Wikihood 2/eps/25
From The Wikihood
1Oscz9 The material is on the five plus. But there is a minus! My internet speed 56kb/sek. The page was loading for about 40 seconds!...
[edit] Synopsis
The Combine are defeated, the Earth compromised and Eric and ApocalypX die... but who and what kills them?
CAST: {in order of appearence) Alternative Chwoka, Alternative Vanhock, Homestar Runner, Strong Sad, Strong Bad, Bubs, Homsar, Strong Sader, Ekul, Dark Sader, Nived, Doctor McDoctor, Blue Laser, Plotman, Settingdude, Alternative Homestar, Noxigar, The Cheat. Strong Mad
[edit] Transcript
[edit] Act I: A New Beginning?
{Open up to the white space. The alternates come in.}
ALT CHWOKA: VANHOCK!
ALT VANHOCK: Sorry! I wanted to see what happened!
{The alternates leave. A few seconds more of nothing existing, and a "ptooie!" sound is heard, and the field (miniaturized, of course) falls down, without a sky. Soon, everything else in the H*R.com universe falls down. The wiki users fail to appear for the rest of the episode}
(OOC: Homestar only episode thyme. Or at least for a little while.}
HOMESTAR: {acting as if nothing happened.} So, what to do...I wondew if Bubsy has that new wollewboawd... {walks off, and encounters a large Doom Lake.} Ummm...that's never been thewe before...and it smells like pea soooouuuup!
STRONG SAD: Hmm... I wonder what it's like in there...
STRONG BAD: One way to find out!
{Strong Bad pushes his brother in. Strong Sad sinks and ages fast. Then he turns into a baby and crawls out just as he turns to normal.}
{OOC: Is this one of those joke, not-quite-eps?}
{OOC: This should be part of the newer ep.}
STRONG SAD: Fortunately, I had an antidote in my pocket.
{Bubs walks on-screen.}
BUBS: That'll be $8.75 for that gag reflex!
VOICE: Ooh! Ooh! Can I have one!?
(OOC: Wikihood users may now enter. Also, there is no simulation or Real World. Now it's nothin' but FCUSA.}
{Pan over to reveal Vanhock was saying it.}
BUBS: It looks like you've already got one.
{Homsar wobbles up.}
HOMSAR: DaAaAaAaAaAaAh! {opens his mouth extra-wide and Chwoka crawls out. (OOC: Nobody remembers episode 24 or before that.)}
STRONG SADER: {Is pulled through Homsar's mouth by Chwoka, he is injered} Jerxie... He took energy from Ekul, went into Will and started the process... He's on his way... Here... {falls unconscious}
{Ekul walks in}
EKUL: What are you talking about? You can't steal spiritual energy.
VOICE: Yeah, but you can steal a punch to the face!
{Strong Bad punches Ekul in the face}
STRONG BAD: No, wait. You can't. Never mind.
STRONG SADER: {Comes around slightly} Jerxie absorbed Darkul and a portion of your energy with him. He then escaped the cage and your head and used Will to destroy the universe. {Falls unconscious again.}
EKUL: Oh... shoot. That's not good for us, but it's also not good for Jerxie...
STRONG SAD: Uh, why the heck would that be both?
EKUL: Well, Darkul has the ability to do something incredibly devastating called the Arm of Geddon. But he has to be in control to use it and he has to have my armband. And Darkul, he doesn't like being manipulated, so I doubt Jerxie can just put him in control then take control back whenever he wants.
STRONG BAD: Ooh! I'd like to get my hands on this... Arm of Geddon! What does it do? Take control of people minds?
EKUL: No, it obliterates things from the timeline. Darkul was kept in my head for a reason.
{Dark Sader brusts out of Homsar's mouth, holding Nived.}
DARK SADER: His heart is changing beat patterns every second, I can't understand it.
NIVED: Get me to... a doctor...
BUBS: You called?
NIVED: ...anybody but him. Take me to... the alternate marzipan... or bring her here...
{The saw doctor from Thy Dungeon comes into existance}
DOCTOR MCDOCTOR: Can I help? {"Deus ex Machina!" flashes on screen.}
NIVED: Give me... something for my heart...
DOCTOR MCDOCTOR: Certainly! {Gives Nived some pills. His heart explodes}
NIVED: Poor Doctor died. I know it was him that died since it was in his talk bubble and not a neutral section. Now, excuse me while I recuperate.
{Nived flies off}
DARK SADER: So... What did I miss?
{OOC: I meant Doctor McDoctor. It's "dramatic" irony}
{OOC: Wow, I must have read your mind! It's also situational irony and verbal irony. All three ironies in one!}
NIVED: The doctor that cured me died of the very ailment I had acquired. Now, let us re-ally with Blue laser.
{Cut to Blue Laser.}
BLUE LASER: I'm a fictional character! {Pops out of existance}
NIVED: ...and the regular Homestar characters aren't?
BLUE LASER: {Reappears} Oh yeah... Sure I'll ally with you.
STRONG SADER: {Dizzy} The Homestar people aren't the ones from the simulation, this is a different universe, they don't remember us.
NIVED: That's why we need to RE ally with them!
HOMESTAR: Univoices? Forgoting? What are you peoples talking aboot?
NIVED: Can't we have the Homestar Characters act a little more connected to the world? I mean, crap like that is why we never use them. </fouthwallbreak>
DARK SADER: I'm not exactly comfortable with the idea of helping you to help myself, but if it'll get rid of that two-timing viral doo-doo farter, SO BE IT!
EKUL: Are you talking to me? Well, I'll help where I can. Thanks for your support, however reluctant.
{Doctor McDoctor suddenly gets up.}
{Plotman flies in and erases everyone's memory from anything that happened in Episodes 1-24.}
PLOTMAN: PLOT!
CHWOKA: Ow, my head...
SETTINGDUDE: {Enters and restores there memorys} After episode 25, maybe, but not now.
PLOTMAN: {angrily} PLOT! {erases everyone's memory AGAIN.}
CHWOKA: THE PAIN BURNSES! MY HEAD! OH GOD!
EKUL: What is the extent of the erasure, plot or character development too?
(OOC: Plot.)
{Cut back ten seconds. it shows that he surrounded everyone but Chwoka with an erasiour repeling electro-magnetic feild moments before.}
{Plotman noticies Strong Sader protected everyone, and freezes time. He destroys the electro-magnetic field by running into it and makes Strong Sader's memory go away and leaving him dazed and confused for 2 minutes. He unfreezes time, erases everyone ELSE'S memories, and flies away. He is carrying the memories in a bag.}
EKUL: Hold on, you forgot mine!
{Ekul takes his memories of the said eps and flings them to Plotman}
STRONG BAD: Why would you just throw your memories alway like that?
{Suddenly, Alternate Homestar comes in.}
ALT HOMESTAR: WHAT THE PFARGTL IS GOING ON? I was standing around and some cheater hit me with some car and I'm here. You, tell me!
EKUL: This is the other universe, your alternate. Uh, the users and I are serious here and you and your friends are silly.
ALT HOMESTAR: What do you mean? Well, you're not trustworthy anyway, you all never keep a straight mind.
{Homestar runs in}
HOMESTAR: Hey Penguin, Louie, me. Guess how many chairs I can sit on at once
ALT HOMESTAR: Oh no! It's true!
{Settindude flies in with the bag of memories and restores everyone. Cut to Plotman trapped in a plot-proof cell. Cut back.}
ALT HOMESTAR: I wonder if the users really are serious...
{Alt Homestar walks up to Nived and nudges him}
NIVED: Ug, what is it NOW Homestar?
ALT HOMESTAR: {Trying to be upbeat} Uh... pseudoantidisestablishmentarianistic?
NIVED: ...Whatever.
ALT HOMESTAR: It's true... I might like this place more!
{Strong Bad comes up}
STRONG BAD: Hey McDorkle.
ALT HOMESTAR: Hey! What have I ever done to you?!
STRONG BAD: I think being alive.
ALT HOMESTAR: I oughta hit you with my orange wooden spoon...
{Alt Homestar remembers where he is}
ALT HOMESTAR: ...and ring you on a cash register.
{Homestar runs up.}
HOMESTAR: Guys, guys, I've lost my wooden spoon!
STRONG BAD: TWO HOMESTARS? NOOOOOOOO!
