Wikihood 2/eps/6
From The Wikihood
GUY: Oh no! A giant meteor!
{zoom out to reveal Homestar is watching a sci-fi move.}
HOMESTAR: Oh man! This is without a doubt, the greatest undersea epic ever made!
STRONG SADER: {Sitting next to Homestar} Where is the conflict? Why doesn't anyone just blow up the asteroid?
{Plotman flies in.}
PLOTMAN: PLOT! {POOF!}
{Homestar is in a glitched up FCUSA, much like Level -0 in Stinkoman 20X6. All characters have become disembodied voices.}
GIRL VOICE: Save me, Homestar!
HOMESTAR: I'll save you from the lizard!
{Apoc (as a lizard) walks onscreen, with a girl.}
APOC: {unenthusiastically} Rawr.
Y2K: Excuse me?
{Apoc coughs.}
APOC: {more unenthusiastically} Rawr.
Y2K: Shut up and start speaking English!!
APOC: {so unenthusiastically it's not funny, points up} Rawr, for Squeaky's sake. R. A. W. R. Rawr.
STRONG SAD: {Walks in} Has Homsar screwed up reality again?
{Homsar walks in, not wearing his bowler hat.}
HOMSAR: {talking normally} Yes, Strong Sad. Yes, I have.
{Homsar's bowler hat pops out from behind Y2K and lands on his head.}
Y2K: Hey there, Wonder Mike!
{Strong Bad walks in, but he's on the ceiling.}
STRONG BAD: Okay, this is just getting confusing. Why is everyone on the roof?
HOMSAR: Actually, you're the only one on the roof.
STRONG BAD: WAH!!
STRONG SADER: Physics control must be malfunctioning. Strong Bad, just jump.
{Stinkoman K's disembodied arm appears and takes Homsar's bowler hat from Y2K}\\
STINKOMAN K: Gimme that!
{Stinkoman K walks on screen with the bowler hat on. His arms are floating in midair, his legs are invisible, and his body is similar to Missingno.'s. His head is normal.}
STINKOMAN K: AAaaaAaaAAaAaAaAAAAaAaaAAAAAAAaaaaaAA— {he removes the hat} Ah! Man, that thing's harsh on the brain!
HOMSAR: Hey, give it here.
{The hat lands on Homsar's head and Homsar wobbles away}
HOMESTAR: I'll save you! {Homestar ashes off. Everyone except him disappears.}
WILL: HOMESTARRRRR...HOOOOMMMMEEEESTTTTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRR.A
HOMESTAR: Holoy cwap! Who was that!?
WILL: {slightly distorted} HOMESTAR...IT'S UP TO YOU TO SAVE THE DAY....THERE'S A RIIIIIFFT IN THESPACE/TIME CONTINUIM!
HOMESTAR: Ummm...what's that?
WILL: NEVERMIND. JUST GO TO YELLO DELLO MOUNTAIN.
HOMESTAR: ...uh...Ok, spooky voice!
ERIC: {just voice, blank spaces represent static} th_ sim_la___n {long static} f_le c_rru__ {silence}
APOC: CORRUPTION IN AISLE TOOTHY-TWO. CORRUPTION IN AISL- {disappears}
Y2K: {in Strong Mad's voice} WHERE'D APOC GO?!
{Strong Mad walks in.}
STRONG MAD: {in Y2K's voice} I have no idea.
HOMESTAR: Hey! Shuddup! He's right-
{Apoc comes out of Homestar}
APOC: Ew. That's something that I don't wanna do again.
{Apoc eats Homestar.}
APOC: Mmm, undabite.
{Strong Sader floats past the screen, his torso has been replaced by a slice of Bacon.}
STRONG SADER: {Singing} I am the Bacon Man,
Bring all the pork I can,
To all the little kids down the row!
Clogging their arteries,
With all the MSGs,
So they'll all die at the age of eight!
