Forgiveness

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Rembrandt - "The Return of the Prodigal Son"
Forgiveness is the action or process of ceasing to feel resentment or anger against another person for an offence or mistake, or ceasing to demand punishment or restitution. Forgiveness may be considered simply in terms of the feelings of the person who forgives, or in terms of the relationship between the forgiver and the person forgiven. In some contexts, it may be granted without any expectation of compensation, and without any response on the part of the offender (for example, one may forgive a person who is dead). In practical terms, it may be necessary for the offender to offer some form of apology or restitution, or even just ask for forgiveness, in order for the wronged person to believe they are able to forgive.

Most world religions include teachings on the nature of forgiveness, and many of these teachings provide an underlying basis for the varying modern day theories and practices of forgiveness. Instances of teachings on forgiveness such as the parable of the Prodigal Son[1] and Mahatma Gandhi's forgiveness of his assassin as he lay dying, are well known instances of such teachings and practices of forgiveness. Some religious doctrines or philosophies place greater emphasis on the need for humans to find some sort of divine forgiveness for their own shortcomings, others place greater emphasis on the need for humans to practice forgiveness between one another, yet others make little or no distinction between human and/ or divine forgiveness.

Contents

Forgiveness in the major religious traditions

Buddhism

In Buddhism, forgiveness is seen as a practice to prevent harmful emotions from causing havoc on one’s mental well-being. [2] Buddhism does not emphasize forgiving; rather Buddhism’s solution is to look at the foolishness of being resentful in the first place. [3] When resentments have already arisen, the Buddhist view is to calmly proceed to release them by going back to their roots. Buddhism centers on release from delusion and suffering through meditation and receiving insight into the nature of reality. Buddhism questions the reality of the passions that make forgiveness necessary as well as the reality of the objects of those passions. [4]

Buddhism places much emphasis on the concepts of compassion, equanimity, love and the ethic of reciprocity as a means to avoiding resentments in the first place.

Quotes (more quotes here)
‘He abused me, he struck me, he overcame me, he robbed me’
— In those who harbor such thoughts hatred will never cease.
‘He abused me, he struck me, he overcame me, he robbed me’
— In those who do not harbor such thoughts hatred will cease.
(Dhammapada 1.3-4; trans. Radhakrishnan)

Christianity

According to traditional Christian teachings, the forgiveness of others is amongst the spiritual duties of the Christian believer. God is generally considered to be the original source of all forgiveness, which is made possible through the suffering and sacrifice of Jesus, and is freely available to the repentant believer. As a response to God's forgiveness, the Christian believer is in turn expected to learn how to forgive others; some would teach that the forgiveness of others is a necessary part of receiving forgiveness ourselves. The person who is forgiven is not necessarily released from any obligation to make material or financial amends.

The Roman Catholic Christian and Orthodox Christian churches teach that God's forgiveness of the believer is "mediated" by the Church. This mediated and formal forgiveness is usually carried out ritually by an ordained priest. In these churches, and in some Anglican churches, it is customary to make formal confession of sins individually in the presence of a priest, and to obtain absolution as a formal expression by the church of God's forgiveness. Most Protestant denominations teach that a believer receives forgiveness more directly through a sincere expression of repentance to God, and that the believer completes this in the act of forgiving others. Protestant denominations generally place more emphasis on the need for private or informal repentance, while more orthodox denominations tend to place a greater emphasis on the need for formal or public repentance.

It is taught by most denominations that the substitutionary sacrifice of Jesus via the crucifixion is the key to enabling God to forgive the believer of his or her sins. The sacrament of communion is regarded as central to the reception of divine forgiveness in most Christian denominations.

