Wikihood 2/eps/28
From The Wikihood
28 Fear is the Tool of the Insane
Synopsis
CAST (in order of appearence): Ekul, Noxigar, Strong Sader, Kyves, Coach Z, Strong Bad, Chwoka, The LoE, Darlon, Robot
Transcript
{Open to the field, suddenly, the field turns dark, and the sun begins to disappear}
EKUL: We... we have to hide in separate places...
NOXIGAR: As long as Jason Voorhees isn't here, we'll be fine.
{Noxigar transforms into Freddy Krueger.}
STRONG SADER: {Appears out of nowhere holding a disturbing clown doll. Distorted music plays in the background} Don't you like my Clown? I can see it makes you frown. It will follow you to the end. It is your friend, your only friend...
NOXIGAR: That clown isn't going to get that nightmare thing killed. Freddy Krueger, on the other hand, will.
EKUL: You guys are going to all die... or worse... I'm getting out before it happens...
{Ekul finds a metal case and welds himself into it}
KYVES: Wait! You haven't told us what it is!
NOXIGAR: We don't need to know unless it's Jason Voorhees Syndrome.
STRONG SADER: {Draws a gun and shoots Noxigar nonchalantly.} Flee now, while you still can.
NOXIGAR: When I'm in my Freddy Krueger form, I cannot be shot. In fact, the only way Freddy Krueger can die is if noone remembers him.
{Noxigar looks around, still in Freddy Krueger form. He runs while he still can.}
KYVES: I suppose it doesn't help that I've never seen the movie. I'll try to remember.
{Noxigar gives Kyves a DVD version of Nightmare on Elm Street. The image blurs to show that it is all a fantasy, stirred up by Ekul's mind to help him ignore his fear.}
EKUL: Calm... calm...
{Pan away to the rest of the cast}
{OOC: Do not pan to Ekul for the rest of the episode, unless it is me that does it.}
NOXIGAR: Alright. Let's find that nightmare thing that's turning Ekul into a paranoid loonie.
KYVES: Right.
{Kyves walks up to Coach Z at the Stick.}
KYVES: Seen a very scary thing?
COACH Z: Uh- Nor? Unless you count Leaky terlets
KYVES: Oh, I forgot who you were. ...Wait what's that?
COACH Z: Worts wort?
{Kyves turns around}
KYVES: I could have sworn I saw-
{Kyves looks back at Coach Z, who has disappeared}
KYVES: ...Coach? Please tell me this is a joke?
{Noxigar arrives, still costumed as Freddy Krueger}
NOXIGAR: Hmm? Sounds like a murder mystery of which only one truth pevails. This is most likely the work of Ekul's nightmare. We just need some evidence.
KYVES: I don't know in this darkness, but I saw a black figure. There's no DNA evidence...
NOXIGAR: Let's head to Homestar's house. That hasn't been affected lately.
{Kyves and Noxigar walk to Homestar's house.}
STRONG BAD: Go away! We're searching for ghosts.
KYVES: Ghosts! That's it!
{Cut to Chwoka, Kyves, Noxigar at the Stick.}
CHWOKA: So, what do you need me for?
KYVES: Turn into a phone.
CHWOKA: Wait, you have a time-traveling trash can, but not a phone?
KYVES: Yes. We sold the phone to get the trashcan.
CHWOKA: ...Fine. {turns into a phone, and Kyves dials a number. Chwoka turns back.}
{"5 hours later..." Cut to the trio at Ekul's box}
KYVES: You know, Chwoka, maybe you're right. Maybe the Ghostbusters aren't real...
{Cut to the LoE. It is stormy. Pan inside their current base, a cave, with only two members. Footsteps are heard, and Nived and Dark Sader. They watch on a monitor as Coach Z changes into... something. The figure Kyves saw darts away. Lightning crashes, and a black silhouette with red eyes is illuminated. He walks in.}
SILHOUETTE: What has this organization come to?
NIVED: Y-you! What happened to...
{Cut to the stick}
KYVES: Well, let's open the box Ekul's in...