{Vanhock walks up.}
ALT HOMESTAR: If Vanhock was always the worst in my dimension, hemust be the best in this on-
VANHOCK: HEY, HOMESTARS! WANNA PLAY YAHTZEE WITH...{puts a jar of mayo on his head and wraps a towle around his shirt.} MAYONAISE MAN!?
ALT HOMESTAR: I stand corrected.
HOMESTAR: I'll play, supewguy! Lemme go get my hat, first. {runs off.}
{Chwoka walks up.}
CHWOKA: There you are, Vanhock! Back into the cage with you, mister. Sorry, Alternate Homestar. He gets like this when he's on caffeine.
{Suddently, Alt Chwoka bursts in.}
ALT CHWOKA: Alright, there he is. Come with us, Homestar.
ALT HOMESTAR: I'm not going back!
ALT CHWOKA: Fine then.
{Homestar (wearing three hats), rushes in.}
HOMESTAR: What did I miss?
ALT CHWOKA: We'll settle for that. {takes Homestar and flies off.}'
{Homsar wobbles up.}
ALT HOMESTAR: Ah, Homsar, old bean...wanna go for a romp around the tennis court?
HOMSAR: DaAaAaAaAh! I'll eat nuts before I diiiiieeee...
VANHOCK: {off-screen} YAHTZEE?
ALT HOMESTAR: Uhg. I'm going to go hang out with the Coach. At least maybe he has a concert going on...
{Alt Homestar walks in to Coach Z's locker room.}
ALT HOMESTAR: Uh, this place is rather empty. And vast...
COACH Z: Oh, hey dere!
ALT HOMESTAR: Your exaggerated voice is enough to tell me I'd best be off with the users and not my friends.
{Alt Homestar leaves}
COACH Z: Oh! Wairt! You left your towrl in the terlet last terme! Dorn't you wornt to come get it?
{Cut to a jar of mayo. Strong Sader, Ekul and Chwoka investigate.}
STRONG SADER: Alright, according to my calculations the mayonaise jar here is the opening point of the dimentional rift we were sucked through when our universe collapsed. Jerxie is now fully independent, his power exceeds even that of Nived, so we have to hold him in the ruins of the old universe until we find a way to stop him.
{OOC: Wasn't the old universe completely annihalated and banned? And all the plots null and void?}
{OOC: The plot has yet to be resolved completely, and we don't intent to completely sever the conection between the old and new storylines.}
EKUL: Well, Darkul is more of a pain than he's worth, so I doubt Jerxie'll be in control of his own mind fairly soon.
{Plotman flies in and deletes all traces of Wikihood episodes 1-24 having escaped. (OOC: Yes, we DO intend to start anew.)}
SETTINGDUDE: YOU'VE DONE ENOUGH! {Draws an Anti-Plotzooka and shoots Plotman. he is destroyed froever.}}
{OOC: If you want the plot to be destroyed perminantly, that's fine, but we DISCUSS IT FIRST. We're only supposed to end the plot, not annihalate it completely, it was never resolved.}
(OOC: YOU FREAKIN' KILLED PLOTMAN!)
{Suddenly, the universe rumbles.)
CHWOKA: What's going on? Is the universe getting destroyed agai-{noticies Plotman's corpse} ...this is bad, right?
VANHOCK: Yeah.
CHWOKA: Crap. Strong Sader, get the Time Train and get everyone on it. NOW.
VOICE: Way ahead of you!
{Suddenly there's three sonic booms and Altkul comes from the alternate universe}
ALTKUL: Ah, trains and time travel. The best things in the world.
CHWOKA: Who in the world are you? (Remember, Alt Chwoka altered the timeline so that the Alts never visited.)
{RUMBLE}
CHWOKA: NEVERMIND, EVERYBODY IN!
{OOC: Altkul is different because of the emergency plot change. And the voice never WAS confirmed to be Altkul, indeed, Altkul appeared after the voice sounded.}
ALTKUL: Oh. Why am I here? Never mind. ALL ABOARD! This place is coming down!
ALT HOMESTAR: Oh man. I am so glad to see you. And also a little mad. I had hoped I would only see the serious one from now on.
EKUL: Whoa. A doppleganger who drives a time traveling train. Excellent.
{Ekul jumps on and so does Alt Homestar. The rest of the cast joins them, and the train departs. Seconds later Jerxie emerges from the jar.}
JERXIE: Alright, idiots! Prepare to... {Notices the decay of the universe.} Aww cr- {Ceases to exist along with the rest of the universe. However as he fades away, Darkul separates from Jerxie and follows the train. He possesses a chair in the back row.}
{OOC: I think Darkul should survive since his plot really hasn't begun...}
{The train runs a head, bearly staying in existance before entering the time vortex. Cut to the driving cabin.}
ALT SADER: {Posh English accent} There! Spiffing, we should be in a new universe in about two hours!
EKUL: We left the regular Homestar characters there...
ALTKUL: Don't worry. Your odd versions of the characters will be in the next universe...
ALT SADER: Alright gents, time for a discussion! ALL PEOPLE FROM OUR UNIVERSE TO THE HIND CAB!
{The alternates go to the back cabin for a meeting. They are heard screaming.}
EKUL: ...what was that?
{Altkul starts to turn into Darkul}
ALTKUL: {Laughs maniacally} Now my alternate form and I are one!
{The other alts were lying out cold on the floor, having been ambushed.}
{Alt Vanhock hits Darltkul over the head with a brick, knocking him out.}
ALT VANHOCK: Nobody messes with my universe.
CHWOKA: How'd you do that?
ALT VANHOCK: Gag reflex strengthened by a running gag.
{Cut to Noxigar behind Alt Vanhock with a turret rifle. He is in Xigbar form. Noxigar attempts to shoot Alt Vanhock in the head.}
{Homsardude comes in}
HOMSARDUDE: Hey guys, what I miss?
NOXIGAR: Well, you would've missed me blasting Alt Vanhock to smithereens and then me saying, "Nworb Enaj Yeslek". You're too early for that. And, it won't happen for now.
EKUL: Oh, you didn't miss anything. Minor stuff like the universe being reconstructed...
{Alt Homestar looks around}
ALT HOMESTAR: Well, once again, trouble at the the hands of your form in my world.
EKUL: Uh, yeah...
ALT HOMESTAR: What was that other penguin guy...?
{Ekul goes over to Altkul and connects minds long enough to take Darkul back to his prison}
EKUL: Nothing. Don't worry about it.
NOXIGAR: Yeah, listen to Ekul. By the way, I have a Burger King to go and eat at. Some person named Eleanor requested my assistance. I'm like the Ghostbusters! I wonder what she wants...
{Noxigar walks offscreen. "OOC: Noxigar is an anti-hero much like E-102 Gamma and E-123 Omega from the Sonic the Hedgehog series."}
(OOC: Who? Also, who the heck is Xigbar? Also, didn't you read The last part of Episode 24 and the beginning of this one? There's no simulation. H*R is the real world.)
CHWOKA: So, uh, anyway...
{RUMBLE}
{The regular Wikihood members begin to phase (and no, no gizmo stabilizer thing can save us. T%his is leading into act 2.)}'
CHWOKA: Oh no. We JUST got the universe back! And now we're fading away! Apparently everything from the universe we came from is going away...
EKUL: What the? If you destroy a hen, the chick doesn't go away. So why are we going away!?
{Cut to Noxigar near Bubs' Concession Stand. Bubs is there.}
NOXIGAR: Hey, Bubs.
BUBS: Where's my money?!
NOXIGAR: Yeah, yeah, I got it. Stop being a frickin' Moneybags and just be yourself.
BUBS: Hey, don't you tell me what to do! I like my money! {Bubs takes out a 5-dollar bill and hugs it.}
NOXIGAR: Uh... I was hoping to make Homestariness outta this.
BUBS: Sure, whatever. Let's get back to scripting.
{OOC: Bubs is supposed to be neutral. And Moneybags is from the original Spyro the Dragon games, and Moneybags is just as money-hungry as Bubs. The difference is that Bubs isn't a bear. And gems aren't cash in Wikihood, so I can't have Noxigar pay Bubs in gems... :P}
NOXIGAR: Uh... Bubs?
{Pan to Bubs slowly fading away.}
BUBS: I'm fading! What's going on?!
{Pan to Noxigar, who is also fading away.}
{cut to the train}
ALT CHWOKA: We're HERE!
{Regular Chwoka falls on the ground, clutching his gut.}
ALT CHWOKA: Hey, you look like Darlon and Alt Darlon started fading into nonexistance!
CHWOKA: Thanks alot...for those...encouraging words.