Quotes (more quotes here)

Key Biblical texts on the subject of forgiveness include (here quoted from the New International Version):

  • The Lord's Prayer - "Forgive us our [debts], as we forgive our [debtors]" (some versions have sin instead of debts, and others still have trespasses instead of debts)
  • "Peter came to Jesus and asked, 'Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?' Jesus answered, 'I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times (or seventy times seven).'" (Matthew 18:21-22)
This introduces the most relevant parable, that of the Unmerciful Servant, which concludes: "In anger his master turned him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed. This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother from your heart." (Matthew 18:34-35)
  • "And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins." (Mark 11:25)
This can be taken to imply that the exercise of forgiveness is part of that repentance through which the believer has access to the forgiveness of God.
  • "Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you." (Ephesians 4:32)
See also

For some of the principal Christian teachings regarding the forgiveness of sins by God, see:

Among the Protestant Reformers, John Wesley stated that forgiveness is an "...act of God the Father, hereby, for the sake of the propitiation made by the blood of his Son, he 'showeth forth his righteousness (or mercy)...'". 1 2.

Christian Universalism

Regarding for human conduct, Universalists typically have taught that the boundless love of God by which all sin will (at least eventually) be forgiven animates a similar duty for humankind. Those biblical texts that for partialists (i.e., those Christians who believe in the partiality of God's love) illustrate similar principles by which Universalists seek to live. Most notable is the petition from the Lord's Prayer: "Forgive us our [debts/sins/trespasses], as we forgive [our debtors/those who sin against us/those who trespass against us]".

Hinduism

The concept of performing atonement from one's wrongdoing (Prayaschitta — Sanskrit: Penance), and asking for forgiveness is very much a part of the practice of Hinduism. Prayashitta is related to the law of Karma. Karma is a sum of all that an individual has done, is currently doing and will do. The effects of those deeds and these deeds actively create present and future experiences, thus making one responsible for one's own life, and the pain in others.

Forgiveness is a great power

Addressing Dhritarashtra, Vidura said: "There is one only defect in forgiving persons, and not another; that defect is that people take a forgiving person to be weak. That defect, however, should not be taken into consideration, for forgiveness is a great power. Forgiveness is a virtue of the weak, and an ornament of the strong. Forgiveness subdues (all) in this world; what is there that forgiveness cannot achieve? What can a wicked person do unto him who carries the sabre of forgiveness in his hand? Fire falling on the grassless ground is extinguished of itself. And unforgiving individual defiles himself with many enormities. Righteousness is the one highest good; and forgiveness is the one supreme peace; knowledge is one supreme contentment; and benevolence, one sole happiness." (From the Mahabharata, Udyoga Parva Section XXXIII, Translated by Sri Kisari Mohan Ganguli)<ref>Template:Cite web</ref>.

An even more authoritative statement about forgiveness is espoused by Krishna, who is considered to be an incarnation (avatar) of Vishnu by Hindus. Krishna said in the Gita that forgiveness is one of the characteristics of one born for a divine state. It is noteworthy that he distinguishes those good traits from those he considered to be demoniac, such as pride, self-conceit and anger (Bhagavad Gita, Chapter 16, verse 3).

Huston Smith in his book The World's Religions <ref>Huston Smith, The World's Religions, Harper SanFrancisco, first ed 1958, p. 34 ISBN 0062508113 </ref> says

"Enter Hinduism’s myths, her magnificent symbols, her several hundred images of God, her rituals that keep turning night and day like never ending prayer wheels. It is obtuse to confuse Hinduism’s images with idolatry, and their multiplicity with polytheism. They are 'runways' from which the sense-laden human spirit can rise for its "flight of the alone to the Alone".

Even village priest will frequently open their temple ceremonies with the following beloved invocation:

O Lord, forgive three sins that are due to my human limitations:
Thou art everywhere, but I worship you here;
Thou art without form, but I worship you in these forms;
Thou needest no praise, yet I offer you these prayers and salutations,
Lord, forgive three sins that are due to my human limitations.

