Other Character Email Red/Black

From Umcom

{Cut to Red checking an email on his bed. He types in "Redmail.redd" on his Reddy 733.}

RED:Oh...you wake up, you get down, you turn around and then you found Red's emails...ohh...RED'S emails!

Dear Red,
I still am mad at you for whatever you did to make me angry.
I don't exactly remember but I think something to do with fruit.
Anyway, Black is becoming a popular color in Impasse. You might wanna do something about that.
Now get off my rug. NOW! WATCH IT!
From Old Man Wattchit.

RED:Black?! Oh craps. That's a bad color. It's so sad and dark. Unlike red. Red makes people happy!

{Red turns around on his bed. It flashes the words "CLARIFACATION" at the bottom of the screen.}

RED:No offense to the NAACP. I'm talking about the color, not the race.

{He turn back to his computer screen.}

RED:Anyway, Old Man Wattchit! Thanks! I must stop this trend!

{Red goes down stairs and goes out the door. He says people in black shirts all around town.}

RED:Oh corp. I must talk to Black!

{Cut to Red and Black, a guy with a black hoodie, black pants and a spear in the hallway to the stairs which are on the left. Almost everything in his house is black. He has a black video game room on the first floor in front of the staircase and a black target practice room on the second floor.}

RED:Black, I think you should stop this black trend.

BLACK:Why man?

RED:Uhh...because if you don't, Old Man Wattchit threatens to outlaw bridges!

BLACK:Really?

RED:Yes.

{Black grabs Red and stuffs him up a fireplace. Cut to outside Black's house. Red flies out the chimney. He gets up and walks to a big gap where a bridge should be.}

RED:Oh right. I need to ask him to open the bridge. Oh wait. He won't do that. He's mad at me. But he has to! I'm a legal citizen of Impasse! It's his job! HEY BLACK! CAN YOU OPEN THE BRIDGE?!

BLACK:{Offscreen} HELL NO!

RED:Crap. Wait! I can just go back to where I came from!

{He turns around to see there'd no bridge that way either.}

RED:Oh dangit. Purple must've closed the bridge after I got off. Well duh. There's some sorta visitor at his house tryin' to get through! I'm doomed. HELLO?! ANYBODY?! Ohh...

{Cut to the next morning. Black is outside his house at a stand selling black shirts. The sign says "Black Shirts-3 bucks" a line of impasse guys are at it buying shirts. Red is sleeping right beside it. He wakes up.}

RED:Uhh...whuh-whas goin' on? AGGH! Black shirts?!

BLACK:That's right man! Cheap! Authentic black t-shirts.

RED:I'll buy some.

{He hands Black 20 dollars and Black hands him a stackfull. He gets out his lighter and precedes to burn all the black shirts he bought.}

BLACK:MAN!! THOSE ARE EXPENSIVE TO MAKE!!

RED:BUT I MUST STOP THIS TREND!! RED WILL RULE FOREVER!! HA HA HA!!

{The black paper comes down. It says "To be continued"}