Wikihood 2/eps/22

From The Wikihood

22 Wikihood's Break-In

Synopsis

CAST (in order of appearence):

Transcript

{Open up to the future. Darlon is laughing maniacally}

DARLON: BRWHAHAHAHAHAHA! ...now what?

{Alt Future Vanhock appears with Past Ekul and Nived.}

ALT FUTURE VANHOCK: Hey, Darlon. We need you.

DARLON: Sure, why not. So as long as you bring me back to this exact time. {climbs in}

{Alternate Future Past Vanhock appears in a empty DeLorean.}

AFPV: Hey, you already got Darlon?

AFV: Yeah.

AFPV: Darn. I'll go get Ekul, then. {Both modified DeLoreans fly to their next destinations.}

{Cut back to the present real world. The Homestar Runner holograms are attacking the army of Apoc. Strong Mad throws a Strider, Strong Bad is getting beaten up}

STRONG BAD: I THOUGHT WE WERE OVER THIS RUNNING GAG! {Strong Bad sets on fire, and runs around screaming.}

PLOTMAN: Plot.

TRANSLATOR: He said if you have a problem, talk to Plotman's friend "Elementguy" who handles plot elements.

ELEMENTGUY: ANTIMONY! HYDROGEN! FERMIUM!

{Noxigar transports to the current area that Strong Bad's in.}

NOXIGAR: Hey, Strong Bad. The Chaos Emeralds are in Hidden Palace Zone, getting their power recharged. I blame the alternate episodes. However, if you want to hide in Hidden Palace Zone, of which Apoc and the Combine have no way to access it, then here's the portal.

{Noxigar creates a portal to Hidden Palace Zone.}

ALT CHWOKA: You know, since Chwoka came up with you, you don't exist. None of you.

{They all poof out of existance, but plot and setting and stuff all maintain somehow.}

ALT CHWOKA: Seriously, guys. I think I'm becoming too much like your Chwoka. I HAVE to go back in time to episode one!

{Noxigar transforms into Alt Noxigar}

ALT NOXIGAR: {angrily} WHY'D YOU DO THAT?! I WAS GONNA GET STRONG BAD TO A SAFE AREA!

{Strong Bad rushes in blindly, and burns the "chaos emeralds" to ash. He, then turns into ash and blows away in the wind with the ashes.}

ALT NOXIGAR: Great. Now Strong Bad's become arsonistic. I made illusions of them in case he did that. And there's air conditioning so SB doesn't burn. Too bad I didn't turn it on in time.

{Strong Sad with a dictionary walks in}

STRONG SAD: Arson is a building burner, not a pyro.

ALT CHWOKA: I wanna go home. But I HAVE to fix this dimention!

ALT NOXIGAR: Strong Sad, can you guard these Chaos Emeralds against Apoc and the Combine?

STRONG SAD: I'm sorry, immigrant, but I'd surely fail.

ALT NOXIGAR: Why would you fail? I placed them where noone other than myself could reach them. And they're recharging, so they're indestructible for now. All you have to do is guard the door. It's made of gold titanium.

{The Cheat comes in holding them}

STRONG SAD: Uh, apparently not.

{The Cheat comfirms their identity by portalling to another universe. Noxigar pursues The Cheat}

NOXIGAR: Give me back my Chaos Emeralds, you Trivial Pursuit cheese wedge!

{However, the place Noxigar had gone to was a sea of The Cheats. They all look at Noxigar.}

NOXIGAR: Which one of you is the real Slim Shady, I mean, The Cheat?! The one with the Chaos Emeralds has to be it! The real one is the Trivial Pursuit cheese wedge I referred to.

(OOC:WHAT!?)

(OOC: Use common sense. The one with the Chaos Emeralds in a sea of The Cheats has to be the real one. I want them Chaos Emeralds back, so I manipulate the situation at hand.)

{Suddenly, the dimension begins to crack. The The Cheat dimension breaks apart, shattering, starting with the Real The Cheat portalling, who inadvertantly causes the Chaos Emeralds to create a dimensional tear. Noxigar recovers them and places them in a bag. He then portals to Hidden Palace Zone.}

NOXIGAR: Phew. That was close. Ok, Strong Sad, you were saying?

AUSSIE: {rezzes in} Finally, I get telnet access back to this place.

{A loud explosion is heard. Cut to the Wikihood entrance.}

APOC: HAHA YES!

{ApocalypX runs in, followed by an army of Combine Soldiers, some guards, assassins and a few Ministriders (Hunters). Unbeknownst to the future counterparts, a robot army is sneaking up behind them.}

ROBOT COMMANDER: Halt! You are violating the master's territory!

SOMEONE ELSE: Who is this "Master"?

{The robots stand at attention.}

ROBOT COMMANDER: Behold your master...

