Milestone Runner's Blog

From Umcom

Monday, July 23rd 2045 3:05 pm.
File:Milestone Runner.PNG
Hey everypeoples! I'm Homestar's son, Milestone! Talking to you from 2045! Ooooh! Today me and my girlfreind, Hershey went to Bubs Jr.'s conncession stand! We got some blue drinks and left. Tonight, we're going to LePrawne's. It's a french restaraunt similiar to McPrawny's, except it's fancier and french. I can't wait to go to the snail buffet! I love snails! One time, I hade a pet snail, but I ate him. I'll get a picture of myself up soon. Anyway, tommorow Star Bad is going to meet me at the small tree. I dunno whate he wants to do. But I have a feeling him and The Chekt have it in for me. 'Cause they probably are gonna take me out to eat! They'we pwobably so nice!
Coach K is really makin' me work hard. My back aches from all those no hand push ups.
Alright, see ya. I gotta go meet Milsto, my retarded brother, at The small tree.
Mood:Excited. Song:Teenager by My Chemical Romance

Tuesday, July 24th 2045 12:15 PM.
Hey guys! I went to the small tree today to meet Star Bad, and he tried to beat me up instead of going to dinner! Can you beleive that? Anyway, yesterday me and Hershey went to LePrawne's. And it was horrible. Not the snails. No. The service! The waiters were robots that shot sparks everywhere! FCUSA is really becoming a city. They say by 20X6, we'll have more buildings than New york. You see 2007 veiwers, 2045 is different. Hoovercars exsist, but they can only be bought by people who make more than one million a year. I work as an athlete and an office guy. We don't make that kind of money. In fact, Coach K made me run 50 laps and only gave me ten bucks. But I can live off it. I own 2019 Toyota Prius. My dad gave it to me. Anyway, me and Palm Palm went to work today. The computers there suck. They're from the 2030's for god sakes. I have a son, named 1-Up. Cuase I was playing Mario Brothers before naming him. I know. Y'know, my computer is a 2037 model, so maybe I shouldn't be talking. Star Bad has a laptop from 2029. That's worse. My computer is the "Miley 1001". It's fast for it's time, but, not for this time. Back then everybody used Verizon Fiosuper. Anyway, what else? Um...I ran into Poopsmith Jr. today. He was, not talking. As usual. I see Li'l Stinkoman being trained by his cousin outside. He's learning the single duece. Um, so what about that...Frank Sinatra the 3rd, huh? He's quite a trooper. Tommorow I have an appointment with Dr.Bubs Jr. He's giving me my physical. When will this end? I'll tell ya tommorow how it goes. Later.
Mood:Bored. Song:Zombie (Remade) by Mizer

Wednesday, July 25th 2045 11:59 am.
Hey guys! My physical was horrible. Bubs Jr. doesn't know what the fu...ller, fuller he's doing. He just kept slappin' me across the face and called it "diagnosing". He needs to go to medical school. Anyway, over the 23 hours I didn't post, someone was...MURDERED! He was Bubs Stand, father of Bubs Stand Jr. All we know about the murder is that the criminal injected him with Sunny D, which consists of baby medicine and bear bile which can make the victim not scream. Then he sets the place on fire and watches him die. That's all we know. Who is the murderer, though? Was it Colonel Homestar Mustard in the library with the gasoline? Or Mr.Z in the ballroom with the Sunny D? Whe'll have to find out. Police says he may be havin' a little trouble with some past near death trauma from being crushed. Hmmm...anyway, Hershey is being annoying right now. She took me to this stupid flower shop run by some a-jerkhole. He smoked a ciggarette while looked at flowers for FOUR HOURS! I'd rather be murdered by that spanish guy runnin' the shop. I can't remember his name, but he may be the killer. But the flag will be at half staff for three weeks because of Bubs's death. Even the Starbadian flag. Anyway, what else? The funeral is on Thursday. Um, Milsto's dumb. Coach K is Coach Z's son. Bye.
Mood:Deppressed Song:None by no one

Thursday, July 26th 2045 1:39 pm.
Hey guys! It's me again. Milestone runner. The FCUSA police department which consists of me,Palm Palm,Coach K,Bubs Jr, and um...that's it. Yeah...anyway, our main suspect is Star Bad. He tried to buy stuff from Bubs's old stand back in 27'. 2027. That's right. Bubs refused serice becuase had way to many pudding pops. Gorg! Ya see, Star Bad was 13. Or 12 and a half. Depends. After the standcident, as I'd like to call it, he called me on his weightless phone. He-oh! My Slimy Puff Snails are here! I love dose babies. Hmmm...anyway, the guy who killed Bubs is pretty blue about all this. But I think he's still alive! Strong Bad thinks he's dead, though. There's alot of floating opinions around. But this guy has a chip on his shoulder. If he has one, that is. Hershey bought me a Cheat commandos set! Yay! I'll see you guys later. Kind of a short post, I know, but i'm expecting them in the mail. See ya. Peace out. EDIT:Bubs's funeral starts in 20 minutes. I'll tell you how it whent tommorow. Peace out again.
Mood:Anxious Song:Walkin' on Sunshine by Who gives a crap?

