Wikihood 2/eps/26
From The Wikihood
26 Pilot
Synopsis
CAST (in order of appearence): Eric, Noxigar, Homestar, some other guys, Shadow Scythe
Transcript
ERIC: {Voiceover, screen is pitch black} Where am I? All I remember is kicking the computer, then all my senses are gone... {Cut to The Field, Eric is lying on the ground. He eventually opens his eyes and gets up} This is weird... How did I end up here? {Checks his pockets} I didn't bring my pocket computer with me... Crap. {OOC: Start from here guys. My start was just to make sure the plot would follow flawlessly on its way to Homestar-related stories.}
{Noxigar materializes onscreen}
NOXIGAR: Woot! I made it! Where's Homestar and the gang?
{Homestar materializes onscreen}
HOMESTAR: Oh hello. Who are you?
NOXIGAR: I'm No. 0 of Organization XIII. You're Homestar, I presume?
HOMESTAR: Yeah.
{OOC: Homestar initially never knew Noxigar.}
{Austen materializes with Noxigar, Eric, and Homestar}
AUSTEN: Sweet! I finally escaped that alternate dimension created by the excess of dissapointed Bonus Stage fans! They're in for the sueing of their lives! Oh, Who are you? {points at Noxigar}
{OOC: All of ApocalypX's characters are dead.}
{Ekul appears first, but in Homestar's house}
EKUL: What the heck? I think they put the wrong coordinates in for me!
{Ekul and the scenery turn glitchy, but soon stablizes into into their normal state. Strong Sader matterialises in a complex data flow.}
STRONG SADER: {Stumbles slightly upon matterialising.} Whoa! Rough landing. Something must have damage the input conductors while we where being connected, still, it looks like it worked.
HOMESTAR: {Walks in} Hey guys! Wanna know how many marshmallows I can stick in one nostrel?
EKUL: I think that Eric needs to work on his programming skills.
{Nived materializes into Ekul's arm}
EKUL: AUGH! WHAT THE CRAP!? MY ARM!!! AAAARRGH!
NIVED: Ugh... that's... nothing... compared... to my stomach...
{Kyves materializes prefectly fine. Meek Sader matterialises next to him. He is dazzed.}
MEEK SADER: Pasta...
{Nived opens up his stomach wound long enough to take out a Switch Hook. He shoots it at Strong Sader. They switch spots, so that Ekul's arm is now in Strong Sader and Nived simply needs medical attention}
NIVED: Better... but not much.
{The Saw Doctor from Thy Dungeonman comes in, in a shade of green}
SAW DOCTOR: Hi, my name is Dr. Saw, and I heard someone needed medical attention! Well I have just the thing!
{The Saw Doctor puts leeches on Nived. The missing section in his stomach grows back}
NIVED: What the crap? That is so unscientific.
EKUL: HELP ME!!
SAW DOCTOR: Nah, it's my lunch break in one second.
{Noxigar materializes in front of Nived and Ekul.}
NOXIGAR: Hellote.
ERIC: {Runs in} Hey guys. I heard you here, so I came as fast as I could.
HOMESTAR: Hey, it's that glasses guy! I remembewr you!
ERIC: Great, Homestar. I'm glad that you remember me. Anyways--
HOMESTAR: Do you know where Stwong Bad is? I think I owe him five bucks.
ERIC: Uhm, no. I don't know where he is.
HOMESTAR: I'm gonna look for him! {Walks away}
ERIC: Oooookay. Anyways guys, seems like something like a portal-thing sucked us into a virtual reality based on websites. And I can be completly wrong on this theory. What do you think?
NOXIGAR: You might be correct. We have to explore more in character depth amongst ourselves to add on to this place.
ERIC: I don't think what you said made any sense, nor did I ask for your comments on this place. Anyone else understood what I said?
HOMESTAR: {Walks in} What you say?
ERIC: Nothing, nothing. Did you find Strong Bad?
HOMESTAR: No. Did you?
ERIC: Why should I?
HOMESTAR: I don't know.