{They open the box... and Ekul is gone!}
KYVES: Whatever it was... It got Ekul!
NOXIGAR: I see very odd footprints. {Noxigar points at footprints heading towards the direction of the LoE's new hideout}
HOMESTAR: Oh! Pom Pom look! It's youw dog! He's the Louie all along!
{The "hideout" is a dog house"}
KYVES: Yeah, nice hideout.
{Cut to the LoE cave.}
SILHOUETTE: First off, this is the worst base yet. We need to return to the glory days. So first, we need a innocent-looking base of operations...
{Cut to the Computer Parts store from this Bubs E-mail Homestar is at the counter, an Nived (In a bad disguise) walks up}
NIVED: {Deep voice} Hi Homestar I might buy this establishment.
HOMESTAR: Oh, hey. This is a gweat place. I like wowking hewe. Fwee donuts.
NIVED: Sounds tremendous.
HOMESTAR: I don't think I've ever seen you before.
NIVED: No, I'm an... honest buinessman. Honest? That's kind of a funny word... never really used it before
HOMESTAR: Me neithew. In fact, I've been trying to get it weplaced in the dictionary!
NIVED: Oh really?
HOMESTAR: It's a pain to heaw Coach Z say it.
NIVED: {Shudders} I can imagine. How much do you want?
HOMESTAR: Oh, uh what's youw offew?
NIVED: I don't want it suspicious... ANd you can stay in employ...
{Nived hands Homestar a check}
HOMESTAR: This fow me ow my boss?
NIVED: You.
HOMESTAR: Well then, pleasuwe doing bueeznass with you.
{A timecard comes up that says "Insert time amount here". Cut to the computer store, refurbished to be "Not the LoE's hideout. The silhouette is looking at Nived and Dark Sader.}
SILHOUETTE: Not the LoE's New Hideout!? That's the worst title you could give it! Atleast if it was "LoE's Hideout", people would say "Oh, they're not that stupid, Homestar probably just renamed the store", but no! Jeez! Find a nice, business sounding name before daybreak. I'll be working on the interior...{Goes around the back, mumbling.} Why, back in the days when I, Darlon, ruled...
{Noxigar is still in his Freddy Krueger form, in his battle stance as several generic henchmen working for the LoE arrive.}
NIVED: Oh look boss. Time to try out my new invention.
{Nived takes a remote labled "PROJECT CRASHER" Noxigar turns to normal}
NIVED: I know all about shapeshifting- and how to prevent it
NOXIGAR: Wow... you're boring, Nived. VERY boring. Now I can't defeat the nightmare unless I transform back into Freddy Krueger, of which you're going to use that piece of crap device on me.
DARLON: {Walks up to the counter.} Who are you guys?
HENCHMAN? 1: Plumbers.
DARLON: Ah, yes, we want you to install running watter. Sink, Toilet, Shower, Dishwasher connections, the whole shebang.
{The plumbers walk inside.}
NOXIGAR: Great. Now we're at risk of this nightmare, and if I try shapeshifting into Freddy Krueger, Nived will be boring and use that device. How do we prevent InuYasha Syndrome from hitting this series now?
(OOC: Noxigar, Ekul told me the nightmare. It's not a nightmare in the dream sence. It's the nightmare as in the "Reality has become one for me" sense.)
DARLON: Nived, wipe his memory of his visit to us. (OOC: And the dues ex machinas you have won't help you, mmk? And also, don't magically find us.)
NIVED: Off you go!
{A blue pill from the Matrix appears in Noxigar's throat. He wakes up in his bed}
{OOC: Noxigar, You have broken rule w1.8, "The plot needs to be kept clear; the plot is allowed to fluctuate (Wildly at times), although an event that completely blows away an entire episode or renders further contribution difficult may lead to prosecution." You ignored the developing LoE plot and ended it as soon as possible and made contribution difficult because everything we develop is thrown right out the door with your posts}
{Cut to daybreak. Homsar (with cardboard wings) flies like a bird, blowing on a kazoo. Pan down.}
VANHOCK: Some party last night, hm?