{Numerous other Wiki users fall to the ground in pain.}
OTHER CHARACTER: It's getting too late to survive! {falls to the ground.}
VANHOCK: AAAAAARRRRGH!
ALT VANHOCK: Oh, this is bad.
{Chwoka, first to fall, disappears.}
ALT DARLON: This is REALLY bad.
{Cut outside. The train lands in the alternate universe.}
[edit] Act II: Danger, Will Robinson, DANGER!
{Cut back to the Wikihood universe.}
SETTINGDUDE: Um...this is bad...
{The train reappears, running over Settingdude and killing him. The alts climb out.}
ALT DARLON: Alright, where is he? Whoever killed this plotman, speak up!
ALT VANHOCK: Well, seeing as there's one person remaining, that person must have killed Plotman! And that person is settingdude!
ALT CHWOKA: Nevermind how flawed that logic is. It's probably true. Besides, we just killed him.
{RUMBLE}
ALT DARLON: LET'S GET OUT OF HERE!
ALTKUL: Now the universe, not just the characters died! Way to go!
{Altkul jumps inside}
ALTKUL: Activating shields! Jump in before you get trapped!
{The alts climb inside quickly, and blast off right before the universe is erased. Cut to a gray space. A small, blue, flying orb of psychic energy appears.}
BLUE ORB: Huh? Where am I?
VOICE: Welcome to non-existance, Chwoka.
{A green orb appears (Vanhock)}
CHWOKA: Why haven't we reappeared yet through some contrived plot device?
VOICE: Because I didn't feel like recreating the universe AGAIN just so you could wreck it.
{A whole bunch of orbs appear.}
STRONG BAD: Where the crap are we?
{An orb that has mismatched green and blue fading into each other speaks up as Ekul}
EKUL: What will happen to us?
VOICE: Plead your case. If I don't think your universe is worthy of being recreated, I will put you in a new universe in new bodies with no memories.
{A brown orb speaks up}
BROWN ORB: Guys, we have to brainstrom!
COACH Z: And who are you that we should listen to?
BROWN ORB: I'm...the stick!
{Everyone gasps.}
HOMESTAR: That's amazing!
(OOC: No accents here)
{A yellow and brown orb speaks up (Kyves)}
KYVES: So you were alive all along and we didn't know it? Awesome. If paper existed, I'd get your autograph. Anyway, What kind of brainstorm could get us out of this mess?
VOICE: Just try and think about all the reasons why I should recreate your universe again!
CHWOKA: Umm...we WON'T destroy it again?
DARLON: Pfft. Yeah right.
VOICE: Pfft. Yeah right.
NIVED (A PURPLISH ORB): You can create it so that certain people suffer randomly for your enjoyment
VOICE: Are you assuming I'm sadistic?
NIVED: Not necessarily, but we caused you a lot of pain, surely you want to get back at us?
EKUL: Not everyone is like you, Nived.
STRONG BAD: Knives? Where?!
VOICE: Yeah, no. I'm gonna take a nap, and whne I come back, you better have good reasons or I'll make a new universe from scratch JUST for you.
VANHOCK: NOOOOO!
EKUL: Hmm... What could we do to pursuade a disgruntled entity to spend hard work on a universe he knows will destroy itself and beg to be rebuilt?
STRONG BAD: I don't understand the transaction that's taking place.
{YAWN}
CHWOKA: HE'S WAKING UP!
{various mumbles are heard.}
VOICE: ENOUGH! My nappy-nap is over, and it's time to plead you case.
VANHOCK: Yeah, um, we didn't even come up with anything.
VOICE: Are you THAT lacking in motivation?
{short pause}
STICK: Yes.
VOICE: Fine then...I shall make a challenge. You must beat me at Sonic the Hedgehog for the Genesis! Who shall play?
{A large, bright, white orb appears.}
CHWOKA: I know! NOXIGAR! He loves sonic and that crud.
NOXIGAR: Alrighty. Which zone? I'll go against your selected character. I'm an Organization XIII member, the last one left. Make that zone be part of the simulation, too!
VOICE: Um, what simulation? Anyway, if you're talking about the universe, then I'll give you access to it in your own non-canon episode. (OOC: Pretend like you don't know what this means). The zone is Green Hill Zone.
{A old late 80s TV appears, along with a couch. A genesis appears, and the voice slams in a Sonic the Hedgehog cartridge.}
NOXIGAR: Aha. Green Hill Zone will then be part of the new universe then... {Noxigar turns to the other peoples, them still being orbs.} Wish me luck, guys! I'm goin' in! Xemnas, this is for you.
{Noxigar enters the Sega Genesis and becomes part of the game for the duration of the challenge.}
NOXIGAR: Show me what ya got, ya pansy!
(OOC: PSYCHIC orbs. You don't need fingers to press these buttons!)
(OOC: Noxigar enters the Genesis to fend off Sonic the Hedgehog/The Iblis Trigger)
{The voice boots up the Genesis and finsihes Act 1 in 17 seconds flat.}
VOICE: Oh, we're doing Time Trial.
NOXIGAR: 'Kay then.
{Noxigar finishes Act 1 in 17 seconds as well. However, he uses acrobatics to do it and accidentally lands in the giant ring. In the special stage, Noxigar gets a Light Blue Chaos Emerald and keeps it in his pocket, finishing the special stage in 25 seconds flat. Cut to the psychic orbs}
STRONG BAD: Why did we trust Noxigar? How can he possibly pull this off?
BUBS: At least he's brave. That's all we can afford at the moment.
{OOC: Have the orbs reply to each of the 3 Acts}
{A dark orb that seems to suck the light away from around it floats onscren.}
DARK ORB: It's Apoc. I don't like being an orb. I wanna be a person! I WANNA HAVE MY OWN FAD!
BUBS: We're trusting Noxigar to beat a Sonic game against some mysterious voice that seems to be a hardcore gamer. He just got in the Genesis.
{OOC: Follow teh plotz0rz.}
{Noxigar finishes Act 2 in 30 seconds through use of jumping on platforms swiftly. He does not land on the giant ring this time.}
VOICE: Well, Apoc, too bad. In this non-universe, you lose any special abilities. Nothing xcan change that. Ok...
{The voice finds a secret shortcut under a hill and finishes Act 2 in 20.31 seconds.}
VOICE: Ha!
CHWOKA: No! Noxigar, go go go!
{Noxigar finishes Act 3 in 27.33 seconds by KO'ing the boss once and acrobatting. The capsule is also destroyed.}
NOXIGAR: Let's hope that's enough to stop that mysterious voice. I serve only the Frozen Throne at your nearby Dairy Queen.
{Cut to the orbs}
STRONG BAD: He has to wait for the voice to do his time trial.
BUBS: I recognize that voice a little... is that Strong Sad's voice?
STRONG SAD: No, guys, I'm right here.
STRONG BAD: I think that is Strong Sad!
{Rocky music plays.}
VOICE: Let's go!
{You hear various sonic sound effects while various group zoom-ins showing their shocked absence of faces to accompany drum beats. The final slide is the white orb infront of the TV. Sonic "Game Over" noises are heard.}
VOICE: Noooooooooo!
{Cut to the H*R universe. Suddenly, Everyone blips in.}
CHWOKA: We did it! {Dora the Explorer end adventure "We Did It Song begins to play. Everyone's head explodes.}
(OOC: End Act II popcorn)
{END OF ACT TWO. -ERIC}
[edit] Act III: Future-Alternate-Reverse-Trans-Opposite-Dashword
{Cut to Noxigar. He is holding a Mr. Pibb Root Beer bottle.}
NOXIGAR: NWORB ENAJ YESLEK!
{Cut to the The Cheat, Strong Mad, and Strong Bad. The Cheat makes inquisitive noises}
STRONG BAD: The Cheat? You're telling me that what he's saying is merely backwards for something else?
{The Cheat makes answer noises}
STRONG BAD: Oh. You only assume that's your answer. Okay.
{Noxigar gets out his emerald-studded staff, attaches the Light Blue Chaos Emerald onto the top tip of the staff, and summons a huge army of Flying Tacos. They're zerg-like, however.}
NOXIGAR: Let's make my Zerg army to take on the Combine!