STRONG BAD: {faint, offscreen} Oh, think you can run, Kingy? Well, let's see how you like the taste of Strong Mad's fist punching you into next fortnight!
STRONG MAD: {faint, offscreen} DAH!
{Shadow Scythe pokes his head in.}
SHADOW SCYTHE: Hey, guys, Strong Bad seems to be trying to do considerable harm to the King of Town for some reason. Should we, uh, should we intervene?
NOXIGAR: Ya know what, Shadow? You're absolutely right.
{Noxigar temporarily freezes time by rolling a dice, dressed up as Luxord. Noxigar duct tapes Strong Bad to Pom Pom. "OOC: I haven't used Luxord yet. And I think it'll be funny."}
NIVED: {Oddly angry voice} ...Pom Pom shall die for his misdeeds.
KYVES: {Same angry tone} Yes. He shall.
EKUL: I'd consider helping. BUT MY ARM IS STUCK IN STRONG SADER'S INTERNAL ORGANS!
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Oh, I have a perfect solution to your probe-a-lem. Let me help you out with that!
{Homestar gets into his "about to run" pose}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Red rover, red rover, send H-star right over!
{Homestar charges right into Ekul's arm}
NOXIGAR: I'll draw a card to see if your manuever works, Homestar.
{Noxigar draws a card. Pan to the card to see it be the Blue-Eyes White Dragon}
NOXIGAR: Good to go, Homestar! The B.E.W.D. works. And WTF means Whack the Frog!
{Homestar accidentally kicks Noxigar}
NOXIGAR: Attention, duelists! My hair is being assaulted!
SHADOW SCYTHE: Bah?!
STRONG MAD: {faint, offscreen} WHY ARE YOU TAPED TO A YELLOW BALL?
STRONG BAD: {faint, offscreen} Uh, I dunno. Why am I taped to you, Pom Stom?
POM POM: {faintly bubbles offscreen}
SHADOW SCYTHE: I think it would be a good idea to, uh, monitor suspicious activity. Elsewhere. Me gone!
{Shadow Scythe vanishes in a poof of poofiness. Meanwhile Homestar slams into Ekul's arm. Ekul and Strong Sader close like a hinge on a door and slam into each other.}
EKUL: N-not another concussion...
STRONG SADER: Look, I'm not going to last long if I can't digest food. Someone get my colon back!
DOCTOR MCDOCTOR: {Leaps in while humming an heroic tune.} Anyone need medical assistance!?! {Draws his axe}
???: Heh heh heh.....I have finally found you. Good thing I put that tracker on Homestar. I might have lost you......
EKUL: CRAP! I want the other doctor! Let's just wait until the lunch break is over.
{Ekul musters all the energy in his right arm and blasts Doctor McDoctor with a fireball}
EKUL: GET THAT AXE AWAY FROM ME!
{Pan slightly in the opposite direction to the one that the doctor was thrown to show that he is spacebendly there.}
DOCTOR MCDOCTOR: Aw, come on! Give me a chance. {Forces a disturbed smile}
{Ekul draws a machinegun out of his sleeve}
EKUL: The doctor is... out.
{Ekul dramatically shoots McDoctor. Pan to show Doctor McDoctor is there once more.}
DOCTOR MCDOCTOR: I CAN HELP YOU! {Sinks his axe into Strong Sader}
STRONG SADER: Here we go again...
{Doctor McDoctor skillfully slices Strong Sader from Ekul, leaving Ekul intact, but Strong Sader dead.}
EKUL: MY FRIEND IS- Oh, wait, I have to pay you for your "operation".
{Ekul gives Doctor McDoctor a check}
EKUL: MY FRIEND IS DEAD!
STRONG SADER: {Ghost, hiding behind Ekul imitating a steriotypical ghost} OoOoOoOoOo. EkuUuUuUuUul! Get me an expencive FuUuUuUuUuUuneral!
EKUL: No way. Some of your stomach acids are still in my arm.
{The KoT rolls a chicken drumstick in Ekul's arm acids and eats it.}
KING OF TOWN: It's discust-licious!