Islam

The word Islam is derived from the Semetic word: slm, meaning peace. Clearly forgiveness is a prerequisite for any true or genuine peace. Islam teaches that God (Allah in Arabic) is 'the most forgiving', and is the original source of all forgiveness. Forgiveness often requires the repentance of those being forgiven. Depending on the type of wrong committed, forgiveness can come either directly from Allah, or from one's fellow man. In the case of divine forgiveness, the asking for divine forgiveness via repentance is important. In the case of human forgiveness, it is important to both forgive, and to be forgiven.<ref>Template:Cite web</ref>

The central and most sacred book of Islam: the Qu'ran, teaches that there is only one error that Allah cannot forgive, the error of ascribing partners (or equals) to Allah. Islam ranks this error as a denial of monotheism, and therefor of the supreme nature of Allah himself. ( shirk).

Indeed! God does not forgive the sin of ascribing partners to Him, but He forgives anything else to whom He pleases, and whoever takes partners with God has gone astray into far error. (Qur'an 4:116)

The Qur'an does on occasion make allowances for violent behavior on the part of Muslim believers<ref>Qur'an 9:12- "Fight ye the chiefs of the unbelievers."</ref>, and such allowances have been construed by some observers as condoning unforgiving behavior. Still such allowances are only made within the Qur'an in the case of defending one's faith, one's life or one's property. Outside of this, the Qu'ran makes no allowances for violent behavior. From time to time certain Muslims have interpreted such Qur'anic allowances for "defensive violence" to include what other Muslims have viewed more as unwarranted and overly aggressive violence. This interpretative debate about when to forgive and when to aggressively attack or defend continues to this day within the Muslim community.

Whenever possible, the Qur'an makes it clear that it is better to forgive another than to attack another. The Qur'an describes the believers (Muslims) as those who, When they are angry they forgive. (Qur'an 42:37) and says that Whosoever forgives and makes amends, his reward is upon Allah. (Qur'an 42:40).

To receive forgiveness from God there are three requirements:

  1. Recognizing the offense itself and its admission before God.
  2. Making a commitment not to repeat the offense.
  3. Asking for forgiveness from God.

If the offense was committed against another human being, or against society, a fourth condition is added:

  1. Recognizing the offense before those against whom offense was committed and before God.
  2. Committing oneself not to repeat the offense.
  3. Doing whatever needs to be done to rectify the offense (within reason)and asking pardon of the offended party.
  4. Asking God for forgiveness.

There are no particular words to say for asking forgiveness. However, Muslims are taught many phrases and words to keep repeating daily asking God's forgiveness. For example:

  • Astaghfiru-Allah5, "I ask forgiveness from Allah"
  • Subhanaka-Allah humma wa bi hamdika wa ash-hadu al la Ilaha illa Anta astaghfiruka wa atubu ilayk, "Glory be to You, Allah, and with You Praise (thanks) and I bear witness that there is no deity but You, I ask Your forgiveness and I return to You (in obedience)".

Islamic teaching presents the prophet Muhammad as an example of someone who would forgive others for their ignorance, even those who might have once considered themselves to be his enemies. One example of Muhammad's practice of forgiveness can be found in the Hadith, the body of early Islamic literature about the life of Muhammad. This account is as follows:
The Prophet (may peace be upon him) was the most forgiving person. He was ever ready to forgive his enemies. When he went to Ta’if to preach the message of Allah, its people mistreated him, abused him and hit him with stones. He left the city humiliated and wounded. When he took shelter under a tree, the angel of Allah visited him and told him that Allah sent him to destroy the people of Ta’if because of their sin of maltreating their Prophet. Muhammad (may peace be upon him) prayed to Allah to save the people of Ta'if, because what they did was out of their ignorance.<ref>Template:Cite web</ref>

Quotes (more quotes here)
  • "Keep to forgiveness, and enjoin kindness." Qur'an 7:199-200
  • "But if you endure patiently (and do not punish), indeed it is better for the patient. Endure you patiently." Qur'an 16:126-127
  • "But withal, if one is patient in adversity and forgives — this, behold, is indeed something to set one's heart upon." Qur'an 42:43
  • "Let them (the worthy) forgive and show indulgence. Yearn ye not that Allah may forgive you? Allah is Forgiving, Merciful." Qur'an 24:22
  • "There is no compulsion in religion." Qur'an 2:256 (And thus, it can be reasoned, no need to hold grievances or unforgiveness, believing these to be amongst one's religious obligations.)