Thursday, July 27th 2045 11:13 am.
Hey everybloody! Bubs's funeral was huge. H-U-G-E. Bill Clinton attended, and then he died, you attended. I can't believe you attanded, though. You were rude! Tellin' jokes, at a funeral?! What kinda person are you? You should be arrested. My dad hosted for some reason. Being a nearly seventy host guy, was hilarious. Because he fell. That's my dad. He's an idiot. Like me! At least that's what Hershey tells me. The investagation went on. We found out he's pretty old, and was in his 20's when he competed in some contest back in 2006. Now he's like, uh...I asked Hershey, and she said he's now 66. Hmm...anyway, we found some grapes in a shed outside the KOT'S castle with plans to kill Bubs all over the place. It was weird, but it made our investagation easier. And Coach K broke his wrist. Isn't that somethin'? I think it is. I'm still expecting those Cheat Commandos in the mail-types. There comin' sloooooow. I ordered them on Monday! Jeez. They said 3-4 days! Jarz. I beat Stinkoman 20X6 3 today. Man, that water level is hard. Anyway, now i'm just ramblin', so...bye! I guess.
Mood:Annoyed. Song:Buy all our playsets and toys!! by The Cheat Commandos

Wednesday August 1st 2045 11:34 pm.
Hey, guys. It's been a few days, I know. I uploaded a picture of myself. I like green. My Cheat Commandos came in the mail on the 28th. It's awesome. A returning champion murdered Bubs and we're still on the case. Just a quick one while i'm away.
Mood:Tired. Song:None.

Saturday August 4th 2045 11:40 am.
Hi guys. I know i've been teh slacking lately, so i'll definitely hook ya up on what's groin' on. The murderer was caught the other day. He left a buncha clues. ANd just in case you haven't figured it out yet, go look closely at my last few blog entries when I talk about the murderer, you'll figure it out. I'll give you 10 seconds.........did you figure it out? Well, go figure it out while I reassure the people who think they have it right, okay? Are they gone? Yeah they're gone. Ok, it was Senor! Remember I told you he was "Havin' a little trouble!" Isn't it obvious? yeah, anyway, I got my Cheat Commandos on the 28th, and they're really fun! I love em'. Hershey says i'm to old for them. But i'm not! I'm 31. Jeez. Coach K is havin' a hard time with his wrist. It's still teh broken. He can't butt pat me anymore! Because of his stupid wrist. I found a statue behind my house that says "Mil is real 2041" I dunno what it is, but it's spooky. 2041 was 4 years ago. What could it possibly mean? I should go look it up in my family history books. Does Mil stand for mile? Or something? Like Milestone? I dunno. Crabz. See ya guys.
Mood:Spooked Song:"These peoples try to fade me and my father" By Coach K

Wednesday August 8th 2045 6:19 pm.
Hey you Juys! WASSUUP?! This is my first entry since the 4th, I know. I tried to read those family history books, but they were to boring. That statue with "Mil is real 2041" on it is still teh creepy. I dunno what's goin' on with that. Me and Hershy-types went to Bubs Jr.'s Conncession stand! Tommorow we're goin' to Leprawane's. Is it just me or am I having Deja Vu? Anydangway, that's pretty much it. Later.
Mood:Bored. Deja Vu again! Song:Teenager by My Chemical Romance

Thursday August 16th 2045 7:56 pm.
Hey, everybody. I know i've been slacking. On August 9th, me and Hershey went to LePrawane's for dinner. It was horrible. Not the snails, no. I love snails! The service. The robots kept shooting sparks everywhere. I'm having Deja Vu alot lately. And for the Mil is real, thing, I don't give a-what? They're telling me I can't say that on this blog. Uhh...I don't give a-I can't even say that? I don't give a crap, then. I have a physical with Dr.Bubs tommorow. I don't know if it's gonna be good. More Deja Vu. My dad Homestar came here from Florida to visit my son, 1-Up. He's old. Which makes him funny. It what i've always thought. Um...i'm eating snails right now. I love those. Hey everybody. I know i've been slacking. More deja vu. Now, I have to meet my reatarded brother Milsto, at the small tree. Mood:Deju Vu all over again! Deju Vu all over again! Mood:Deju Vu all over again! Deju Vu all over again! Song:None.