EKUL: I said IN may arm not on- Wait. Never mind.
{Ekul runs from the KoT. Cut to Strong Bad's basement. Ekul, Strong Sader and Meek Sader are there.}
STRONG SADER: -All in all, I don't think I should have taken that left.
{Strong Sad comes in}
EKUL: ...Here I'll show you that other part of the problem though. Strong Sad, make circular motions with your finger around your head three times clockwise, then counterclockwise, 30 meters per minute.
STRONG SAD: Uh...
EKUL: DO IT!!
{Ekul draws his cutlass}
STRONG SAD: Okay...
{Strong Sad gets shocked and sucked into a spaghetti shaped hole}
EKUL: That's why you did the right thing, Strong Sader.
{The Doctor comes in quietly and sinks his axe into Ekul's spine. He is alive, but in extreme pain.}
DOCTOR MCDOCTOR: Docy wanna play HOSPITAL!
EKUL: You... you...
{Ekul starts to turn a lighter shade of blue}
EKUL: Need... blood... Strong Sader... give him electroshock therapy...
STRONG SADER: Gladly. {Zaps the Doctor, he is knocked out.}
MEEK SADER: Ten minute in this place and you two are dead already.
EKUL: I'm not... dead yet... If you could just... take the axe out of me...
{Meek Sader removes the axe, a strange bolt of electricity runs through him. He is dazed and his eyes turn a suspicious red...}
EKUL: I have to... recover...
{Ekul cauterizes his wound. He collapses.}
MEEK SADER: Okay maybe we should... {Eyes turn red for the rest of the sentence and return to normal at the end.} RIP OUT HIS VERTIBREY AND DRINK HIS SOUL!
EKUL: Oh... snap. Well that's too-
VOICE: Hold it!
{A saw appears in the ceiling and cuts a circle. He lands right down on Meek Sader}
DR. SAW: I don't stand for any malpractice!
DOCTOR MCDOCTOR: {Groans} What happened... Last I remember I was just doing my job, and then this evil mist electricutes me...
DR. SAW: Oh, well then, go to psychiatric examination then. Remember that's on the third floor of the clinic down the road.
{Meek Sader, his eyes red again, walks up behind Dr. Saw and prepares to break his neck, but is hit over the head but Strong Bad.}
STRONG BAD: No murdering in my house! I'm gonna be the one who has to cover it up!
DR. SAW: Thank you. I'll clean up the blood on the floor for you.
{Dr. Saw takes a syringe and takes it all.}
DR. SAW: Colleague McDoctor, do you have a strait jacket for this Meek Sader guy?
MENTAL HEALTHERSON: I do! {Strait jackets Meek Sader}
DR. SAW: Okay, good. Also, bye.
{Dr. Saw goes back to his dungeon. Meek Sader grunts wildly, before a strange bolt of electricity jumps from him to Dr. Healtherson... Kyves walks into the room}
KYVES: Ah. Ekul looks a little hurt. I'm just here to carry Ekul back to his Trash Can.
MENTAL HEALTHERSON: Come here duck person, so I can TEAR OUT YOU EYEBALLS!
{Kyves points one of his swords at Mental}
KYVES: Now see here. I'm wearing goggles anyway so I don't have to worry about-
{The mist jumps to Kyves' sword, and then to Kyves through the sword.}
KYVES: -people interupting my plan to RULE THE WORLD! Muahahahahah! Die mortals!
STRONG SADER: Okay, this is getting out of hand....
KYVES: I DON'T HAVE HANDS! HA HA HA!
{Doctor McDoctor sneaks up behind him and hits Kyves on the head.}
KYVES: That's why I wear a helmet!
{Kyves throws him through a wall.}
STRONG BAD: My... My basement! STOP TRYING TO KILL EACH OTHER IN MY BASEMENT!
STRONG MAD YOU TELL THEM LITTLE BROTHER!
KYVES: I don't think so... I think it's MY BASEMENT!