CHWOKA: Good thing we're alcohol resistant. I wish I could say the same for Strong Sader...
{Zoom out to reveal a dead Strong Sader is holding onto Chwoka's leg.}
VANHOCK: Hey, has anyone else noticed the new business? They bought out the Computer Parts store.
{Pan over to see "Legit & Co Inc.". A robot is at the counter.}
ROBOT: Welcome to Legit & Co. How may I be making you wait 11 hours today??
CHWOKA: Something looks suspiciojus here...what do you do?
ROBOT: We are a E-Business. I mean - iBusiness.
{Cut inside the LoE's new base.}
DARLON: Gentlemen, welcome to your new home. There are 7 bedrooms, 4 upstairs, 3 downstairs. Take your pick and feel free to customize. I'll be in the command center, monitoring people and planning our space laser, and implementing Death Traps. {Walks away, tossing 2 sheets labeled "Map" to Nived and Dark Sader.}
NIVED: I choose this bedroom, downstairs.
{Nived customizes his bedroom to have a small area for living, and most of it is a lab.}
NIVED: Now, let's see... I seem to be low on tubes with Argon atmospheric conditions. How will I store my Francium, Cesium and Rubidium? Not to mention Lithium, Magnesium, Hydrogen...
{Cut to Darlon's Room. The first thing he does is rip it apart and rebuild it with ingenious traps and machinery. Next he makes the lightswitch a eye scanner, and turns on the lights. He lays removable bricks over the window. Then he sets up his bed and lab in the same area. Soon, he has hooked up a TV and a Super Computer. He kicks back, turns on the TV to the news, amnd scans his eye. Cut to Dark Sader's bedroom, it's full of video games and other junk.}
DARK SADER: So, how's the new recruit doing? Still resisting?
NIVED: You mean the nightmare? He's adapting fine... He has successfully turned Coach Z into Coach Zombie.
DARK SADER: Good, good. Who whould have thought he would be afraid of... {Is interupted by a slight tremour.} What was that?
NIVED: I think I left my Thermite in the oven too long, hang on.
{Nived returns with some roast thermite.}
DARK SADER: Mmm... Nothing like roast Iron with Aluminium Oxide!
NIVED: Fresh for world domination. Soon, this shall pour on our enemies...
DARK SADER: And rightly so.
{The two are taken by surprise, as Ekul is hear screaming in terror from down the corridor.}
NIVED: Oh no! Ekul is reverting back! Quick, lock his coffin.
DARK SADER: QUICK! Funeral him how, while there's still time!
{Cut to a church. The Legion is dressed in black around a coffin.}
REVEREND: We are gathered here today to mourn the passing of Ekul Rehpotsirhc.
DARLON: Churches? We're Evil!
{Cut to a graveyard during as lightning storm. Darlon throws the grave into a pit, but leaves it open.}
DARLON: Much better. Now, to the base before the zombies attack.
{Cut to Coach Z's Locker room.}
COACH ZOMBIE: Broins...BROEOEOEORNS!
STRONG MAD: ...DO YOU WANT BROWNIES?
{Coach Zombie bites Strong Mad.}
STRONG MAD: I'M NOT A BROWNIE!
{Strong Mad starts to turn green}
STRONG MAD: HUMANS ARE BROWNIES!
{Cut to LoE headquaters.}
DARK SADER: -And that's when I ripped off his head!
NIVED: Hah. Did you remember to cauterize it?
DARK SADER: {Putting on a french accent} Absolument! {Normal} Here. {Hands Nived a severed head with the neck cauterised.}
{All three members laugh.}
DARLON: What happened next?
DARK SADER: Well...
{Timecard: 87 minutes later.}
DARLON: You should really write that down, Dark Sader. BRILLIANT story. {walkinhg towards the door} Anyway, it looks like the zombie population has increased to include all the H*R charaters. I'll fortify the door. {The door swings open and hits Darlon in the face. Chwoka and Vanhock run in and slam it.}
VANHOCK: ZOMBIES! Even MARZIPAN is eating brains!
