Get in the Game

From Ucbgwinn600

Revision as of 18:16, 5 April 2006

DETECTIVE STEVE (writing in pad)

This is one of the worst murders I've ever seen

CSI:BETSY (talking into a tape recorder)

Middle-Eastern male, mid twenties, severed upper lip.

CHIEF NEIL (entering)

Who wants some doughnuts? (passing out donuts) Whats up the fuckin Knicks last night? Its like they had their heads up their asses. They were not in the game.

CSI:JANE No shit! Fucking Marbury! Not in the game.

DETECTIVE KARSTEN Ya gotta get in the game.

OFFICER DAVE Isiah Thomas is the real culprit here. He is so not in the game.

CHIEF NEIL Isiah Thomas that dude was totally in the game. Just for saying that, you’re not in the game. So whadya we have here?

DETECTIVE STEVE The assault was pretty brutal, Chief.

CHIEF NEIL I’ll Say… hey, how you like those donuts?

DETECTIVE KARSTEN They’re in the game sir.

CHIEF NEIL Yeah,I got yous some Dunkin Donuts although I wanted to get some Krispy Kremes.

DETECTIVE STEVE Krispy Kreme, Mmmmm, now those mother fuckers are in the game

CSI:BETSY In the game? They’re so in the game they’re more than in the game, they’re the Michael Jordan of Donuts

CSI:JANE Yeah, Dunkin Donuts, they’re more like the Vince Carter of donuts; in the game, but more of a flashy name than anything else. But in the end gets the job done.

OFFICER DAVE Hey guys, what about Entenmann’s? I like Entenmann’s.

DETECTIVE KARSTEN Entenmanns? What are you fuckin crazy!

DETECTIVE STEVE That shit aint in the game at all.

CSI:BETSY No, they’re the fuckin Bob Cousy of morning snack food. Sure, they have the history, and they were a respected player at one time. But they can’t play ball with today’s big boys.

OFFICER DAVE No way, Entenmanns is in the game.

I mean they started the game. 

No Entenmann’s, no game.

CHIEF NEIL Just for saying you like them YOU are out of the fucking game.

CSI:BETSY C’mon get in the game!

CHIEF NEIL So what that I see?

DETECTIVE STEVE Looks like a pentagram carved in his head. Oh, and he was uh...

CSI:BETSY He suffered severe anal trauma.

CHIEF NEIL Right up the pooper. You know my wife never lets me take her up the pooper any more. When we were dating, sure, but once ya give em a ring, forget about it, when it comes to butt sex she is just not in the game.

DETECTIVE KARSTEN You mean, she put out the whole time you were dating,

then once you got married she stopped now that’s called 

not being in the game.

CHIEF NEIL I mean, she’ll knosh on the squash every now and again. But that’s it.

OFFICER DAVE What about 69, I like 69

DETECTIVE STEVE 69? What, that aint in the game

CSI:JANE No way, that’s like trading in your Yankee season tickets to sit in the upper deck at Shea. Sure it’s a game, but not the game you wanna be in.

OFFICER DAVE 69 is sooo sexy, its totally in the game.

It’s a game where both teams win. 

CHIEF NEIL Just for saying that, YOU are not in the game

CSI:JANE Get in the game.

CHIEF NEIL So, any uh, leads?

DETECTIVE KARSTEN The lacerations fit the M.O. of the chelsea chopper.

CSI:JANE It does fit the profile.

CHIEF NEIL The profile. My mistress had a hell of a profile on Match.com. And she takes it up the pooper, that’s what I call being in the game.

CSI:JANE Keeping your man happy, that’s how ya stay in the game.

CSI:BETSY Yeah, sure but you guys, you cant just be a two-pump chump either, if you can only go a couple of minutes you are not in the game.

DETECTIVE STEVE Hey, I’m the Krispy Kreme of lovemaking, the Babe Ruth of the bedroom, the reason they ever have match.com is so women can meet me.

CSI:JANE Right, we get it, you’re in the game.

OFFICER DAVE What about Friendster? Is Friendster in the game?

CHIEF NEIL Friendster was never in the fucking game.

DETECTIVE STEVE Friendsters on the bench.

CSI:BETSY No fibers, no tissue under the vic's nails. Not one eyewitness in a 5 block radius.

DETECTIVE STEVE Hmmm, this guy is in the game.

CSI:JANE Game, definitely in it.

DETECTIVE KARSTEN But hold on ….he did leave his wallet behind, perhaps we might just be able to catch him if we got to his home address.

CHIEF NEIL Great idea, besides if we leave now we just might have time to make the breakfast special at micky Dees on the way.

DETECTIVE STEVE Now that’s thinking in the game

CSI:BETSY Micky Dees, that shit is game, game, game.

DETECTIVE KARSTEN Egg Mc Muffin….. totally in the game.

OFFICER DAVE What about Wendy’s? Does anyone like Wendy’s?

CHIEF NEIL For Breakfast? Are you fuckin kidding me They are so not in the game.

DETECTIVE KARSTEN The Chief’s right I mean if you had said burger King, I would have been like, well maybe At least they are they Jeff Gordon of fast food, but Wendy’s You might as well be riding with Mark Martin

OFFICER DAVE Mark Martin? No way Wendy’s is Mark Martin.

CSI:BETSY We ride with the Intimidator, Micky Dees being Dale Earnhardt. And Dale is totally in the game.

DETECTIVE KARSTEN Yeah, Dale IS the fucking game.

(rips open shirt to reveal Earnhardt t shirt, or #3 car logo)

OFFICER DAVE He wasn’t in the game when he hit that wall going 200 miles per hour.

CHIEF NEIL Dale Earnhardt will always be in the game. YOU are definitely not in the game for even saying that.

RADIO DISPATCHER (O.S.). All units respond to the planetarium, reports of an anthrax outbreak at the laser Neville Brothers show.

CHIEF NEIL 10-4. You know what fucking time it is? It’s time to get in the game!

ALL Yeah!/Get in the game!/Allright/That’s in the game!