{Strong Bad hits Kyves in the face with his keyboard. Kyves is dazed, then falls forward.}
STRONG MAD: I'LL THROW YOU OUT SINCE-
{The mist jumps from Kyves to Strong Mad.}
STRONG MAD: -I WANT TO DESTROY EVERYTHING! I AM THE OLDEST! IT'S ALL MINE!
STRONG BAD: Calm down big guy...
STRONG MAD: YOU CALM DOWN!
STRONG BAD: Look at the mouse trap... Peanut butter, see?
STRONG MAD: PEANUT BUTTER TASTY!
{Strong Mad reaches for it as Strong Bad begins to inch away. SNAP}
STRONG MAD: OUCH! YOU PAY!
{Strong Mad chases Strong Bad and in the process, rubble traps everybody in the basement}
STRONG SAD: First I'm sucked into a miniture black hole, now I'm stuck here. Can anymore of my nightmares come true?!
{Strong Bad leaps through the hole Dr. Saw made. Strong Mad follows. Homestar falls in the hole as that exit is blocked too.}
HOMESTAR: My dream has come true! Trapped with a TV and no food!
{Strong Mad lands head first on the ground. The electric cloud moves to Homestar.}
HOMESTAR: Wow. That was wiewd. And it's about to get alot wiewder.
EKUL: What?! Where'd he go to now?
HOMESTAR: The same place you awe!
{Homestar gets ready to kick}
STRONG SAD: Homestar that doesn't mean anything.
HOMESTAR: Oh wight. And neither will you {Kicks himself in the face} Curses! That's what I get for possessing someone with no nohand-eye coordination.
EKUL: Oh. Mysteryman. Maybe YOU are the bad nohand eye coordination. After all, he was fine before you took him over. Well, I suppose when you merge with someone who isn't perfect, like McDoctor or Homestar it seems to split your personality.
HOMESTAR: Oh YEAH?! {The cloud leaps into Ekul.}
EKUL: Woah. Deja vu. TIME TO COMPLICATE THE PLOT WAY OUT OF PROPORTION! I mean, uh, solve it. Yeah. Ooh, mod powers... TIME TO TRASH THE SYSTEM!
{Ekul exits through a door in the code. Suddenly, the basement is quarentined, Strong and Meek Sader follow.}
STRONG SAD: Will someone tell me what is happening?
{Strong Sader and Meek Sader, however end up surrounded by roadblocks, since that area of the program was quarantined.}
MEEK SADER: Ekul! Jerxie is inhabiting your mind, this isn't going to stop him, he'll just keep growingf stronger within you until you're completely destroyed, then nothing will stop him.
JERXIE: He can't hear you... You're trapped!
KYVES: Apparently so are you, since you can hear us.
JERXIE: WHAT?!
DR. SAW: I can explain it! When he inhabited Ekul, there was enough Strong Sader's organs in Ekul for Ekul to transfer Jerxie to Strong Sader's remains and leave him here.
STRONG SADER: So he's using MY organs to defeat Jerxie!? HAVE YOU NO RESPECT FOR THE DEAD!?!
JERXIE: I'M NOT DEFEATED!
KYVES: Well, he DID leave you locked in a quarantine. Even if you inhabit another mod, you couldn't escape.
{Using Strong Sader's genetic code as a transmitter, he locks onto Strong Sader and transmits to him.}
STRONG SADER: {Falls on the ground. Strained voice.} Argh! He's taking over! I can't... fight him...
KYVES: There's only one way... SHOOT RADIATION AT ME WITH PLASMA!
{Kyves creates a parabolic dish of magnetism}
STRONG SADER: {Deep voice} Oh, I don't think so! {Sinks into the code and teleports to another part of the simulation.}
{Cut to Ekul in the code}
COMPUTER VOICE: Warning. Virus has possession of Moderator.
EKUL: Crud. Suspend Moderator 03's powers.
COMPUTER VOICE: Unable to comply
EKUL: Dang. Computer, give Moderator powers to... uh, Kyves?
COMPUTER VOICE: User is currently in quarentine.
EKUL: I'm going to regret this. Computer, make Temporary Moderator Nived.
COMPUTER VOICE: Command accepted.