{Strong Sader, looking older but still inhabited by Jerxie steps out.}

{OOC: We're in the future, right? Could someone fill me in the the plot details?}

{OOC: Actually, time's been altered by the alternate episodes.}

{Noxigar sighs and gets out a phone. It rings for 3 seconds.}

NOXIGAR: The Combine is invading Wikihood. I just hope Chwoka and Strong Sader can quit being paranoid. With the Chaos Emeralds recharging, all I can do is wait...

(OOC: Strong Sader's not acting paranoid, we're in the Alternate Ep. 1 affected present, not the future, and Chwoka doesn't exist.}

{OOC: Thanks for the info. Get some dialogue in here.}

NOXIGAR: Plotman, where is everyody? (OOC: I'll ask Plotman what the plot is so I actually know what to do.)

(OOC: Plotman's gone. Will made Plotman as a joke,but sinced he left before he made Plotman, he never existed, and neither did Settingdude and Elementguy (who, btw, is pretty stupid. Plotman handles plot elements))

(OOC: How am I supposed to know the plot athand without use of Chaos Emeralds?! )

NOXIGAR: Dangit. Plotman's not here! Oh well. Looks like I'm goin' to Bubs'.

{Noxigar walks to Bubs' Concession Stand.}

NOXIGAR: {yelling} Hello? Anyone there?

{Noxigar finds Bubs' Concession Stand empty and deserted. Cut to the Wikihood entrance.}

CBU: Wow, the Strider's aren't gonna fit.

{Cut back to Noxigar, who seems to be on the other side.}

NOXIGAR: Aha! So the Combine's reached the Field!

{Bubs can be seen in his Concession Stand with a defense system of a multitude of missile turrets.}

BUBS: No problem, Noxigar!

NOXIGAR: This is more fun than the Iblis Trigger, I mean, Sonic the Hedgehog!

{OOC: NO STARCRAFT REFERENCES. GOD. -.-}

{Cut to the right side of the field.}

APOC: Enable the SkyShield.

{A shield is created the endless numbers of the soldiers, as they march to Bubs'}

BUBS: Noxigar, use your Chaos Emeralds!

NOXIGAR: Not yet. They're still recharging in Hidden Palace Zone, which had Gold Titanium blockades so the Combine can't get in. I portal myself there to check their progress. Besides, I'm going to use my double-barreled shotgun and Xigbar form. After all, I've already killed 25% of their army that way.

{Noxigar transforms into Xigbar and gets out the double-barreled shotgun}

NOXIGAR: {yells so loud all characters can hear it} NWORB ENAJ YESLEK

{Noxigar shoots randomly at the Combine army. No soldier is hurt.}

APOC: Dude, {points up} SkyShield is up. Idiot.

{Apoc rushes up to Noxigar in less than a second.}

APOC: Boo.

{Apoc punches Noxigar multiple times then runs back at the same speed into the SkyShield.}

NOXIGAR: Crap.

{He wasn't requested.}

NOXIGAR: Grr... I need to find a way to get rid of that Sky Shield. Hey, I think that if it runs low on energy, which appears to decrease over time, then the weak Combine is vulnerable to my attacks! Genius!

BUBS: My turrets can stall it, by the way. I heard every word you said.

{Bubs activates his defense mechanism.}

NOXIGAR: I'm thinking the weapons are aimed at me. All I gotta do is run around.

{Noxigar runs in different directions.}

APOC: Unleash the guards!

{Combine Guards fall from the sky. (These guys are heavily armored. Not as strong as the SkyShield, but strong. They're very slow.) They walk slowly towards Bubs'.}

{Noxigar speedily transforms into Larxene Form and lays several throwing knives in the grass for Combine Guards to trip over.}

NOXIGAR: Muahahaha... {Noxigar reverts to his normal form and gets out several bombs headed for the guards. "OOC: Noxigar is quicker than the guards due to common sense indicating that Noxigar isn't wearing the armor that Combine Guards are wearing"}

{The Combine Guards step on the knives and march foward. The SkyShield protected troops (and Apoc) march behind.}

{Noxigar sneakily puts a few levitators on Bubs' Concession Stand as it shoots missiles at the frontline.}

NOXIGAR: {softly spoken} That guy just damaged me, so I'm going to make him have to waste his energy from that Sky Shield, and I'll pick off any that aren't protected.

{Noxigar activates the levitators and Bubs' Concession Stand starts floating in the air.}

{OOC: That's a stalling method I'm providing so the plot can be executed properly.}

AUSSIE: Are you an admin?

NOXIGAR: No. However, I'm against the Combine. They're weak and prove it so by using cheap tactics to win. Watch as I mock their useless weaponry by sending Bubs' Concession Stand to Angel Island, of which is in the sky.

{Noxigar directs the levitators so it levitates Bubs high into the sky towards Angel Island.}

APOC: Alright that's it.

{ApocalypX leaves the SkyShield, throws his scythe into the ground, unable to be taken out and stands there.}

NOXIGAR: What is it, Apoc?

APOC: Oh, you'll see.

{Apoc laughs and a deathly storm surrounds the Field.}

BUBS: Uh-oh.

{Fade to black. Credits play.}



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