Wikihood 2/eps/30
From The Wikihood
30 The Not-so-final Curtain
Synopsis
CAST (in order of appearence):
Transcript
{Open to the surface of the moon. Ekul's trash can lands. Cut to the inside, as it land, Kyves and Homsar fly up as it crash land, but slowly floats down}
KYVES: Ah, moon gravity. So fun. Let's go outside. Let's see... is this part of the moon facing the sun?
HOMSAR: I can't whistle Ketmartha, burt maybe that's because my boot hit the target
{Kyves looks around}
KYVES: Wasn't the LoE behind us?
{A flash of blue light comes from behind. Strong Sader and Homestar are there.}
STRONG SADER: There. I knew that that teleportation program would come in handy! Too bad it can only handle a mod plus one. The others would have liked to die helping us escape... Maybe.
KYVES: Drakul is still in FCUSA, right? We should be safe. Unless... Oh crap, Ekul is a mod too!
STRONG SADER: Oh, crap that's right! Wait a second... {A small hole opens in the simulation. Strong Sader reaches in and adjest a few things.} Okay, I've put an encryption on the program. It won't remain locked perminently is I know Ekul, but it'll at least buy some time.
KYVES: Yeah. The important thing is to take advantage of this. If we keep moving while we plan, we can... hey, is it just me or are the stars disappearing?
{Cut to the sky, where some of the stars start to fade away}
SIMULATION MAINFRAME: ERROR! MEMORY LOSS! ERROR! MEMORY LOSS! UNKNOWN VIRUS!
KYVES: Virus? Oh no... Jerxie couldn't take us over... so he's trying to take us down with him!
{Cut to the real world. The simulator is smoking, lack of maintainence causing an overheat. Cut back to the moon, a large crack opens in the sky and jerxie in his crab form emerges, covered in cheese.}
JERXIE: You guessed right, my friend. Thanks to some neat collapses in the physics algorithems, I was able to escape my gravitational cheese prison! Now prepare to suffer!
{The system loss causes a large disturbance. The system makes a clicking sound and starts ejecting people randomly out of the simulation. Cut to Nived, who is disconnected. He is a hologram, yet his body is separated from him. It walks away from him}
NIVED: Come back here, body! ...I can't log back on. Well, I'd better take advantage of this time... Operation Dome-ination.
{Cut back to Drakul. He looks up into the sky.}
DRAKUL: Jerxie... Once I absorb the soul of Jerxie I will rule everything!
{Drakul wires into the simulation and ends up in orbit around the moon. He turns into a bat and returns to the surface}
KYVES: Crap, Drakul! How did you get here so fast?
DRAKUL: Jerxie has a strong enough presence to track... I'll deal with you later.
JERXIE: {Thinking} Hmm, this guy's evility stats are off the scale. If I get him I'll be unstappable! {Speaking} Come here!
{Jerxie fires a bolt of glitchy lightening at Drakul. Drakul's form is ripped from Ekul, who collapses from a number of burns. Drakul is then fried in Jerxie's grip and then tossed to the moondust laden ground.}
JERXIE: Okay, lets make a deal: I'll spare you if youe surrender yourself to me now.
{Drakul stands up and his burns heal.}
DRAKUL: You're used to fighting mortals! I am a vampire!
{Ekul convulses. The glitches that run through him cause him to change personality rapidly. Ekul's mind is ripped from his body. Cut out of the simulation, where Ekul the penguin walks away from the simulation. The glitch passes to Kyves, who is also separated from his body. However, Kyves had now personality separated so he stays intact. Cut back to the moon. Jerxie summons a wooden stake covered in creamed garlic from a glitchy hole in the simulation. He fires it at Drakul, who is stabbed through the heart. Drakul rips out the stake, completely unaffected.}
JERXIE: {thinking} Oh, right he's a phoenix penguin: He has an infinite capacity to come back from the dead, and as he's dead already he's impossible to destroy!
{Drakul weakens a little though}
DRAKUL: G-garlic?
{Drakul stands back up}
KYVES: It appears separating Ekul from him gave him a weakness to garlic or something...