{Nived appears}
NIVED: Well well well...
EKUL: ...I need your help.
{OOC: I'm writing myself out for a few hours. -Strong Sader}
EKUL: Well now, according to these charts, Strong Sader's gone. Let me back to-
{Cut back to Strong Bad's basement. It's back to normal}
EKUL: ...So that's why we can't find Strong Sader.
BUBS: Ah. Now why should I care about this guy?
EKUL: You shouldn't.
BUBS: Uh, right. How do I know you're telling the truth?
EKUL: You can't.
BUBS: So... Can I patent Jerxie?
{Cut to Alt Noxigar, who is lurking in the kitchen with a bag. He places the bag in the freezer, and runs away with the freezer. Alt Noxigar then walks to the field.}
ALT NOXIGAR: Now those Chaos Emeralds won't run away and turn into a plot. Now they can stay as a gag reflex.
{OOC: Keep it. This prevents Noxi from using them. Alt Noxigar canonically has them. I'm just following the rules.}
{Austen materializes next to Alt Noxigar}
AUSTEN: Sweet! I'm back! Snappy dialogue is sure to follow! Wait... Ekul possessed? That's too bad... I feel like sueing someone for this. Good thing I have Phoenix Wright on speed dial!
{Austen pulls out a cordless phone, presses a button that's floating in mid-air, and puts it to his ear. Cut to Noxigar, who is on the roof of Homestar's house.}
NOXIGAR: Somehow I think something odd is happening. Is that stupid virus back? I'll just kill it with some frosty temperatures. {Noxigar transforms into Vexen and heads towards Jerxie. Noxigar freezes Jerxie in place.}
NOXIGAR: Ekul, where do we kill this stupid virus at? I froze it in place so as to capture it. Also, can Coach Z get some dialogue and some Gatorade?
{The cloud seperates from Strong Sader, melting through the ice and floats to the football feild.}
COACH Z: -So I just removed the ceoncrete, and it all came rushing back!
STRONG BAD: Yeah... I don't think that counts as a hobby.
{The cloud enters Coach Z's head.}
COACH Z: Well is DECAPITATING CHILDREN {Switch back to normal} Considered a hobby?
{Ekul comes back in}
EKUL: Say guys, are we-
COACH Z: DO 10,000 LARPS!
EKUL: Uh, okay... STrong Bad, little help please.
STRONG BAD: LIGTHNINGBOLT!
COACH Z: What aer you guys doing?
EKUL: L.A.R.P.ing?
COACH Z: What's that?
STRONG BAD: Uhg, never mind.
COACH Z: It like thares a porty in my brain and everyone's killing eachorther!
STRONG BAD: Just leave this to me! TRANSFORM! {Strong Bad is eveloped in a puff of smoke, and becomes Spacecaptainface.} Now to get that evil cloud guy out of your mind!
EKUL: CAPTAINFACE! LOOK OUT!
{Ekul puts a red shirt on Strong Sad and kicks him in front of Strong Bad, as a shot put comes hurtling at him. The Shot Put bounces off Strong Sad's husky body and hits Ekul in the head}
EKUL: Oh jeez. If I had to have a running gag, why does it have to be strong blows to the head?
{Ekul passes out. A still thawing Strong Sader hops in.}
STRONG SADER: It's a good thing I conveiniantly know Jerxie's one weakness.
{Nived hops in}
NIVED: How'd you figure that one out? Technically, Jerxie is moderately vunerable to Gravity, but he's using other people's bodies.
STRONG SADER: His weakness is: {Dramatic pause} Gravitational Cheese!
NIVED: Captainface, let's get your ship. And... {Dramatic zoom in} bring some cheese...
{Cut to the Proud Anselmode (Could someone correct this?), everyone is dressed as their space counterparts.}
SPACE CAPTAINFACE: Humbuckers funtional!
LEFTENANT SPACER: {Strong Sader} Let's do this!
LT KULMANDER REP: {Ekul} I've got a bad feeling about this
SECURATOR KYVES: So, I brought that Sterrence like Nived told me.
