Other Character Email Airstar Flyer/Fuel

From Umcom

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Current revision as of 21:41, 29 May 2011

{We start at Airstar at his desk, and the Skypy is not there. He's talking on the phone, while Schoolstar,The Chuck and Homsar44withpie stand by. The bottom of the screen says "December 2007"}

AIRSTAR:Uh-huh. WHAT? An OCE or something? That's a lame excuse. Fine. We'll do great without you. I've got a WGA strike to be in anyway. Good-bye!

{He slams the phone.}

THE CHUCK:What happened?

AIRSTAR:We went on another hiatus.

{Gasps.}

SCHOOLSTAR:It's a Decemberween miracle!

{The Chuck throws his Lolipop into his eye.}

SCHOOLSTAR:Ouch.

{Cut to four and a half months later. Airstar is on the phone while the others are listening.}

AIRSTAR:Uh-huh. WHAT?? Yes! Best of all, i've got more money as a result of the WGA strike! Good-bye!

{He slams the phone.}

AIRSTAR:We're back, baby!

{Everyone cheers.}

AIRSTAR:Now, where's that computer?

{He takes it out from underneath the table, blows the dust off, and swipes away the bugs.}

{Close up. He clicks on the email icon.}

Fuel

Hi Airstar,
Can You Lend Me Some Space Ship Fuel?
I need it.
From,
The Green Helmet

(P.S.:Tell The Chuck He Is Awesome.)

AIRSTAR:Space Ship fuel? I know where to get that! The mighty, Space Captainface! Off I go!

{He gets up and walks offscreen. Cut to Airstar getting out of the blimp at Strongbadia. Space Captainface is filling up his mighty space-box, I mean ship, with Space Fuel. Priced at 3.50 a gallon.}

SPACE CAPTAINFACE:Man. Expensive.

{The scene pauses and darkens, and Airstar pops up.}

AIRSTAR:This is just a disclaimer! The time that this was filmed was May 2008, and 3.50 was the average price, so for all you 2011-dwellers who are filling up at 5.00 bucks a gallon, don't sue us because our character was complaning about 3.50. Wait, how could they sue the past us? I mean that doesn't make any sense.

{The screen unpauses}

AIRSTAR:Hey strongy. We need some spaceship fuel to bring to a guy I know. The Green Helmet.

SPACE CAPTAINFACE:Well, where his he?

AIRSTAR:Not sure. But I do have a chip inplanted in all my friends, so let's see.

{He takes out a tracker. Cut to a close-up of the tracker. It has a lot of buttons, labeled "The Chuck" "Schoolstar" "Cram" "Homestar" "Strong Bad" "Homsar44withpie" "Tony, the Don" "Green helmet" and others.}

AIRSTAR:There we are.

{He clicks on Green Helmet. Cut to a wider view.}

AIRSTAR:Well, it says he's on Mars. It also says Homestar is in Little Italy.

SPACE CAPTAINFACE:Okay, we'll fly there to get red socks some fuel.

AIRSTAR:It's Green Helmet.

SPACE CAPTAINFACE:Whatever.

{They both hop in the box.}

SPACE CAPTAINFACE:Strap. Set coordinations for Mars.

STRAP:Meh!

{Fire starts blasting out of the engine, as they go flying into space. The Iron-Man theme song starts playing while they are flying. Cut to the inside of the Space-Box, with the window showing Earth.}

AIRSTAR:Wow. Pretty awesome.

SPACE CAPTAINFACE:Yup. Mars is in reach. Victory is assured. What's goin' on Strap?

{Cut to Strap on the Lappy.}

STRAP:Mehna meh meh! MEHNA MEH MEH!

SPACE CAPTAINFACE:Something is breaching security? What is it?

{Suddenly, Darknight comes in with a cigar, and Water Bad and AquaCheat at his side.}

AIRSTAR:Darknight? What are you doing here?!

DARKNIGHT:Let's just say you're friend Green Helmet, is being held hostage at my Mars Base. HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!

AIRSTAR:Waaaaaaaay to much Has.

DARKNIGHT:Probably. But too bad!

{Darknight and his toadies leave.}

AIRSTAR:What are we gonna do?

SPACE CAPTAINFACE:The only way we can.

AIRSTAR:Don't you mean the only thing we can?

SPACE CAPTAINFACE:Wha, what?

AIRSTAR:You said "The only way we can" after "What are we gonna do" it do-doesn't really corrolate.

SPACE CAPTAINFACE:{Starts overlapping after "do-"}I don't think it really matters. Whatever.

AIRSTAR:Anyway, so what's the plan?