{OOC: Zerg vs. Combine. What fun!}
{Record scratches. Chwoka's movements are rather exagerated.}
CHWOKA: Look, NO. {waving his arms around franticly} NO NO NO AND MR. NO. I AM TIRED OF THESE HALF-LIFE/STARCRAFT OR WHATEVER REFERENCES IN THIS PLANE-I mean, script...POINT IS, I don't even know what you're talking about when you start talking about that! The Combine doesn't even fit in the script! It's just jammed in there! {becomes pale and woozy.} ARGHBLBLBLBL...ugh...I don't feel so good...{faints.}
{Cut to the basement, through Chwoka's eyes. He wakes up.}
CHWOKA: Ugh, where am I?
STRONG BAD: He's up!
CHWOKA: Huh?
STRONG BAD: You were out for about 2 hours, man.
CHWOKA: Why do I feel so cold?
STRONG BAD: I stuffed you in a ice chest.
CHWOKA: What kind of person are you to do that? For that matter...who are you?
{DUN DUN DUN. Cut to the third-person view again. Chwoka is a blob with eyes.}
STRONG BAD: Oh, man, he's got amnesia! Strong Mad, I TOLD you you shouldn't have punched him to get him to wake up!
STRONG MAD: {off-screen, sadly} Grah...
{Pan to Noxigar, who is also unconscious. Several flying tacos guard Noxigar as the Cheat makes several question noises}
STRONG BAD: Leave Noxigar be, the Cheat. He doesn't have amnesia. He's just knocked out cold from that brick Chwoka threw at him from 500 yards. Poor guy's gonna be unconscious in the next 24 hours. {OOC: Flying tacos are now led by The Cheat.}
ERIC: {Comes from the left, upside-down on a device like 2015 George McFly's on Back to the Future Part II} Hey guys.
THE CODE: How'd you do that?
ERIC: How'd I did what.
THE CODE: Hurt your back.
ERIC: Oh that?
THE CODE: Yes, that.
ERIC: It was on the golf course.
THE CODE: We don't have a golf course.
ERIC: HECK, LET ME AT LEAST QUOTE MY FAVORITE MOVIE!
THE CODE: Which one?
ERIC: You know which one.
THE CODE: Cars?
ERIC: Back to the Future.
THE CODE: Which one?
ERIC: All three.
THE CODE: All three?
ERIC: YES, ALL THREE, NOW SHUT UP!
{Cut to ApocalypX in a jail.}
APOC: {close up on eyes.} Mmmm... great. They got me.
{Pan left to show Homestar.}
HOMESTAR: Who? The Combine?
{Pan 2 rights to show X-Bot.}
X-BOT: I-i-i-i-i-
{X-Bot explodes.}
APOC: Woohoo, he's been killed off!
{Cut to the field. Chwoka (still a blob) is slithering around.}
CHWOKA: Hello?
{The Cheat makes several commanding noises and the flying tacos secure every possible exit.}
STRONG BAD: The Cheat, what are you doing?
{The Cheat answers with more noises}
STRONG BAD: Aha! So we're encasing the Combine's leader in our own imprisonment. Too bad our pantry's full of potatoes or we could imprison him there.
{The Cheat spots Noxigar's Light Blue Chaos Emerald and snatches it. The Cheat shows to Strong Bad, using explaining noises}
STRONG BAD: That's a Chaos Emerald, huh? I was wonderin' how Noxigar kicked that Voice's butt in that video game.
{The Cheat makes some sort of statement noise}
STRONG BAD: There's 6 more, huh? And you saw somethin' shiny under Strong Sad's bed? That's peculiar. Nothin' shiny has ever been under Strong Sad's bed. Just dust bunnies and ol' Shakespeare books.
{Ekul approaches Chwoka.}
EKUL: Sorry about not being here, I just... went unconscious. Here, I can make you solid!
{Ekul freezes Chwoka}
EKUL: Er... whoops.
{Ekul melts him, then scoops him into a bottle.}
EKUL: There you go!
{Kyves walks up to The Cheat.}
KYVES: So you want to find the thing under Strong Sad's bed, eh?
{The Cheat makes confirming noises, almost as if saying, "Yes". The Cheat then shows Kyves the Light Blue Chaos Emerald.}
KYVES: Hmm, my power is magnetism. With luck... I could turn it into a compass.
{The Cheat then smiles, his gold tooth shining. The Cheat then sees Noxigar still being unconscious and he hands the Light Blue Chaos Emerald over to Kyves. The Cheat makes noises asking to use the Chaos Emerald as a compass.}
STRONG BAD: Hey, the Cheat! I'll search for the other 5 Chaos Emeralds while you and Kyves look under Strong Sad's bedroom. I'm thinking one's in some weird doctor's lava shelter.
{Strong Bad walks offscreen}
KYVES: Oh, crap. It's not there. This is a solid gold bar. Wait, why am I saying Oh crap?
{Kyves picks it up magnetically and puts something else in its place, a piece of wood painted gold.}
KYVES: Heh. A pirate's life for me.
{The Cheat makes noises indicating the Light Blue Chaos Emerald glowing. Cut to Strong Bad in Lava Shelter, spotting an Orange Chaos Emerald. He obtains it, but notices the magma rising up. Strong Bad sees several rails and skates on them towards an exit. Strong Bad gets out, landing in Homestar's house.}
STRONG BAD: Good thing I'm outta that weird guy's fortress. Wait, I'm in Homestar's house! This is much worse!
{Homestar kicks Strong Bad out of the house. Strong Bad is somehow warped back to the basement.}
KYVES: There's nothing here. I'm going to...
{Kyves grabs the Chaos emerald}
KYVES: STEAL THE STOLEN OBJECT! YOINK!
{Kyves runs away. Strong Bad chases after him.}
STRONG BAD: Hey, cut that out! {Strong Bad kicks Kyves in the skull, making him drop the Orange Chaos Emerald.}
{The Cheat makes complaining noises}
STRONG BAD: The Cheat, don't you see he's trying to steal what we stole?
{The Cheat makes anger noises}
STRONG BAD: He's on our side?! {towards Kyves} Oh crap. Sorry, man. You might want to not make any mistakes. We only have 2 Chaos Emeralds and we need the other 5.
KYVES: Let's try to lay low for a while before getting the others...
STRONG BAD: Sure, why not? Noxigar's gonna wake up in 24 hours, and it only took us 15 minutes to get 2 Chaos Emeralds. And here's the Orange Chaos Emerald. {Strong Bad hands the Orange Chaos Emerald to Kyves.}
{Strong Sad walks onscreen with a guilty look on his face}
STRONG SAD: Those Chaos Emeralds are much harder to find than the First Decemberween and the Yello Dello combined! I looked around in the neighborhood to find none around.
STRONG BAD: That's too bad. Wait, where the crap is Pom Pom? He hasn't appeared yet!
{OOC: Eric's starting Ep26. Who knows? He'll do something.}
{OOC: Okay. Well, just keep this goin' 'till all 7 Chaos Emeralds are found. And give Pom Pom some sort of purpose.}
{Cut to the stick. The sky darkens as a red and black portal slowly opens up. A black, X-shaped object falls to the ground, followed by two eyes and a mouth. The four objects catch on fire.}
FLAMING X: Ugh...where am I?
{Another X (also with eyes and a mouth) exits the portal. This one is shrouded by dark energy. The portal fades away, and the sky slowly returns to normal.}
DARK X: What is this? Why am I in the wrong location? {scans surroundings} {monotone voice} LIFE FORMS DETECTED. {normally} Maybe I can use one of them to find my way out of this strange place. {heads on in the direction of Strong Bad, Kyves, Strong Sad, and The Cheat}
(OOC: Noxigar, WTF mate. This is "Wikihood Game" not "Force plot to be about chaos emeralds while making sure atleast 1 character has his/her name substituted for Sonic game".)
{A giant voice (not the one in non-existence) screams "MOD POWAHS!" and the chaos emeralds are all wiped along with anything to do with the quest. Cut to Chwoka, who finally unfreezes.}
CHWOKA: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! {jumps out.} WHERE AM I? WHO IS EVERYONE? WHERE AM I? ARGHBLBLBLBLBL.
{Cut to Other Character. A shadowy figure creeps up behind him.}
SHADOWY FIGURE: 'Sup. I'm here to kill you, fulfilling the prophecy.
OTHER CHARACTER: That's nice. {gets stabbed, and falls to the ground, dead. He regenerates like a video game character. He yawns.}
{Cut to Alt Noxigar, who is standing behind Chwoka, armed with a turret rifle}
ALT NOXIGAR: Your godmodding idiocy ends here to save the future. Nodoby messes with MY plot enhancement!