COACH Z: I'VE BEEN ORBDORCTED!
CONNODORE NIFE: Good. I'm ready.
{Noxigar transforms into Severus Snape. "OOC: Noone should know that Noxigar is being Snape in this to make the Gravitational Cheese plausible to make."}
NOXIGAR: I am able to conjure some of that Gravitational Cheese. I need all the ingredients, however. Where can I find a recipe book?
NIFE: Superfluous. I have gravity powers. And Cheese. And you're not on since you're not your space form.
NOXIGAR: That's grand, but why should I care? I'm Severus Snape, your potionmaking friend of Strong Bad's who did not kill Dumbledore {emphasis on bold words, and then a small cough}. Anyways, I deserve to be on the ship. I have a golden ticket, after all...
LT KULMANDER REP: Strong Bad isn't here, Captainface is. The golden ticket ship is over there.
{Lt Kulmander Rep points to a ship made of candy. Cut back to "Snape".}
NOXIGAR: I'm not joking. The one with the alias of Captainface is the guy who invited me here.
SPACE CAPTAINFACE: The invitation letter he sent said "Bring your space attire, it could get rough." You are a civilian, not of a prestigious navy, like SBASAF.
LT SPACER: Don't be fooled though, the space navy isn't all it's cracked up to be.
LT KULMANDER: We need to launch now before the stasis field collapses around Jerxie.
{OOC: I may have to leave today soon, so if and only if you guys get far along, Strong Sader can use Nived to turn the cheese into a black hole.}
SPACE CAPTAINFACE: Prepare for launch, Strap! Set coordinates for Cheesulos 3!
STRAP: {Obediant cheat noises}
LT KMD REP: The stasis field around Jerxie is holding, but it'll last for another 30 seconds.
CD NIFE: Excuse me, I must stall Jerxie.
{CD Nife leaves with Sterrance, and comes back with Coach Z}
CD NIFE: I switched his body. That'll hold him for a while.
SC KYVES: The Stasis field is stabilizing. Estimated 1 hr before collapse.
SPACE CAPTAINFACE: BLAST OFF!
{The ship blast off. A caption reading "15 minutes later..." comes on screen. Cut to the serface of Cheesulos 3, the ship lands. Cut to the inside of the ship, in Noxigar's cabin. He has a Nintendo DS and a stylus ready to play it. He is seen playing Pokemon Pearl. Jerxie, under the alias of a different trainer, decides to enter Noxigar's DS.}
{Cut to the stick. A subtitle saying "3 hours later" comes on screen. Chwoka, Darlon, and Vanhock materialize.}
CHWOKA: Ugh...
{A explosion in the sky happens.}
VANHOCK: WHAT WAS THAT!?
{The entire crew of Space Captainface's ship falls from the sky. The Nintendo DS is crushed by Strong Mad.}
LT KMD REP: We finally defeated Jerxie by making him somehow offcamera get trapped in gravity cheese! I guess we're done here. {Changes back to Ekul}
{A small fragment of Jerxie masses itself from the DS.}
JERXIE: YOU IDIOTS! You have ruined the most elabourate plan in the history of the universe!
STRONG SADER: Yeah, yeah. {Removes some cheese from his pocket. He throws it into the sky and zaps it with electricity, it collapses into a cheesy vortex.}
JERXIE: NO! A Gravitational Cheese Black Hole! My one weakness! {He is sucked inside and explodes.}
{Nived uses his own gravity powers to redirect the black hole to outer space. Or rather, he uses it to redirect the planet away from the hole.}
EKUL: So long Jerxie, may you never return.
STRONG SADER: What now...
Act 2: Teebeevision Combustion
{Five second silence, followed by an abrupt change to Strong Sader, Ekul and Chwoka watching the TV on the couch in Strong Bad's basement. Meek Sader and Vanhock are watching from the floor.}
EKUL: Wow this is boring. Can't we go to the sci fi channel?
{Strong Bad pokes his head in}
STRONG BAD: No! Don't mess with my channels!
