Starke

From Superdickery

Current revision as of 00:12, 17 November 2008

Origin

Starke was a long term lurker who emerged in a flurry of activity, mostly in the IRC chatroom, shortly before the The Great Clusterfuck Of November 2007. Among other things he has repeatedly brought Misfile forum members into the IRC chat, much to the irritation of Jack Cain who insisted that it would bring about the end of all things.

The Great Clusterfuck

During the hours while The Royal Pains were implementing their autocratic rule over the boards. Starke worked with Bdsproductions and PsychosesMan to set up The All New Superdickery! message board. He has since emerged as a deranged but mostly persistent poster on that board.

Relations with other Board Members

For the most part he has built up an adversarial relationship with Jack, who believes he is a harbinger of the apocalypse, and will lead a campaign of Misfile forum members in a path of destruction across the boards.

He has had a further antagonistic relationship with PsychosesMan, with whom he shares administrative duties on The All New Superdickery! Though recently this friction has lessened somewhat.

He cannot seem to remember that Shirkie is male.

Has driven Drake Everman to suicide by explaining that his religion is heretical.

The Gospel according to St. Starke

"And lo, JackCain came unto the people and he proclaimd to the tyrants, "lo that I be but a worm at your feet. I would burn to ash in thy presence." Thus the Queen spoke, "yeah, whatever" 3:16

15"Tyrant spoke thus, 'I shal purge this new land of all that is green on the ground and all that is wet in the streams, I shal make it like unto a barren land where no fertile thing may grow." For lo, he had found a weakness. A simple flaw, and with the unholy algorithm of brute force, he opened the form of Shirkie and laid claim, saying, "I have taken this, and nothing you shall do will unseat me."

16"But, he had made a terrible mistake, for the form of the Shirkie was not powerful enough for his plans to come to fruition, but, even so, it was on that dark day that one hundred score were lost, and the sands of the past claimed all.

17"The Minion cried out, "lo, how could they do this to us? How could they peruse us here, but, it was in this time that the great orator PsychosisMan counciled them, "FUCK!" 23:15-17

Superhero Profile

Superhero Name: Kyle Starke

Real Name: Michael Schwarz

Age: 25

Powers: Snapshooting, effective use of blades, hand to hand training, and inhuman reflexes.

Education: A completly worthless AAS in computer science

Significant Work Experience: Years of working for FedEx Ground has given him the ability to get screwed over in new and interesting ways.

Proficient with handguns.

Snarky sense of humor.

Looks good in a tie.