{Strong Sader explodes in a shower of QotW heads, and the explosion sound effect is distorted. Strong Sader is left behind in ghost form.}
STRONG SADER: Meh. Being unaffected by mortal objects, I'm can't be affected by the glitches.
HOMESTAR: Don't think I'm affected either. Maybe it's because I'm so smart!
STRONG SADER: {Raises an eyebrow} Anyway. The others are too glitched to do anything. Homestar, go to the Simulator terminal access point under Bubs' Concession Stand and press the reset button, that should fend off the glitches for now. I can't touch anything, so I'll stay here and keep an eye on everybody.
HOMESTAR: Okay, Ghostymin!
WILL: Uh, Strong Sader? You're bleeding. In real life. Also, Homestar, Bubs' Concession Stand is now a glitch monster . If you go within a 10 yard radius of it, you will become super glitched. A backup switch is ontop of-
{backgound changes to Yello Dello Mountain}
WILL: Yello...Dello...Mountain. Ok, Homestar-
HOMESTAR: Ooh! Switch!
WILL: Homestar! Don-
{Homestar flips the switch. The screen goes black. Cut to the real world. Everyone is released. Strong Sader has blood on his pants, and is still bleeding.}
WILL: Uh, Strong Sader, you might wanna get band-aids.
STINKOMAN K: {looks like Stan} Wait...I'm human? Aww...
STRONG SADER: Carp! I bit myself in my sleep again!
WILL: I'm gonna fix the files. {scans ther computer} Oh. Apparently the NES emulator (remember Ep. 3?) has a virus in it. I'll just delete the file and...done. Now, I'll just add in Chwoka, Darlon, and Vanhock...{Will types in some code.} Ok, fix up the universe, and...
COMPUTER: Loading...Done
WILL: {clicks on "reboot" A 10 second countdown begins.} Ok, guys, get in the seats!
ERIC: {Offscreen} NNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! {Comes onscreen from left, running; then he hits the "Panic!" key, countdown stops; then there's a long pause.} Why did I do that?
WILL: Because you didn't have enough time to get in the chairs? Anyways, Everyone but you and me are in the simulation. You wanna monitor, or should I?
ERIC: {laughs uncontrolably} Will, you're kidding right? Or do you have Alzhimer(sp?)? I pressed the panic button. Countdown stopped. No simulation until countdown restart. I'll be on the simulation on low-level mode, which is controlled from the computer. Gimme that chair.
WILL: Ok...Is that anything like what I did? Whatever. {Will sits in one of the VR chairs.}
ERIC: {sits on the computer chair} Ok, we're going in... {quickly} 3-2-1-go. {Cut to FCUSA, everyone pops in, Eric is renderized in polygonal 3D} Hey! The low-end-mode-controlled-from-the-computer DOES work! With some limitations, of course.
{A beam of light falls from the sky. It fades out, leaving a silver humanoid with orange markings and celshading}
AUSSIE: {monotone robotic voice} Oh good I have finally connected to the server. For some reason this place had been cut off from internet.
HOMESTAR: Strong Bad, Coach Z, Bubs, Strong Mad, The Cheat... You guys hate me. So... Strong Sad, Marzipan, Kingy, Poopsmith and Homsar, come with me.
STRONG SAD: We don't like you either.
HOMSAR: Daahahahahahahha! This butter is moldy unlike the rest of the pie.
HOMESTAR: Then I'll do it!
STRONG MAD: WHAT WILL YOU DO?
HOMESTAR: I dunno...
BUBS: Can I help?
APOC: YEEEARRGH!
HOMESTAR: You hate me, I'm off!
{Homestar runs through a wall}
STRONG SAD: Why doesn't anything make sense anymore?
STRONG SADER: I wasn't aware that anything ever made sense.
ERIC: Yup. Neither me. Everything seems to be alright, I'll get in real mode now. {Disappears for few seconds, and reappears more detailed.}
STRONG SADER: {Alive again} It's a good thing that I can activate that program at anytime. But I have a stummy ache now.