EKUL: Look, I can't handle sitcoms all day. {Laughtrack} Oh great. Now we're in one. {Laughtrack}
STRONG BAD: Y'know what? I'm just going to check my emails in here, so that I can keep you from changing the channels. I'll be right back.
{Ekul changes the channel to Sci fi}
TELEVISION: Meet me in the transporter room, Worf. Number one, you have the bridge
EKUL: I glued his Lappy to the desk. {Laughtrack} AND SHUT UP, LAUGHTRACK!
STRONG SADER: That's what she said! {Laughtrack} Where's that coming from?
EKUL: From beyond the fourth wall, I think... Unless...
{Ekul purposefully gets his foot stuck in the couch}
EKUL: Oh no, my foot is stuck. {Laughtrack begins, and Ekul grabs Vanhock around the mouth. Nothing happens to the Laughtrack} Dang.
STRONG SAD: Will you guys stop laughing? You're interupting my hourly chant.
EKUL: Strong Sad, it's not going to stop. We have the sci fi channel on!
STRONG SAD: MY WORST NIGHTMARES HAVE MANIFESTED THEMSELVES IN THE FLESH! {Laughtrack}
HOMESTAR: {Pops up from behind the couch} Hey guys! Is this the Louie? {"Holds" up a speaker. A badly editted laugh comes from it.}
EKUL: STRONG SAD? What? You can't be talking about the scifi channel... Don't you LIKE it?
STRONG SAD: No. Ever since I was six I've been having vived dreams of a laughtrack laughing at me from nowhere.
HOMESTAR: {Off screen} Hello?
EKUL: Go hang a salami. Anyway, I can break the source!
{Ekul kicks over the laughtrack machine and it breaks}
LAUGHTRACK: Ha ha... ha... {Silence}
EKUL: And now there will be no negative repercussions! WHATSOEVER!
{The TV explodes in Ekul's face.}
EKUL: Oops. Time to leave.
{Ekul runs upstairs and through the door. Strong Bad walks in}
STRONG BAD: Finally... I got it unstu- WHAT THE CRAP HAPPENED TO MY TV?!
STRONG SADER: {Points at Strong Sad} Strong Sad did it.
MEEK SADER: Yeah.
STRONG BAD: I'll get you for this!
{Strong Bad picks up a flaming piece of his TV and throws it at Strong Sad. Strong Sad ducks, and the TV hits The Cheat, who catches afire.}
STRONG BAD: I'll worry about that later.
{Strong Sad runs, but stops to catch his breath}
STRONG SAD: It wasn't me! The laughtrack machine has bullets in it! I don't shoot things!
STRONG BAD: Oh. Right. I'm still going to punch your stomach.
{Strong Bad punches Strong Sad in the stomach. He barfs over Strong Bad.}
STRONG BAD: AHHGG! Crap! I'm allergic to puke! It's only a matter of time before... {Strong Bad's reaction kicks in and he turns into a piece of cardboard.}
HOMESTAR: Whoa! It's just like in that movie: Attack of the Killer Cardboard.
EKUL: That explains why he has the Cheat clean his keyboard. Only problem is, The Cheat is burning to death.
{The Cheat runs in, and runs in circles}
THE CHEAT: MEH-MEH-MEH-MEH-MEH-MEH-MEH-MEH-MEH-MEH-MEH-MEH-MEH-MEH!
{Shadow Scythe walks into the room and glances first at the Cheat, then the burning TV, then Strong Sad who fell over ill, and "Cardboard Bad".}
SHADOW SCYTHE: D-d-duh... do I even want to know?
EKUL: Uh... No. You should probably clean this up.
SHADOW SCYTHE: Oh, uh, I have an important... thing... to do... bye!
{Shadow zips away quickly}
DOCTOR MCDOCTOR: {Enters} Hey guys! Heard that some of your guys where in need of medical attention. Burn cream, stomach upset tablets and allergy prevention talets and whatnot. So I just thought I'd come over.
HOMESTAR: Hey! It's the doctorm'n! I ate my apple today, SO KEEP AWAY!
EKUL: He's got you there. Skeedattle!
