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Ratclaw

From Randomramblings

“Um, what?”

~ Ratclaw on Anything and Everything

Ratclaw is a poster on the forums of loathing, in particular Random Ramblings. It has been calculated that around 96.18 percent of his posts are located in the RR, as of October 22, 2006. His greatest passion is fire and explosions, and definitely firey explosions.

Ratclaw is currently watching a large skyscraper go up in New York. He says it will be his greatest pyratic feat ever, whatever that means.

Contents

Interesting Facts

Ratclaw is a math nerd. Stupid people hate him, and the feeling is mutual. Because stupid branches out into many fields, Ratclaw hates himself on many levels, and himself hates Ratclaw back.

Somehow related to the math nerd aspect, Ratclaw has memorized more pi than 99.99% of people on earth have. This is, of course, incredibly useless in real life, but Ratclaw is still proud of this.

Ratclaw made the wrong decision of fighting Janus over cheese when he joined the forums. Much blood was spilled. Another similar event happened which involved Ratclaw being run over by a motorcycle. Ratclaw is still alive, despite having his stomach ripped open.

Life History

On the day Ratclaw was born, a meteor struck Lipia-7 in the Abell 1835 IR1916 galaxy.

On his thirteenth birthday, a mudhut in eastern Yemen was hit by a stray bullet.

Ratclaw was diagnosed insane by some guy who claimed to be a psychologist, and again by a self-proclaimed "therapist". Pssh.

Forum History

Immediately after he joined, Ratclaw created a topic related to vomit and diarrhea. This did not bode well with anyone, and the thread was deleted. Ratclaw proceeded to spend the next few months of his life in baseless lies, having much fun and boosting his postcount greatly. After that was locked and Ratclaw's picket signs and torches were taken away, Ratclaw finally turned to the actual forums. He has remained there ever since, and declares himself "the generic RRer". He explains this as "I count as a hundred people in these forums. Three of them are seasoned posters, twelve of them are spammers, six of them have ADHD, four of them are mentally retarded, one of them is brilliant, many of them are some of each, and the rest are average. I post for all of them. Usually they have nothing to say."

Ratclaw is not:


JNS This user believes in the one true Lord Janus as his God, Savior, and Prophet, and will be eternally rewarded in the afterlife.
Kill This user is a serial killer. He should be terminated by the FIST.
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