{Cut to Marzipan, eating The Cheat's brain}
MARZIPAN: It's the only meat I ever liked!
{Cut back.}
CHWOKA: Vanhock, I'm pretty sure they already know. In fact, I'm willing to bet they started it.
VANHOCK: Oh, can we hide here?
DARLON: No! {Throws Chwoka and Vanhock out the door. He then locks it and lowers the invincible metal} Thanks for the strengthened titanium, Nived.
{Cut the outside of the door.}
STRONG SADER: Well, that didn't work. Vanhock, take this {Hands him a packet of suger} we need MAYONAISSE MAN!
VANHOCK: Exxcelent idea, Strong Sad-ARGH! {falls down, revealing Homestar ate his brain.}
CHWOKA: Well, crap. RUN FOR YOUR LIFES! {Takes off flying, carrying Strong Sader.} Nobody can get us up here!
{Chwoka is instantly proved wrong as zmbie Bubs comes up behind and begins gnawing on Strong Sader's arm.}
CHWOKA: Shake him off before he gets to your head! Literally!
{Chwoka flies higher.}
CHWOKA: There. Nobody can get us.
{Just as Strong Sader shakes off Bubs, Zombie Mayonnaise Man flies up and punches Chwoka and Strong Sader out of the sky.}
ZOMBIE MAYONAISE MAN: Nobody but me! WHHEEEEEEE!
STRONG SADER: I feel... funny...
CHWOKA: Strong Sader, rip off your arm. Or...{Hands Strong Sader a cyanide pill} Take this.
{The two land in Ekul's grave.}
CHWOKA: Hey, Ekul! Maybe he can help us! {Opens up the coffin.}
STRONG SADER: {Groans and stuggles to take the pill. He dies almost instantly.}
{Chwoka staggers back in shock upon opening the coffin.}
EKUL'S VOICE: Fool.
{A pale and evil looking Ekul jumps out.}
EKUL: I am Drakul, the vampire. And you will join me.
{Strong Sader's now zombified body begins eating Drakul.}
STRONG SADER: {Ghost} No! Bad body! Stop eating Ekul!
CHWOKA: So, everyone's undead except for me and the LoE. Oh, by the way Ekul, if you're a vampire, how come the people you bite turn into zombies?
DEAD SADER: {Shambolic speech} Who cares?
CHWOKA: {Mocking Dead Sader's voice} I doooo. {Whaps Dead Sader's head off.}
(OOC: BTW, Cyanide pills kill you, but you don't turn into a zombie. Info for your next Zombie RP!}
DRAKUL: I command you, DIE!
{Dead Sader slumps over}
DRAKUL: If I kill them, they are zombies, if I suck their blood, they're vampires.
CHWOKA: Ah. Do I get a choice in the matter?
STRONG SADER: I'll save you! {leaps inside Drakul, and forses him to drink his own blood, causing him to fall unconcious.}
{OOC: The cyanide pill killed me, then the infection could easily turn me into a zombie.}
CHWOKA: You jerk! I was gonna ask to be a vampire because I'm gonna be undead sometime, I'd rather have a mind! But NOOOOO.
{However, suddenly Drakul stands up}
DRAKUL: His soul is mine! WE SHALL BE VAMPIRE OVERLORDS!
{Drakul sucks Chwoka's blood. Strong Sader leaps out and into his old body, in control of it.}
STRONG SADER: Why, Ekul!? WHY!?!
{Chwoka faints, and then stands up, pale with fangs.}
CHWOKA: Shame. No more people to suck blood from. Shall we unzombify everyone?
DRAKUL: Of course.
{Drakul releases the spell. As Strong Bad wakes up, Drakul sucks his blood.}
DRAKUL: AB positive. I prefer OO negative.
{And on that note, the episode came to a abrupt END.}
IX1X7a Thanks, useful material I added your blog to my bookmarks!...