Sunday, May 25th 2046 11:01 am.
Hey guys. It's me Milestone. Has it really been nine months since my last post? Someone coudld've gotten pregnant on the day of my last post and had their baby on the day of this one. Wow. Anyway, alot of things have happened, but let's focus on what's going on right now. I can't think of what to get Papa Homestar for Father's Day. It's a-comin' up, but I don't know what to get the bone head. Maybe a new Hover Car? By the way, I sold my 2019 Prius and got a 2036 LaSnazz Hover car. Anyway, this is quite a pickle. Literally. Wait, how is it literally? Anyway, Hershey has gotten on my back about what to do for Summer of 46'. I was thinking we just go to the Space Hotel they finished a few years ago. It's the only Hotel in space right now and it's very luxurious. Never been, but really want to. But, let's just say it's as expensive as a vacation to Europe in your time. Sigh. Anywho, I saw President Byrne make an awesome speech last night about Alien Rights. I thinks we should end discrimanation against Aliens. And I agree. Right now I see signs everywhere that say "Humans Only" or "No Greenies" or "Do Not Swallow" and it's so wrong! Right now he's encouraging a bill to be passed through congress and made into law, banning alien segregation. I'll keep my nonexistent fingers crossed. Mood:Outraged Song:"Alien Rights" by The Sneedles

Friday, June 13th 2046 12:08 pm.
Hey juys. It's me, everyone's favorite Homestar's son. I went to where my dad lives in Florida, and he told me stories about a simpler time forty year ago. Where apparently we didn't have robots get us coffee. Weird. Hold on. Thanks, Robotech. My robot just got me some snails to eat. I love snails. They're like my Marshmallows. Anyway, he said that computers were slower, and that not every building had an escalator. And i'm trying to read up on my presidents of the late 20th and early 21st centuries. I think there was some Clinton guy, and then an idiot after that, and then a black guy, i'm not very good with my history. Me and Hershey went to Bubs Jr.'s Conncession Stand, where we saw Star Bad and Star Mad and The Cheat Jr. And I thought me and Star Bad were good friends. But apparently he has some problem with me. So we tackled each other and I won the fight. Because you gotta fight. For your right. TO PAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARTAY! I loive that song. Don't you? Anyway, I have to go to Coach K's locker room to practice for the 2048 Summer Olympics in Moscow, Russia. I know 2048 is a ways away but it's the olypmics! You know? Sees ya. Mood:Olympic Fever Song:"Something to Believe" by The Bravery

Saturday, June 14th 2046 10:15 pm.
Hi again guys. Practicing yesterday was gruesome. I had to run for 12 hours straight and then push-ups and suches. It was terrible. So afterwards me and Hershey went out for Ice Cream. I got Snail Flavored. Have I told you guys about my son 1-Up? Well he was born eleven years ago on May 21st, and I was 21. He's good kid. He likes pudding alot, though. His friend is Lil' Stinkoman. They get along great. Uh...hold on. Sorry. I just had to break up a laser fight between 1-Up and Stinkoman. 1-Up's real friend is Lil' Pan-Pan. They get along great. And i'm confident nothing that will happen in this blog post will unconfirm that. Anyway, I gotta take those two to the park. Bye.</br> Mood:Exhausted Song:None

Friday, June 20th 2046 2:47 pm.
Hi again again guys. Sorry I haven't 'dated in a while. A long, while. Well actually not that long. Only six days. Me and Hoishy are having proiblems again. Shw thinks I should call more. Phhhfff....I see her once every week. Geezzzzzz....z. She is such a "Drama Mama". To the top! Anyway the other day I meat Star Bad at the small tree and we talked about Bubs Jr. I'm sus-picious of that guy. He doesn't seem very comfortable. I think he's hiding something. Something big. Large. LARGE. Let me go looks at the town's legal records. Hmmm...i'm back, and i've found that a law was made in 2045 that if someone commited a crime and they died before they could serve time for it, the crime was passed on to their son. Hmmm...it was made right before Bubs died. That's weird. Bubs must've done something against the law in his life that he never served time for. It could be scamming, it could be robbery, or it could be...MURDER! I'll update ya soon.
Mood:Suspicious
Song:"Getting away with murder"

Saturday, June 21st 2046 12:41 pm.
Hi guys. It's the first day of summer! Man, smell that awesome in the air. Smells good. Anyway, today me and Star Bad went to ask Bubs Jr. questions about his dad. We asked him if he ever did anything wrong in his life, like...MURDER! He was sweatin' like it was 2039. Ma-an. What a most likely guilty conciense that guy has. Meanwhile, Daulph Hauldhagen the 2nd died recently. He was only 55. He lived longer than his dad, at least. His dad died in 2008. Wait...could Bubs had possibly...? I decided to ask the FCUSA Law Enforcement Department Defense Assosciation Organization Incorporated to see if Bubs Sr. had ever beat the rap for anything. They said in 2008 they interrogated him for the murder of Daulph Haulhagen Sr. I knew it. I knew it to it. It. So Bubs Jr. tryin' to beat the rap eh? Well he will pay for his deeds. That he...didn't do. I'll talk at ya later.
Mood:Still suspicous
Song: None.