Chris Knight
From Stmargarets
Contents |
Biography
Chris Knight (aka Baby, Goof #1, The King of Russia, Pumpkin, Peanut, et al) was born in Ohio. The town or the time of birth is not clear to the author at this time. There is a humorous story involving the birth of Chris, possibly involving poison ivy of some sort, though the details of this are also rather uncertain to the author, and thus the anecdote will now be abandoned.
Chris' childhood was spent roaming the United States in such widely-mocked states as Ohio, Kentucky, and Florida. At the tender age of eight, Chris moved to London, England, where he attented Hall Grove Day School. Chris fit in well there, due to the increasingly pale color of his skin. The situation became so dire that at one point one of Chris' teachers was heard to remark, "Good lord the aliens have landed!" The comment scarred Chris deeply (metaphorically), and he immediately formulated a plan to become much more tan. (n.b. this plan has yet to come to fruition).
At Hall Grove Chris Knight made a number of friends including Keisuke Kumai (sp?), a young Japanese boy who spoke but three words of english ("more tea please"). The two have kept in touch ever since, through Christmas cards.
After England Chris returned to America, where his family took up residence on Greenbrier Drive in the exclusive neighborhood of University Park, Texas. There, he attended Hyer Elementary School and later McCulloch Middle School. At Hyer, Chris developed a friendly rivalry with schoolmate, Preston Kerr.
Chris arrived at SMES, a starry-eyed 6th-grader when Kip Knight, his father, was relocated to work at Taco Bell headquarters in Irvine, CA.
History at SMES
In Middle School, Chris developed friendships with Umar, Joey Kelly, Kevin Fathi, and Cole Buffa. The details on Chris' fabled Magic: The Gathering career are somewhat shady and should be clarified.
In high school Chris hit the big time, becoming one of the more popular and influential students by his senior year. In a, literally, crowning moment, Cody Tucker ceded his title of Prom King to Chris at the senior prom. It is said that the tears flowed freely that night, and the author has no reason to doubt that.
Clubs involved in
Following the graduation of Thomas Knight, Chris Knight was handed the reigns of The Ultimate Simpsons Fan Club. Admitedly it was not a desireable position to be forced into, as the club was already falling apart at the time. Chris struggled bravely and managed to hold together the club for at least one more semester.
Chris was also involved in a band known as The Goofs along with Andrew Guichet and Michael Magill. The band released a mildly successful CD, Still Goofy After All These Years, and performed at Lunch on the Lawn to mild applause.
Contributions to SMES
By junior year, Chris had been struggling for some time to find friends. During class elections, he decided to take action, and, using the format of an election poster, mounted a "BE MY FRIEND" campaign. The campaign was a huge coup for Chris, yielding at least 5 or 6 friends. It is widely believed that Chris' campaign marked the beginning of the pointless posters trend at SMES which continues to this day.
Girls dated
Following a virtually dateless high school career, Chris finally gathered the courage to ask Mackenzie Smith to the Senior Prom. At a packed convocation, he read a romantic poem he had written, and then asked if she would go to the dance with him. Surprisingly she agreed, and the two attended the dance together. Sadly, this date never materialized into a lasting relationship.