{Kyves turns to Strong Sader}
KYVES: I don't know who the lesser of the two evils is, how can we pick a side? I mean, helping either side or neither side could get us killed.
STRONG SADER: If Jerxie destroys the simulation we're all doomed, and he could do far more damage in the real world if he gets out. We should side with Drakul if he'll allow until Jerxie is dealt with.
KYVES: True. Jerxie wants to destroy everything, and Drakul just wants our souls so that he can rule the universe.
{Ekul is now Cul, as he's shifting personalities rapidly}
CUL: I... somehow Drakul being removed from me made us unstable... We are having problems with my pronouns now.
{Cul shifts to Γ (Gamma).}
Γ: Oh no... Darkul has escaped! Drakul had been the composure that held this mind together! It won't be long until... he arrives...
{Drakul looks to the others}
DRAKUL: Arguably, that's our best shot at killing Jerxie. Too bad he'll probably kill the rest of you too! ...no matter. If you want to help me, I'll spare you. I give you my word as a gentleman.
STRONG SADER: Jerxie's only weakness is extreme gravity. If Nived were here we'd be saved, but we'll need to find an alternative without him.
{Drakul jumps at Jerxie and fires blue flames and black ice. They engage each other}
KYVES: This time Jerxie's defeat will need to be for good, Jerxie's very presence is what is causing the simulation to be destroyed. No shortcuts, no imprisonment. This is where we draw the line. Strong Sader the two of us can use our combined powers to combine protons and electrons on Jupiter into neutrons. Jupiter will turn into a solid ball of mass which can be crashed into his abdomen. Then, we can destroy him for good.
{Cut to the fight. Jerxie is having to concentait on defending more then attacking.}
JERXIE: Crap, this isn't working, I need more energy...
{Jerxie fires a beam of glitchy lightening ayt the Earth. It sweeps across FCUSA sucking up all of the zombified characters in its beam, converting them into pure binary code. Back on the moon, Jerxie absorbs the energy and coding before growing into a large mutated beast.}
STRONG SADER: I guess it's now or never, then.
{Γ start to turn into Darkul}
Γ: Oh crap... make it quick guys, I'm almost Darkul!
{Γ creates a blue portal to Jupiter. The portal is glitchy, but still perfectly functional}
Γ: Jump through!
{Strong Sader, Kyves and Γ leap through into the portal. On the other side, they arrive on Io.}
STRONG SADER: It's a good thing this place is volcanic, or we'd all be frozen...
KYVES: Wait, no! Γ, go back! If you become evil, we want you to kill Jerxie before you kill us!
Γ: Oh, right.
{Γ creates a portal to the Trash Can and enters it. It orbits around the moon.}
KYVES: Now, here's what we do. With your power to control electricity, and my power to control magnetic charges, we can force an electron into a proton to form a neutron. There's enough mass on Jupiter to kill Jerxie if we turn the planet into a ball of neutrons.
STRONG SADER: Turn Jupiter into a neutron star? Great idea! The high energy furnace should get rid of any remains that Jerxie may leave.
{Strong Sader fires a bolt of electricity from his hands as Kyves grips Jupiter in his magnetic field. Cut back to the battle between Drakul and Jerxie. Jerxie has a slight advantage due to the fact that he is making garlic gradually grow across the moon. However, the fact that the moon has no atmosphere to speak of makes Drakul's attacks unpredictable. Since there is no air to transmit heat, Jerxie cannot cool down whenever Drakul burns him.}
JERXIE: Give it up, kid! You can't defeat me!
DRAKUL: Keep telling yourself that. You're nothing, you're just a program. This simulation will crash. Can't you see the stars disappearing? That's the system losing it's memory of distant stars. That's what happens when a program is deleted. It's what will happen to you!
{Drakul blasts a large amount of heated moondust at Jerxie which envelopes him, and Jerxie begins to overheat. He shakes off the dust, but it doesn't make him any cooler.}
JERXIE: In the end, that's all you are too. So that means that I can do this!
{Jerxie fires more glitchy lightening at Drakul, and begins feeding of his binary code.}
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