Judaism

In Judaism, if a person harms one, but then sincerely and honestly apologizes to the wronged individual and tries to rectify the wrong, the wronged individual is religiously required to grant forgiveness:

  • “It is forbidden to be obdurate and not allow yourself to be appeased. On the contrary, one should be easily pacified and find it difficult to become angry. When asked by an offender for forgiveness, one should forgive with a sincere mind and a willing spirit. . . forgiveness is natural to the seed of Israel. (Mishneh Torah, Teshuvah 2:10)

But if the wrongdoer does not apologize, there is no religious obligation to grant forgiveness. <ref>Template:Cite web</ref> This is because Judaism is focused on the personal responsibility of the wrongdoer. It is the wrongdoer's responsibility to recognize their wrongdoing and to seek forgiveness from those who have been harmed.


Additionally, in Judaism, a person must apologize to those she has harmed in order to be entitled to forgiveness. <ref>Template:Cite web</ref> This means that, unlike in Christianity, in Judaism a person cannot obtain forgiveness from G-d for wrongs the person has done to other people. A person can only obtain forgiveness from G-d for wrongs done to G-d. For instance, should person A assault person B, person A would have to obtain forgiveness from both person B (for the assault) and G-d (for breaking G-d's law against assault). This is similar to how the criminal justice system in many countries works; in America, for example, an assault is considered both an offense against the government (leading to criminal prosecution) and an offense against the individual (leading to possible tort damages claims). Sir Jonathan Sacks, Chief Rabbi of the United Hebrew Congregations of the Commonwealth summed this concept up as follows: "it is not that God forgives, while human beings do not. To the contrary, we believe that just as only God can forgive sins against God, so only human beings can forgive sins against human beings."<ref>Template:Cite web</ref>


A Jew may, however, forgive if they choose even if the offender has not apologized:

  • If one who has been wronged by another does not wish to rebuke or speak to the offender — because the offender is simple or confused — then if he sincerely forgives him, neither bearing him ill-will nor administering a reprimand, he acts according to the standard of the pious. (Deot 6:9)


Jews observe a Day of Atonement (Yom Kippur) on the day before G-d makes decisions regarding what will happen during the coming year. <ref>Template:Cite web</ref> Just prior to Yom Kippur, Jews will ask forgiveness of those they have wronged during the prior year (if they have not already done so). <ref>Template:Cite web</ref> During Yom Kippur itself, Jews fast and pray for G-d's forgiveness for the transgressions they have made against G-d in the prior year. <ref>Template:Cite web</ref> Sincere repentence is required, and once again, G-d can only forgive one for the sins one has committed against G-d; this is why it is necessary for Jews also to seek the forgiveness of those people who they have wronged.<ref>Template:Cite web</ref>

Other spiritual approaches to forgiveness

“A Course in Miracles”

Forgiveness, as the means to remembering God, is the fundamental message of A Course in Miracles (ACIM). ACIM teaches that forgiveness is not simply the letting go of resentment, but rather forgiveness is awakening to eternal “vision” and remembering that there is nothing “real” to resent.

ACIM would reinterpret forgiveness as follows: Metaphysically, there is actually nothing to forgive. Outside of time there was a tiny mad idea that one could be separate from God and thereby lose one’s essential goodness. In reality, one cannot. All creation is a loving and eternal thought of God. Nevertheless, our experience in time is the perception (or misperception) that there has been a separation from God. The effect of that "tiny mad idea" of separation is analogous to a ripple effect in a pond, spreading out to create a universe of myriad forms of separation. But God still IS, as always. Outside of time, from God’s eternal reality, came His instant answer to the thought of separation: forgiveness. Within time, this answer must be learned.