{Alt Noxigar shoots Chwoka until he dies}
ALT NOXIGAR: Now how do I restore that plot to satisfy everything else? Now that Chwoka is dead, godmodding can no longer happen when it's him. My non-alternate self is unconscious for the remaining 23 hours, so how do I get those Chaos Emeralds to erase this plot to lend Eric a hand at that reboot episode?
{OOC: Lesson 1 in not being a complete idiot, Chwoka. DO NOT BREAK THE 4th WALL!}
{Alt Noxigar repairs the 4th wall and erases the "MOD POWAHS!" scene from existence. The Chaos Emeralds are still there, but the quest takes longer.}
ALT NOXIGAR: There we go. Now I'll let Apocafiftydollarpizza take care of this.
{Alt Noxigar runs back to the dimension train. Cut to a dark cult headed for the basement. They seek Noxigar.}
CULTIST 1: Behold! The Dark Tyrant! He layeth asleep according to the prophecy.
CULTIST 2: Are ye sure this is what we seeketh?
CULTIST 1: The prophecy speaks that when the Dark Tyrant wakes up, he shalt yell, "NWORB ENAJ YESLEK!"
CULTIST 2: Uh... when's that gonna happen.
CULTIST 1: In the next 23 hours.
CULTIST 3: That's gonna be a long wait for the prophecy.
{Cut back to Dark X. He sneaks behind a rock, and looks up, seeing Strong Sad's head.}
DARK X: Perfect.
{Dark X rushes into Strong Sad's ear so fast, he seems like one huge blur. Strong Sad falls over, and he begins to be surrounded by a dark glow. Cut back to Ekul and Chwoka, who has now began to regain his original form. They come across Strong Sader.}
ORANGE ORB: Hey guys. I've just come back from my soul-searching-groove-get-backing-monstersavingfromaravinousprincess-venture. So what's new?
EKUL: Oh, you know. Someone wants some wierd chaoid emerald things and... wait, why are you an orb?
STRONG SADER: WHAT!? {Examines himself} Oh yes, so I am. I don't know. {OOC: That was informative!}
EKUL: Anyway, as I was saying, some X things fell in and before that, Noxigar beat an entity at a video game.
DOCTOR MCDOCTOR: I'M HERE TO SAVE THE DAY!
{The Flaming X warps in, hovering slightly over the others. He notices Ekul.}
FLAMING X: You look firmiliar...
DOCTOR MCDOCTOR: Oh my GOSH! THAT INNOCENT BYSTANDER IS ON FIRE! I MUST SAVE HIM! {Throws a bucket of doner blood over Flaming X, his flames go out.}
{The Flaming X seems to power down, and lights himself on fire.}
FLAMING X: I'm supposed to be on fire. It's all that keeps me powered.
EKUL: Calm down, Doc, Calm down. I haven't come into contact with many Xs
DOCTOR MCDOCTOR: I've been a Doctor for twenty years, I think I'd know when people need rescuing.
EKUL: Shut up, you just had heart attack awhile ago. You need to lie down.
{Doctor McDoctor turns around, farts loudly in Ekul's direction and keels over, dead.}
EKUL: That was unnecessary. Both your death and your impoliteness.
{Doctor McDoctor's corpse releases a small fart.}
STRONG SADER: That's just... Stupid and wrong...
FLAMING X: Wait a minute... {remembers seeing Ekul in HomestaRPG} Ekul?
PLOTMAN: Plot. {"I have returned from the dead due to the unplotful nature of most of this scene."}
FLAMING X: Um... {points at Plotman with a stick} Who the crap is this guy?
{Cut to an unknown location. A sillouette of Homsar is seen watching everything through a console.}
SILLOUETTE: Heh heh heh... it's all falling into place...
{Fade to black... end Act 3}
[edit] Act IV: Aftermath of Nothing II
{Fade to the Combine Panzer Elite behind a podium on a stand, in front of a building thrashed by Headcrab Canisters as a few elites are infront and below him. They are firing at citizens running away. Akira Yamaoka's Promise (Reprise) (a link will come) is playing. Everything is in slowmotion. Dramatic angles are used. Some citizens try to fight back but are killed. One soldier is shot down. No soldier helps him as he is seen calling for help. (Yet there is no sound). He dies a bloody death like the citizens. A soldier looks down to his distraught, shoots the soldier on the ground (to end his agony) and continues firing at the citizens. Cut to the Panzer Elite. Blood splats at him, as he blocks it. Fade out and fade in (quickly) to see him recover, blood on his mask and upper body armor. He looks at the camera, pulls out a sword and jumps into the fray. Cut to an overview of the area. There are dead citizens everywhere. Screen closes. Zoom out slowly to reveal that it is all on TV.}
VOICEOVER: Half-Life: The Movie. Coming Soon.
{Cut to show that Ekul, Chwoka and Strong Sader are watching television. Suddenly a dying Homestar-like creature matterialises before them.}
EKUL: Oh my! DOCTOR MCDOCTOR!
{The Doctor appears}
EKUL: He's dying!
DOCTOR MCDOCTOR: I'm on the case! {Draws an axe and levels it above the creature.}
{Noxigar wakes up to find no Chaos Emeralds nearby.}
NOXIGAR: Guys, what the heck happened?
{OOC: Alt Noxigar recovered the Chaos Emeralds, but kileld Chwoka first. DO NOT ERASE THEM AGAIN. They're needed to lend a hand at the parody battle, given the enemy has a huge amount of HP, and they're needed for the ending where this plot is erased and Eric can start Episode 26 in reboot formation. Again, read this before editing.}
{OOC: There's always more than one way to do things: There's the cheap way, and the fair way.}
EKUL: Uh, Doc? What are you doing?
DOCTOR MCDOCTOR: He has Flicktileucrosis! I HAVE TO AMPUTATE HIS FEEEEEEEEEEEET!
EKUL: I think you need to see a psychiatrists. Do you have any psychiatric co-workers?
MENTAL HEALTHERSON: That seemed like a segway! Hello, I'm Mental Healtherson, I work with Doctor McDoctor.
STRONG SADER: Well that was... conveniant...
EKUL: Uh, Dr. Healtherson, suddenly Doc seems all... sadistic...
DR HEALTHERSON: Alright Doctor, you don't want to do this. Put down the axe.
DOCTOR MCDOCTOR: DEVIL CHILD! {Hacks off Dr. Healtherson's head, sits on his beheaded corpse and lets off a loud, wet-sounding fart.}
{White fadey thing. You all know what goes here.}
PLOTMAN: Plot plot plotplotplot, plot, plot plot!
TRANSLATOR: "I've had enough, time to rewind!"
{Plotman presses a button on a remote and everything rewinds. He types on a keyboard, and then fast forwards. The scene is considerably altered. End white fade.}
CHWOKA: {sips his root beer.} So, uh...I've been thinking.
{A giant robot crushes half of the house, the TV and Strong Sader. Strong Bad walks downstairs.}
CHWOKA: It's not what it-
STRONG BAD: WHAT HAPPENED TO MY BASEMENT! These boxing gloves aren't just for show...
{Pan up as various pounding sounds are heard. Alt Vanhock and Alt Chwoka are at the controls}
ALT VANHOCK: Remember that time our future selves restored our memories before the time wipe?
ALT CHWOKA: Totally. Hey, Ekul, how are the giant cannons coming along?
{Cut to inside the robot's arm. Altkul is in there.}
ALTKUL: Beyond optimal percentages! The beam is using its Logic Defier to reach power levels OVER 9000!
{Cut to the control center.}
ALT CHWOKA: EXCELLENT! {air guitar} Firing in 5...4...3...
ALT VANHOCK: Firing at what?
ALT CHWOKA: WHO CARES? {Presses a large blue button.}
ALT DARLON: {off-screen} Um, I think that was the "Destroy arms" button. Because that's what it's saying over here.
{Cut outside. The robot's arms fall of and crush more of the house. Cut inside. Ekul, Chwoka, and Sttrong Bad are sitting around a table having tea.}
STRONG BAD: Oh, so THAT's what happened. Thanks for the tea.
CHWOKA: No prob-{is crushed by the arm. He reforms.}-Ummm, first the feet, now the arms? What the heck? What's next, Kamikaze Watermelons?
{Do-do-do-do-do!}
KAMIKAZE WATERMELON: Wheee! {splat}
{Altkul climbs out of the arm}
ALTKUL: Good news guys! The arms that were going to shoot very powerful blasts are now going to selfdestruct up with the force of a 99 exaton bomb! Have a nice doomsday!
