Other Character Email Scratch/age

From Sthfanstuffwiki

Scratch gets questions about his age.

Cast (in order of appearance): Scratch, Grounder

Places: Scratch's House

Computer: Cluckmac 92

Date: January 19, 2008

[edit] Transcript

{Cut to Scratch at the Cluckmac}

SCRATCH: Mah boi, this email is what all true Scratches strive for!

GROUNDER: I just wonder what Robotnik's up to...

SCRATCH: Enough. {slaps Grounder}

Dear Scratch,
I've seen you drink and Grounder smoke.
Are you guys old enough to be doin' that stuff?
Scatfully yours,
John

SCRATCH: {typing} My age is none of your buisness! You don't ask a robot his age...it may cause some distortion with the mainframe from...th-th-thinking and...eeeeee-oooo...AHAHA!

{Scratch's head blows off and lands next to Grounder}

SCRATCH: A little help?

{Grounder puts Scrtch's head back on}

SCRATCH: Well...lets see...it's 2008. Grounder, look up when Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog was released.

GROUNDER: Yes, sir. {salutes and rolls off}

SCRATCH: Meanwhile...I'll do stuff...

{Scratch is playing with a paddleball, "5 minutes later" is on the bottom of the screen}

SCRATCH: Paddle...paddle...paddle...

{Scratch is on Youtube, "10 minutes later" is on the bottom of the screen}

SOMETHING IN THE VIDEO: Pickle pickle pickle.

{a boom is heard}

SCRATCH: Wow...that sucked.

{Cut to Scratch's Living Room, Scratch is lying on the couch playing a Gameboy, "20 minutes later" is on the bottom of the screen}

SCRATCH: Damn it, Link! Kill the thing!

{Back to the Computer Room, Scratch is on [www.homestarrunner.com], "30 minutes later" is on the bottom of the screen}

SCRATCH: Oh, Puppet Homestar, you crack me up. Crack. Me. Up!

{Scratch is asleep at the Cluckmac, "1 hour later" is on the bottom of the screen}

SCRATCH: Whu...Ah? HOW LONG DOES IT TAKE GROUNDER TO LOOK UP STUFF!?

GROUNDER: Actually, I found it 5 minutes ago.

SCRATCH: Then why didn't you tell me!?

GROUNDER: Uh...a wizard did it. Anyway, you're only 14.

SCRATCH: But that's 21 in...erm...robot years, correct?

GROUNDER: Nope.

SCRATCH: Bird years?

GROUNDER: Maybe...

SCRATCH: Let's just go with age 21 for me...for legal issues.

GROUNDER: Ok.

{The Paper comes down}