SPACE CAPTAINFACE:We attack him at all sides.

{"Pop The Glock" by Uffie starts playing from somewhere, and Airstar and Strap look confused.}

SPACE CAPTAINFACE:Uhh...i'm recieving a telesonic transmission, uhh...my cell phone is ringing.

{He takes out a mid-90's cell phone and answers it, and "Pop the Glock" stops playing.}

SPACE CAPTAINFACE:Shalome?

DARKNIGHT:Hello. I DEMAND! One million dollars for gas. That stuff is freakin' expensive. And then i'll release this Green Helmet guy. And don't bother attacking me, I have the most powerful weapons on this green universe. See ya. {Hanging up noises}

SPACE CAPTAINFACE:{Hangs up.} Well, we got a problem.

AIRSTAR:What?

SPACE CAPTAINFACE:He's demanding one million dollars for gas. And we can't attack, because of his superior weaponry.

AIRSTAR:Then we must get the money from the president.

{Cut to a long, round table with Bush and his cabinet around it.}

GEORGE W. BUSH:Hey guys. After that four hour session of money laundering and binge drinking, it's time to get down to buisness. What's goin' on, Condi?

SECREATARY OF STATE CONDOLEEZA RICE:Well, the gas crisis is pretty bad. 3.50 are the new average nationwide. And, it's already four bucks in California.

GEORGE W. BUSH:Well, then we should make the Tax Cuts permanent.

CONDOLEEZA RICE:But that's what got us into the reccesion, sir.

GEORGE W. BUSH:I know, but I have a plan. I guess what i'm saying is, we've dug a hole for ourselves people, so the best thing to do, is keep on diggin'. Because eventually we will get to China. Because apparently that's where all of our money is, heh heh heh.

CONDI:Okay, sir.

GEORGE W. BUSH:Now, what's up, Cheney?

VICE PRESIDENT DICK CHENEY:Uhh...you're approval rating is at 19% sir.

GEORGE W. BUSH:Or maybe my UNapproval rating is at 19%. Ever think about that?

DICK CHENEY:N-no.

GEORGE W. BUSH:What about you, Robby?

SECRETARY OF DEFENSE ROBERT GATES:Well, the war in Iraq is going crappily, should I just go ahead and state the usual BS?

GEORGE W. BUSH:Yep. What else?

ROBERT GATES:Well, we've installed this video phone thing on the wall just in case we recieve ransom notices from super villians. Like in the movies.

GEORGE W. BUSH:Great. Heh heh heh.

{Cut to the screen. Airstar and Space Captainface appear on it.}

AIRSTAR:Hey.

GEORGE W. BUSH:What do you want?

SPACE CAPTAINFACE:There's a super villian that wants a million bucks or he'll kill his friend!

DICK CHENEY:Can we talk to him?

AIRSTAR:Sure.

{The screen fizzes a little bit, then Darknight appears on it with Water Bad and the TAKS test at his side.}

GEORGE W. BUSH:What do you want Dr.Evil?

DARKNIGHT:Dr.Evil? I'm Darknight Creeper!

GEORGE W. BUSH:Yeah, yeah. Just tell us!

DARKNIGHT:I want one million dollars for gas, or i'll kill Green Helmet! And don't bother attacking, because my Mars base on Mars is all powerful!

GEORGE W. BUSH:Hmmm...naah. Having him killed is better than not pleasing the companies that run this Plu-Democracy.

{Pause}

DICK CHENEY:RESIGN ALREADY!

{Dick Cheney eats Bush whole.}

DICK CHENEY:I'LL GO DOWN THERE AND SHOOT SOME FACES,EAT SOME PEOPLE,DRUNKLY DRIVE OVER THEM,EXCEPT MONEY FROM WASHINGTON LOBBYISTS AND GET THAT GREEN HELMET! JUST CALL ME, CHENEY MAN.

DARKNIGHT:No.

{Cheney gets into an iron suit and blasts through the ceiling. Cut to him flying through space with the "Iron Man" theme song in the background. He lands on mars and takes out his shotgun. He shoots a few Darkmandos that come at him, and runs them over with his hummer. He eats more Darkmandos, and accepts their bribes, and then gets to where Darknight,Water Bad and the TAKS test are.}

DARKNIGHT:Uh-oh.

{Cheney loads the gun and shoots everybody in the face, including Green helmet. Cut to a grave marked "Green Helmet 1983-2008" Airstar is next to it, wearing dark clothing and sobbing. Cheney-Man lands right next to him}

CHENEY-MAN:I saved the day!

AIRSTAR:NO YOU DIDN'T!

{The paper comes down.}