STRONG SADER: {Ghost, having tea with the others} That's nice.
{The Homestar-like creature materializes in the same state as he was when he initially appeared.}
{Everyone who's still material runs away. Cut to a silhouette of the scene, with everyone running away from the arms. Cut to various tension making scenes. A small explosion happens, accompanied by a "p-dink" sound.}
ALTKUL: Did I say Exaton? I meant Yoctaton. Those are smaller than electrons.
{The robot arms disappear. Alt Chwoka falls from the sky and lands on his face.
ALT CHWOKA: So, is the area clear?
ALTKUL: Looks like it! Hey look, a creature thing that's dying is still here, let's preform experiments on it!
{Suddenly Ekul begins to shake.}
EKUL: W-what's happening!?
{A dark figure appears}
FIGURE: Penguin, I detect a vampire in you. I'm from the future, sent to destroy you before you become one!
EKUL: What?!?
FIGURE: Die!
{The figure dives at Ekul and both dissapear into a black mist}
ALTKUL: Oh dear, that looks like a predicament
{OOC:I'm writing Ekul out for a week. Chwoka is allowed to use Altkul if it is absolutely necessary. Kyves is to remain unused.}
{Cut to Alt Noxigar on the time train, sipping Mr. Pibb, reading a newspaper, and having Pap John's pizza}
ALT NOXIGAR: A newsflash states that some house asploded. I wonder what the fuss is about... oh well. By going to the past and obtaining the Chaos Emeralds myself, I've prevented the search from happening.
{OOC: The time fix that Alt Noxigar does is canon.}
ALT NOXIGAR: My non-alternate form still has them in the past because I later gave them to him. While he was unconscious, I was able to obtain 5 of them myself, and by altering time, I got the other 2 from Kyves and Strong Bad.
{Cut to Noxigar, who is watching all of this on a television himself. He then laughs menacingly. Plotman can be seen tied to a chair.}
NOXIGAR: Those imbeciles didn't realize I trapped them in my video game. When I play Shadow the Hedgehog's Expert Mode, they shall be seen and attacked by Shadow himself.
{OOC: DO NOT ATTACK THIS TIME LAPSE. You can add on to it, do not revert it. After all, that Voice played Sonic the Hedgehog for the freakin' Genesis.}
(OOC: Yeah, but that was just the video game. Nobody was actually in it, and you were the only active participant.)
'{Plotman bursts out and takes out his magic remote. He changes the channel to the Alt universe, then to regular Wikihood, where everyone is at the house. A message flashes: "Sorry. Technical difficulties. We accidently changed the channel so that you viewed a different universe that brached off at that exact moment. We now return to your regularly scheduled program"}
CHWOKA: That was very...VERY...odd.
{A figure approaches in a black cloak with red eyes. He smashes a brick over Chwoka's head and then Drags Other Character, Chwoka, Vanhock, and Darlon into a different universe. (OOC: Strong Sader, enforce w1.4 while I'm gone.) Noxigar sees the figure right before he closes the portal}
NOXIGAR: Who is he?
{A sphere of dark energy appears. Soon, Strong Sad emerges, controlled by Dark X.}
DARX SAD: {points at Noxigar} You! Tell me where I am.
NOXIGAR: Welcome to Wikihood!
DARX SAD: How do I get out?
NOXIGAR: I don't know the exit of this universe. However...
{Noxigar straps Darx Sad to a rocket headed towards outer space.}
NOXIGAR: Au revoir, sucker!
{Noxigar waves goodbye as the rocket Darx Sad is strapped to heads towards a satelite. Cut back to Noxigar, who is playing Shadow the Hedgehog.}
NOXIGAR: Now which zone shall we play? Ah, yes. How about Space Gadget? Today I feel like doing the Dark Mission.
{Noxigar turns on the PS2 and gets out a blue PS2 controller. Cut to space. Earth is covering most of the background.}
DARX SAD: This will have to do for now. {begins falling} You shall not defeat me, gravity!
{Dark X seperates from Strong Sad. Strong Sad falls as Dark X floats away. Fade to black as Strong Sad lands on the time train.}
{OOC: Ending Act IV. Act V begins.}
[edit] Act V: The Dark Tyrant
{Pan to a cave with several million cultists and an odd prophet carrying the characters captured from the previous cast.}
ODD PROPHET: Behold! Our sacrifices for the Dark Tyrant's next reincarnation, which shall come in the next 9 hours!
{OOC: Sorry, Chwoka, but the "bucket o' water" cliche shouldn't be fooling a Dark Tyrant cult.}
{Cut to one cultist amongst the crowd raising his hand. The cultist is Pom Pom in disguise.}
POM POM: {bubble noise}
ODD PROPHET: The mural up on this wall shows the future. The Dark Tyrant will save us all and recreate this universe.
POM POM: {laughing bubble noises}
ODD PROPHET: You don't believe me? Well, take a look for yourself. One mural shows this entire crowd being here, and it was made 2,000 years ago. That portion happens first.
POM POM: {bubble noises}
ODD PROPHET: Right to left, my friend. Right to left.
{Alt Noxigar sneakily walks onscreen, placing the 7 Chaos Emeralds near the unconscious Noxigar. Alt Noxigar then runs offscreen.}
ODD PROPHET: Our first sacrifice is this odd superhero who only says, "Plot!"
{Pan to Plotman tied to a totem pole. Two cultists surround him with torches and several peoples dance around the totem pole.}
ODD PROPHET: The 9th hour is up! Bring the first sacrifice!
{The totem pole Plotman is tied to moves over to a large pile of logs. One of the cultists lights the pile on fire. The totem pole is seen combusting into flames as soon as it touches the campfire, Plotman with it. Cut back to the Odd Prophet.}
ODD PROPHET: The second sacrifice! Behold!
{Cut to Vanhock tied to a differently styled totem pole. (OOC: Change character name if you don't want Vanhock to be sacrificed yet)}
{RUMBLE}
VANHOCK: YOU COMPLETE MORONS! DON'T YOU REMEMBER LAST TIME PLOTMAN WAS KILLED 5 MINUTES AGO? THE VOICE IS GONNA BE SO MAD!
{5 minutes later}
THE VOICE: Congratulations! Record time!
ODD PROPHET: Alas, it is exactly like the mural says. Continue the sacrificing; the Dark Tyrant's reincarnation will arise within the next 8 hours, and he will have all the 7 Chaos Emeralds surrounding him when he wakes, and he shall yell, "NWORB ENAJ YESLEK", just like the mural.
{Cut to the totem pole that Vanhock is tied to, moving slowly towards the campfire. As soon as the totem pole touches the campfire, it burns, turning into ashes, Vanhock with it. The cultists, all but Pom Pom, cheer on for more sacrificing.}
ODD PROPHET: The next sacrifice is this terrific athlete known as Homestar Runner!
{Pan to Homestar Runner tied to a similar-shaped totem pole to the previous ones.}
POM POM: {offscreen yelling bubble noises}
HOMESTAR: Pom Pom, get me outta this thing! I think they're trying to eat me! Hurry, quick!
{Pom Pom rushes towards Homestar's totem pole. As two cultists push one end of Homestar's totem pole, towards the campfire, Pom Pom pushes another end of the totem pole away from the campfire. The mural displays an image of this conflict occuring. The cultists cheer on, supporting the two cultists pushing the totem to its sacrificial campfire. Pom Pom can also be seen being tired out.}
{RUMBLE}'
{Various things disappear, including the mural}
THE VOICE: Well, uh, um...Yeah. You managed to NOT make the universe last more than about 35 minutes? What is it with you people's addiction to killing PlotMan?
{A giant voice, not the entity's, yells, "PLOT POINT!", and everything is rewound to Pom Pom's conflict. Alt Noxigar arrives, laughing as he casts a necromantic spell, reviving Plotman from the dead. Odd Prophet doesn't act surprised or shocked, aware that Plotman wasn't to be sacrificed.}
ALT NOXIGAR: Plotman is now an Undead Forsaken. Nothing can kill him now. I win.
{OOC: Undead Forsakens may be from WoW, but it is necessary for Plotman to be undead. It stops the rumbling and the erasing and the Bill Cosby talk.}
ODD CULTIST: Yeah, whatever. Bring forth more sacrifices for the Dark Tyrant! Only 7 and a half hours left!