DOCTOR MCDOCTOR: No need to worry, Ekul. That evil guy's gone, so I'm back to being sane again. {Applys burn cream to the Cheat. His condition improves.}
CHWOKA: {Wakes up, looks at the burning TV, then Strong Sad who fell over ill, then "Cardboard Bad", then Doctor McDoctor.} D-d-duh... do I even want to know?
VANHOCK: No you don't! {laughtrack}
{A time card reads "5 hours later...". Cut to an explosion coming from Strong Bad's second story window. Cardboard Bad is launched a far distance. Cut to the landing site. Homestar runs up in a referee outfit with a tape measurer.}
HOMESTAR: 375 yards!
{Cardboard Bad slowly turns back into Strong Bad.}
CARDONG BAD: Home...star...shut...up.
DOCTOR MCDOCTOR: The Blow-him-up-and-then-send-him-flying-375-yards treatment worked perfectly!
{Noxigar walks onscreen, albeit looking annoyed}
NOXIGAR: Someone owes me a good explanation as to why a laughtrack is being played. We aren't supposed to suck so badly. Why are you doing this, He-Who-Made-This-Laughtrack? I thought we were supposed to have the setting be Green Hill Zone, if you do not remember the previous episode I filmed for you guys.
{OOC: Noxigar would be filmmaster/a fellow developer of Wikihood. Sorry for the 4th wall break}
HOMESTAR: {puzzled} Can you say your favorite catchphwase?
NOXIGAR: No, that would get the running gag the "forced" mark.
HOMESTAR: Noxi, are you some unorthodox cwack?
NOXIGAR: I'm not the most crackinest, and I don't follow the "unorthodox" description neithers.
HOMESTAR: Oh, right. Strong Bad and Coach Z are making fun of you upstairs.
EKUL: It's too late for it not to be forced. A running gag is forced if it's meant to be a running gag from the moment it started. And each time you go out of your way to reference it.
HOMESTAR: My sweet sixteen is comin' up!
NOXIGAR: Uh, Homestar, how old are you?
HOMESTAR: Fifteen.
NOXIGAR: Okay. I guess we better get Homestar a super sweet sixteen then.
{Cut to Strong Bad and Coach Z upstairs. They are making fun of Noxigar.}
EKUL: Uh... Weren't you created by TBC 10 years ago?
HOMESTAR: Yep!
EKUL: So... wouldn't that make your age like, 10 and a half?
HOMESTAR: You're not making any sense. I'm actually-
{Car horn honks. Homestar is not heard.}
HOMESTAR: ...years old.
EKUL: Ah. Should have known.
SHADOW SCYTHE: {walks in} Everything seems to be back to normal. So, what's everyone discussing?
EKUL: Homestar's age. We figured out he's...
{BOOM}
EKUL: Years old.
MEEK SADER: I've made a start on the party already, I just need some music for it though.
STRONG SADER: I've got that covered! {Plays a tune with armpit fart noises.}
{Shadow Scythe gives Strong Sader a weird look, then looks back at Ekul.}
SHADOW SCYTHE: Well, that's interesting. I never would have suspected he was that age. I guess I owe the halloween pumpkin five bucks.
{Homsar wobbles in from the right side of the screen. He's holding a piece of bread that has been painted rainbow colors.}
HOMSAR: DaaaAAAaaaAAAAAaaah'm declaring an appricot fight on Pantsburg.
SHADOW SCYTHE: Say, that's not a bad idea, actually.
{Shadow Scythe produces a jar of apricots from offscreen}
SHADOW SCYTHE: Homestar. Go see if you can get the Homestarmy to participate.
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Yooouuu, got it!
{Homestar dashes off}
STRONG SADER: {Armpit farting the american national anthem at the same time} How are we supposed to have an apricot war?
NOXIGAR: Beats me. {Noxigar transforms into Lexaeus} Any ideas?
STRONG SADER: Nope. {Laughtrack.}
{Episode ends with a "TO BE CONTINUED!" slide on top of a black background. The credits role.}
IX1X7a Thanks, useful material I added your blog to my bookmarks!...