AUSSIE: Are you other players or are you en pee cees?
STRONG SADER: What-a, wha, woot, wort?
AUSSIE: Are you other players or are you en pee cees?
APOC: What? {licks floor}
HOMESTAR: Alright, that's it.
{Homestar kicks everyone.}
HOMESTAR: Problem solved.
{Record scratches. Homestar disappears}
AUSSIE: That is odd the monster attacked me and yet I have not lost any HP.
{Pan camera to see Homsar R. bleeding from several places, with half his body torn off}
HOMSAR R.: Does anyone have a first aid kit?
CHWOKA: Eric, something's not quite right...the Homestar characters are acting..weird. Like, almost like they should be, but not quite. Are we plugged into a bad fan fiction on the HRFWiki?
ERIC: {Checks awkwardly sized wrist-watch computer} Seems so. I'll fix this. {Presses some buttons, everything goes dark, only the users can be seen} Oh f-I MEAN, crap. I got a general failure. That's what I get from installing Windows on this computer. I'll upgrade it to Linux some time in the future. I'll take a while to fix this.
HOMSAR R.: I REALLY need a first aid kit here!
{Eric rolls his eyes, presses a button on his computer and Homsar R. respawns completly unharmed}
APOC: Why am I acting so retarded? {Apoc takes a step, falls and dies.} Heal please.
HOMSAR R.: And he's suppossed to be the "Angel of Death".
APOC: HEAL PLEASE!
HOMSAR R.: Eric? What's going on up there??
{Cut to Stinkoman K being hit with a baseball bat by someone. Hovering above Stinkoman K are the words "STINKOMAN K - Lv 20"; hovering above the other guy is "SUPERGUY11111 - Lv126"}
STINKOMAN K: OH MY FUDGE! He's PKing! Someone help!
{the other guy disappears}
STINKOMAN K: {standing up} Oh, thank Tampo.
{cut to the previous scene}
ERIC: AARGH! I'VE HAD IT! {Tosses wrist-watch computer offscreen, obviously breaking it. Everything fades to normal.} Thank you, emergency system.
{cut to Aussie. It is frozen, vibrating visibly. It explodes into vector lines.}
MAGIC VOICE: Escape character entered.
CHWOKA: Hey guys, we've got bigger...{Chwoka notices that everyone is acting super-stupid.}...fish...to...fry. Crud. Everyone is acting too re{completly different voice}stuipid{normal voice} to help. Well, I can't count on Home-{Homestar appears}-star...
HOMESTAR: Hey guys, what staw? The twinkwe twinkwe vawiety?
VANHOCK: He mean-
HOMESTAR: Hey! It's the cwazy guy!
CHWOKA: Yeah, Vanhock, why aren't you acting weird?
VANHOCK: In the fade to black, all the caffiene in my blood went away.
CHWOKA: That's...currently...unexplainable...
{short pause, while Homestar looks at the background.}
{Homestar kicks the backgound down, revealing that they were in FCUSA the whole time. Strong Sader looks seriously ill.}
STRONG SADER: {Groans weakly}
ERIC: {Colors inverted} Hello earthlings.
STRONG SADER: {Groans in pain. Falls to the ground and rolls around, screaming in pain.}
NEGATIVE ERIC: {Looks to Strong Sader} That earthling seems not to be okay.
ERIC: {Comes onscreen} Hey guys, did you--Woah. How the jibney did you get out of the laboratory?
NEGATIVE ERIC: Uhhh....
ERIC: E-Robot, un-disguise yourself
{Negative Eric transforms himself back to E-Robot, Strong Sader weakly gets up.}
STRONG SADER: {Strained and weak} I think I have a glitch...
{A large, glowing crack runs down Strong Sader's body.}
ERIC: Oh snap.
{Credits run up, end of 'sode.}
IX1X7a Thanks, useful material I added your blog to my bookmarks!...