{Chwoka and Darlon are tied to different totem poles, being pushed towards the campfire. Suddenly, a small fire's glow is seen. Pom Pom looks over, and sees the Flaming X, who enters the cave.}
FLAMING X: What in the name of Sir Dumplings is going on here?
CULTIST #1: Some fat guy's fighting some of us for Homestar Runner's life. We're sacrificing different characters to the Dark Tyrant, who shall arrive in 7 hours. Wanna help?
FLAMING X: Sure...I'll help stop you!
CULTIST #3: Then a fight ye shall have!
{Cultists #2 and 3 attack Flaming X with water buckets.}
CULTIST #2: I know what to do!
{Cultist #2 puts on one leather glove, grabs Flaming X, and throws him at Pom Pom. Pom Pom explodes, the totem pole Homestar being tied to caught within the blast is burned into ash, Homestar with it. The campfire grows larger.}
ODD PROPHET: Sacrifice #4!
{Darlon's totem pole now moves towards the spiritual campfire. (OOC: Change character if you don't want Darlon to be sacrificed yet) }
{Since the net on the computer I use is disabled for the moment... I have to put notes}
{Cut to a ravaged city. Eleanor with 4 Doom Guards, Etna with Lord X and the Combine Panzer Elite are in the Central Plaza. Words are said (will elaborate eventually), and a fight begins. (detail later)}
{The Combine Panzer is ravaged by the assault... but stands.}
ETNA: Now tell me... who is the Dark Tyrant?
COMBINE PANZER ELITE: Enigma...
ETNA: Enigma... my son... what a shock... You can stay here to die.
{Etna tries to fly away, but a shield is preventing escape. Pan up to show The Enigma, a ghostly figure with wings. (Aka... Apoc and Etna's child}
ENIGMA: It's to prevent an error in the system called the Universe... or in easier words... it's to protect us. Farewell...
{The Enigma dissipates}
ETNA: No...
{The CPE speedruns and grabs Eleanor, Etna and Lord X and grasps them.}
CPE: If I die... I'm taking you all with me!!!
{The CPE selfdestructs as a blue pulse wave is emitted to suffice for the explosion. The shield dissipates post-explosion and nothing is left.}
{Cut to places around with the Combine in armies... disappearing. Cut to outside the city the fight happened. 2 Combine are holding Chainsaw Guns.}
SOLDIER #1: Wow... I can't believe they gave us these neat guns.
SOLDIER #2: Yeah... invading pays off. That Gears of War planet paid off.
SOLDIER #1: They made a game about it?
{A swarm of Kryll attack Soldier #2.}
SOLDIER #1: What the crap?
{Phil (from Bonus Stage, and the only time I'm referencing) walks onscreen.}
PHIL: Who cares? This is a parody scene. Gears of War, Half-Life 2 and now...
{Phil pulls out a Deleter Gun.}
PHIL: Bonus Stage and Psycho Bonus Stage.
{Phil deletes the Soldier, but trips over the gun and in the air... the gun deletes Phil, and explodes when it lands. Cut back to (whereever) (OOC: It's not some stupid TV thing... it all happened... or the Combine are still there. I'll elaborate later. -ApocalypX}
{Cut back to the cave. A cult messenger, obviously wounded, runs onscreen}
MESSENGER: Sir! Our Enigma base is under seige! Some folks known as the Combine want the Dark Tyrant!
{The crowd of cultists stirs in awe. The odd prophet raises a staff of pure titanium.}
ODD PROPHET: Send half of us cultists to draw our swords and magic! We shall never surrender the Dark Tyrant's reincarnation! In the next 4 hours, the Dark Tyrant's host shall be possessed! And we shall triumph!
{Cut to one portion of the mural where what appears to be Noxigar using the 7 Chaos Emeralds to destroy the Combine. Cut back to Odd Prophet.}
ODD PROPHET: Alright. Now for us other half, we shall defend the Dark Tyrant's host! Put the others in that campfire for sacrificing!
{The totem poles Chwoka and Darlon are bound to immediately head towards the campfire, and dissipate when the totem poles touch the campfire. Nothing remains. Suddenly, the Flaming X lights on fire again. He is about to attack the Odd Prophet, when Strong Sad falls into the cave very quickly and while on fire. The time train runs both Flaming X and Strong Sad over. Alt Noxigar parks the time train and steps out.}
ALT NOXIGAR: Time's up! End scene! Oh, yeah. I forgot.
{Alt Noxigar uses his necromancy to revive Vanhock and Darlon from the dead as Undead Forsakens. (OOC: Chwoka, I'm sorry I killed them by mishap. Don't stoop to Super Sam's level of crappiness. PLEASE.) Pan to Chwoka in the alternate time train having tea with his alternate counterpart. Cut back to the cave. Noxigar suddenly wakes up with the 7 Chaos Emeralds surrounding him. Noxigar picks them up one by one in the following order: Purple, White, Orange, Light Blue, Red, Green, and Yellow.}
NOXIGAR: NWORB ENAJ YESLEK!
{OOC: End Act V. Act VI begin.}
[edit] Act VI: The Scythe is Eradicated
{Cut to space. Dark X is watching Act V on a floating screen.}
DARK X: Dark Tyrant? Hmm... Wait! Homestar? {pause} Of course! Maybe I can give this tyrant some help... by force! {begins laughing evilly}
{Cut to the field. The Cheat is marching flying tacos into a cave. It is the same cave the Dark Tyrant cult used. 5 flying tacos stand outside to defend the cave. (OOC: Apoc, if you please, let the fight begin. Also, I lead the Dark Tyrant cult under the illusion that I am the Dark Tyrant. If you want to have Enigma possess me, that's fine. Let's end this episode once and for all.) The Enigma appears near the cave. ApocalypX is summoned.} (OOC: lol - Chwoka)
{OOC: Thought this would be quick huh? You was right! Cookie for you!}
{ApocalypX jumps towards The Enigma, who dodges him easily, still battered after a fight not seen onscreen (Outside 4th Wall break!!!), the Enigma appears behind him and stabs him where the heart is. Apoc stops, falls to the ground, near death. (And now I'm dead. Hurrah). The Enigma laughs for a while.}
ENIGMA: You are dead.
APOC: Why did you do it?
ENIGMA: It's one of life's mysteries...
APOC: {shocked} WHAT? {grabs chest} Ahh! Stroke!
{Apoc suffers multiple strokes and dies. Cut back to the cave. Noxigar looks at the mural's final segment. The Chaos Emeralds surround him as he walks away from the mural in the same order collected.}
NOXIGAR: Alright. Let's end this.
{Noxigar turns into Hyper Noxigar, and then punches the universe's core, breaking it. The universe falls apart piece by piece. Fade to black.}
(OOC: The mural is gone, remember?}
{Cut to non-existance}
THE VOICE: You guys again?
CHWOKA: I hate Noxigar SO much right now.
NOXIGAR: Relax. Eric'll get that reboot episode up.
CHWOKA: Noxigar, why do you seem to have a special power to know things that you couldn't possibly know due to a time change?
NOXIGAR: I don't. We're in Strong Bad's computer.
{Zoom out to reveal Strong Bad's computer room. Homestar Runner is there, drinking Mountain Dew.}
HOMESTAR: Alright, let's check the emails for Strong Bad, then I pour Montain Dew on his Lappy for the 27th time. Oh, and by the way, I see you guys and I have them Chaos Emeralds. I looked up their locations on Wikipedia.
{Cut back to the inside of the Lappy. Noxigar is panicking, running in circles.}
NOXIGAR: We're doomed!
{A record scratches and Noxigar stops panicking and running.}
NOXIGAR: Wait. We're actually safe. Let's find a party place and eat some cake!
{Cut to Homestar. He types, "Store Chaos Emeralds in Lappy.exe". The Chaos Emeralds are then transported to the inside of the Lappy along with Noxigar and Chwoka.}
HOMESTAR: Let's end this show! I'm the director of it, so what I say goes! 1, 2, action!
{Noxigar becomes Hyper Noxigar and exits the Lappy into Strong Bad's computer room.}
HYPER NOXIGAR: Uh, what am I supposed to do?
HOMESTAR: Revert this entire plot back to Episode 1. We're rebooting. Eric's starting the reboot.
HYPER NOXIGAR: Oh yeah. CHAOS CONTROL!
{Hyper Noxigar uses the Chaos Emeralds to erase the entire plot, rewinding to Episode 1 slowly. Fade to black. Open to a room, Alt Strong Sader, the only alternate left within the continuity is there.}
ALT SADER: Where is everyone, what?
