cheney-Man.
{A movie poster comes up with Vice President Cheney in an Iron Man costume flying through space with "CHENEY-MAN" at the top and "5.8.08" at the bottom.}
AIRSTAR:{Overvoice} Starring Richard Dreyfuss as Cheney-Man, Brad Pitt as Green Helmet, and Robert Downey Jr. as me. That's a movie based on the time Cheney tried to save my friend Green Helmet, but ended up killing him. He will be missed. Anyway, this film had to much improbabilities and impossibilities. I mean, building a high-powered machine in a cave with crappy metal scraps? And what about the mechanical heart he just happened to have with him, and then put in Cheney? By the way, Cheney really needs a new heart. That guy's ticker has waay to many heart attacks. So, this one's a miss.
{"Cheney-Man" comes up and a red mark with "MISS!" goes over it.}
AIRSTAR:And now there's Cheatman The Black Night.
{Cut to a movie poster with The Cheat in a dark costume and Strong Bad in his Joker outfit, except he has a black jacket on and is creepier. "CHEATMAN THE BLACK NIGHT" is at the top, with "7.18.08" at the bottom.}
AIRSTAR:This one stars The Cheat as Cheatman, Strong Bad as The Joker, and a dead guy as the Creepy Clown.
{Cut to the audience.}
AUDIENCE:OOOOH!
{Cut back to the poster.}
AIRSTAR:Yeah, ooooh! Whatever, guys. I'll make up for that insensitive joke with a black screen showing the young actor's name and how long he lived accompanied with sad music.
{A black screen comes up with "Heath Ledger 1979-2008" while sad music is playing. Cut back to the poster.}
AIRSTAR:This movie (CRITICAL THINGS WILL BE PUT HERE ONCE I SEE THE MOVIE). You know? Yeah, you know. So, i'm giving this a (MISS/PICK). And then, there's Cardgage.
{Cut to a movie poster with Senor Cardgage in Hancock's clothing and a half-empty bottle of gine flying over FCUSA with "CARDGAGE" at the top, as well as "7.2.08"}
AIRSTAR:This movie starred Senor Cardgage as John Cardgage, and Jason Bateman as a PR expert. The film has some down-on-his-luck superhero saving people but causing trouble at the same same same time. The thing that did it for me is uhh....well....uhhh....the storyline...well, it, it....was.....{Gulp}....OH MY GOD I LOVED IT! I LOVED THE MOVIE! IT WAS GREAT AND FANTASTIC AND ALSO GREAT AND I LOVED IT! WILL SMITH, I MEAN SENOR CARDGAGE WAS GREAT! GREAAAAAAT! Ma-an, I was not tough enough on that movie. Anyway, then there's The Mad.
{Cut to a movie poster with a large, green Strong Mad with only pants on, and "THE MAD" at the top, as well as "6.13.08" at the bottom.}
AIRSTAR:And then there's The Mad. A movie about Strong Mad with green-inducing angry genes. That movie was okay, could've been better. Anyway, then there's a movie I can get REAL excited about. The G Files Movie.
{Cut to Airstar and Strong Sad.}
AIRSTAR:The G Files Movie, "I Would Like To Believe" comes out on July 25th. And I can't wait.
STRONG SAD:Joining us now is Bubs and Marzipan.
{Bubs and Marzipan come in and sit down.}
AIRSTAR:Now, this movie is going to be great, right?
MARZIPAN:Yes, it's filled with great actors and scenes and actors,
BUBS:And alot more cussing than they allow on TV!
AIRSTAR:And especially not on the Wiki. Watch this. (DARN!) (SNAP!) (MOTHERHUGGER!) See?
BUBS:Yeah.
STRONG SAD:Now,
AIRSTAR:I'll ask the questions here, thank you.
STRONG SAD:But it's my show! And the only reason we hired you is because we're undergoing a turn-around!
{A man in a suit and glasses comes in.}
TELEVISION EXECUTIVE:Hi, i'm president of the FOXFACE network. My name is Kyle Really. FOXFACE has had to compete with Peacock Broadcasting Company or PBC and Old Network Broadcasting or ONB and FCUSA Broadcasting Company or FBC and FCUSA News Network or FNN and TunesTV and Comedy Channel. And, the low ratings of The Review Revue aren't helping. I want to make you host! You're turning around this turn-around.
AIRSTAR:Yes!
KYLE REALLY:You're fired, Strong Sad.
{Strong Sad sadly leaves.}
AIRSTAR:WOO! ALL MOVIES SUCK, GOODNIGHT!
{Cut to Airstar counting money at the CloudSon.}
AIRSTAR:Now I only need 1,979,156 dollars! Wait, that's still a freakin' lot, but it's progress! {Confusedly saying.} And do the face dance for me, Airsta-WHO WROTE THIS?! That's it, no alcahol in the writing rooms.
{The paper comes down.}