{Strong Sader larches out of the door, he is burned and scruffy.}
STRONG SADER: {Out of breath} The reboot... It... it... it killed them all... Eric... Chwoka, Homestar.... all of them...
{Strong Sader falls to the floor, dead.}
ALT SADER: {Shocked} Oh bad show...
{A dramatic music cue plays. Cut to black. Open to the same place but slightly later. Alt Noxigar arrives onscreen.}
ALT NOXIGAR: Hi, Alt Sader. How goes?
ALT SADER: Those alternate chaps... they're all dead... Apparently they foolishly attempted to destroy the storyline and were too lazy to simply tidy it up.
{A large portal opens up, and a dark, four-legged monster emerges. Cut to an alternate timeline, a few minutes earlier.}
DARK X: Hmm... it seems that Noxigar's meddling with the timeline has given me a perfect oppurtunity...
{Dark X rushes down to the field, and creates many small, dark orbs, which each take over a character. the controlled characters merge with Dark X, making Darx Ultima, the monster seen earlier. Cut back to the main timeline. Ekul tumbles back into the universe.}
EKUL: Ouch. You guys do NOT want to have a vampire inside you. I had to lock that guy in... well, no matter... Wait, the universe is destroyed again? Ah crap. Oh well, I guess I wasn't affected.
{OOC: WHAT!?!? ARGH! THIS IS JUST...ARGH! I WISH TO BAN YOU, BUT I CAN'T FIND A REASON TO! ARGH! Oh, and Noxigar, you can't delete this just because you don't like it.)
{A ghost of ApocalypX appears.}
APOCAGHOST: I can fix it all!
{All the alternates, Dark Tyrant cultists, Darx Ultima, Hypers disappear, the universe is put back together and is protected by an "Anti-Destruction" shield.}
APOCAGHOST: OHIO!!!
{The ghost flies away.}
{OOC: You didn't have to be that harsh, Chwoka. Anyways, does this mean my characters are written out of the plot?}
{OOC: No.}
{The Flaming X appears again.}
FLAMING X: Does this mean episodes 2 through most of 25 have no meaning?
EKUL: Nobody can agree on anything around here. Most of EVERY episode has no meaning. I'm tired and confused.
{Pan out to show it's on a TV. Homestar walks infront}
HOMESTAR: Tiwed and confused on disagweed plots? Try Panacea-plot! The plot to fix all!
{The fourth wall reappears in front of everybody. Cut to a secret room, Doctor McDoctor has the Homestar-like creature on a table. The doc's eyes glow red.}
DOCTOR MCDOCTOR: Now that those fools think I'm dead, I can get on with my mission without further interruption. This body is adiquit and trusted by the idiots out there. No-one suspects that I; Jerxie, am will bring the current order to an end, and build a new order, with blackjack and... pie? Oh well, I'll still laugh anyway. {Builds up a laugh and then breaks into manical laughter.}
{Fade out. Cut to Ekul, strange mixed up lights}
EKUL: Gah! I don't know what to turn to! So many people contradicting others... The timeline is muddled...
STRONG SADER: There's only one thing for it then: We'll have to go to a parallel universe and start the plot over, but we'll keep our memories of our past adventures so that the continuity doesn't go down the pan.
EKUL: We tried that, but you never know. Third times the charm. Or rather, 90th time.
MEEK SADER: {Parachutes in} Sorry I've been gone, I had to defeate Zork and his plans to the destroy the world, right up until he and his adopted daughter cought that terminal disease. Maybe someday I'll tell you guys the whole story.
{Strong Bad marches in}
STRONG BAD: What are you guys waiting for?!
{Strong Bad kicks the alternate universe machine}
EKUL: Don't do tha-
{A cow falls from the sky and crushes Strong Bad, although he is still alive.}
EKUL: Oh. Well, you deserved it.
HOMESTAR: Ooh! I want to try that!
STRONG BAD: Go ahead, it's perfectly safe... ack, my windpipe
{Homestar kicks it. A piano falls on him. And by him I mean Strong Bad}
STRONG BAD: OUCH! Never mind. Nobody else do that.
{Fade to black. Cut to ApocalypX's corpse.. pan to his face. His eyes open. Cut to black. End Act VI. Roll Act VII and 65535.}
[edit] Act VII: New Friend......or Foe?
{OOC: This is the act that I added as a cue in to Season 3. Enjoy!}
{Cut to a labratory. There is a teenage boy with scruffy looking hair typing at a keyboard. Homeschool Winner could be seen in the background.}
HOMESCHOOL: Cumen? Are you coming? A man's at the door, saying he's your father. Should we let him in?
CUMEN: No, Homeschool. Just tell them to go away.
HOMESCHOOL: Oh, alright.
{He heads to the door}
CUMEN: Wait! Homeschool......I have something to show you on the computer database. It's vitally important.
{Homeschool turns around, and comes by Cumen's side. A few pictures are seen on the monitor of Ekul, Noxigar, Apoc, Eric, and their friends}
CUMEN: Them. They are the ones I was telling you about.
HOMESCHOOL: {frowns} Are you sure they're fit for the job?
CUMEN: Yes. They destroyed the Leigon of Evil, Homeschool.
HOMESCHOOL: The Leigon of What?
CUMEN: Never mind. I'll explain it to you all later. Just start firing up "the machine"
{All the color seems to leave Homeschool's face}
HOMESCHOOL: "The Machine"? But Cumen, it's too dangerous. Are you sure?
CUMEN: Yes. Homeschool. We are going.......going to Wikihood.
{Cut to a small chamber, Strong Sader has amassed the regulare cast, Homestar and user characters.}
STRONG SADER: OK, I've built a new Simulator. When we get in, it's programmed to limit all plot lines down to just one. Our memories and mental state will remain the same, but our situation will be randomized.
BUBS: Is it safe? And more to the point; is it economically viable?
STRONG SADER: Shut up, and get in.
{All of the characters lock themselves into the new simulation chairs. The simulator activates, and they all slip into a trance. The three centeral members of the LoE, Darlon, Nived and Dark Sader peak in, they plug themselves in crudly as well. Fade out, cut to Act 65535.}
[edit] Act 65535: Bits and Bytes
{Cut to the Eric's room, everyone are on their simulation chairs. Eric is without his helmet and breaks free from the chairs. Noone ever notices anything}
ERIC: THIS IS INSANE! It's gettting off-plot! I'm fixing that NOW. {Gets his simulation chair and bashes the computer with it, being electrically shocked. Everything explodes to a "The end" screen and the credits.}
[edit] Credits
subject:wh2-creditsCastHomestar Runner...____________________...Himself
Strong Bad..._________________________...Himself
Bubs..._______________________________...Himself
Strong Sad..._________________________...Himself
Homsar..._____________________________...Himself
Blue Laser..._________________________...Himself
Chwoka..._____________________________...Himself
Darlon..._____________________________...Himself
Vanhock...____________________________...Himself
Ekul..._______________________________...Himself
Strong Sader..._______________________...Himself
Nived...______________________________...Himself
Eric..._______________________________...Himself
Dark Sader..._________________________...Himself
Doctor McDoctor...___________________...DonutBoy
Noxigar...____________________________...Himself
The Alternative Crew...____________...Themselves
PlotMan...____________________________...Himself
SettingDude...________________________...Himself
The G-Man...__________________________...Himself
ApocalypX...__________________________...Himself
Lord X..._____________________________...Himself
Etna..._______________________________...Herself
X-Bot 30K...__________________________...Himself
Eleanor...____________________________...Herself
Orbs...____________________________...Lightbulbs
The Combine Universal Union..._____...Themselves
...____________________________________...Itself
Universal Headmaster Homsar...________...Himself
Kyves...______________________________...Himself
XOnFire...____________________________...Himself
Dark X..._____________________________...Himself
Cumen...______________________________...Himself
Homeschool..._________________________...Himself
Dark Tyrant Cult...________________...Themselves
Pom Pom...____________________________...Himself
And more to come...CrewApocalypX...__________________________...Executive Producer
Strong Sader..._______________________...Executive Producer
Noxigar..._______________________________...Zerg Base Maker
More to come...
Wikihood2 Episode 25 - Viral Reckoning
[edit] Easter Eggs
[edit] Deleted Scenes
[edit] Fun Facts
[edit] Inside References
[edit] Real-World References
[edit] And Some Subheader from the HRWiki
[edit] External Links
IX1X7a Thanks, useful material I added your blog to my bookmarks!...