Forgiveness is the recognition or awakening to the reality that the separation never occurred in God’s eternal reality. Forgiveness removes the blocks to seeing the eternal goodness and Godliness in, and unity and equality with, one’s brother. This in turn leads to the same sight within ourselves. Ultimately, forgiveness opens the experience that whatever is perceived to have been done in time has had no effect upon eternal oneness. All remain as God willed at creation; united in God’s eternal love.

Below are several passages from ACIM, which are representative of its teachings on forgiveness.

  • “Do not allow your brother not to remember, for his forgetfulness is yours. But your remembering is his, for God cannot be remembered alone. This is what you have forgotten. To perceive the healing of your brother as the healing of yourself is thus the way to remember God. . . . Perceive in sickness but another call for love, and offer your brother what he believes he cannot offer himself. Whatever the sickness, there is but one remedy. You will be made whole as you make whole, for to perceive in sickness the appeal for health is to recognize in hatred the call for love. And to give a brother what he really wants is to offer it unto yourself, for your Father wills you to know your brother as yourself.” (ACIM 2d ed. text, p. 218)
  • “II. The Forgiven World. Can you imagine how beautiful those you forgive will look to you? In no fantasy have you ever seen anything so lovely. Nothing you see here, sleeping or waking, comes near to such loveliness. And nothing will you value like unto this, nor hold so dear. Nothing that you remember that made your heart sing with joy has ever brought you even a little part of the happiness this sight will bring you. For you will see the Son of God. You will behold the beauty the Holy Spirit loves to look upon, and which He thanks the Father for. He was created to see this for you, until you learned to see it for yourself.” (ACIM 2d ed. text, p. 352)
  • “There is no fear in perfect love because it knows no sin, and it must look on others as on itself. Looking with charity within, what can it fear without? The innocent see safely, and the pure in heart see God within His Son, and look to the Son to lead them to the Father. . . . In your brother is the light of God’s eternal promise of your immortality. See him as sinless, and there can be no fear in you.” (ACIM, 2d ed. text, p. 431)

Psychological theories about forgiveness

In the last few decades, forgiveness has received attention from social psychologists. Although there is no consensual psychological definition of this concept in the research literature, many researchers assume that forgiveness is related to a pro-social change in interpersonal motivations towards another person who has committed an offense. Specifically, three changes in motivations are thought to occur when someone forgives an offender:Template:Fact

  1. An increase in motivation to act in ways that benefit the offender or the relationship with the offender.
  2. A decrease in motivation to take revenge on the offender.
  3. A decrease in motivation to avoid the offender.

Other non-religious views about forgiveness

Some believe the choice of forgiveness is only properly exercised if forgiveness is requested or earned through means such as atonement, amends, restitution or sincere apology and that such forgiveness often requires some sort of promise that the offending act or behavior will not be repeated. Forgiveness under these circumstances would remain conditioned upon the actions or words of the perceived wrongdoer. Others believe that forgiveness is a decision[5][6][7] the forgiver makes to let go of resentment held in the forgiver's mind of a perceived wrong or difference, either actual or imagined. As the choice of forgiveness is made in the mind of the forgiver, it can be made about any resentment, whether toward another, oneself, a group, a situation or even one's God. For example, the forgiving.org website states that forgiveness of another can be granted with or without the other asking for forgiveness, and that forgiveness does not entail affirmatively condoning the wrong or difference that occasioned the resentment.[8]

Another view is that forgiveness is a gift<ref>Template:Cite web</ref><ref>Template:Cite web</ref> the forgiver gives to oneself and/or the perceived wrongdoer to free their respective minds of resentment and guilt. Such forgiveness does not require repentance, contrition or any other form of "payment" from the forgiven. The act of forgiveness has merit in and of itself and can stand alone without condition and therefore outside control of the perceived wrongdoer’s behavior. As a gift to oneself forgiveness allows the person granting forgiveness the opportunity to overcome some hurt or emotional turmoil by offering closure and the ability to move on from the perceived situation or circumstance that merited an act of forgiveness.<ref>Charles Stanley. The Gift of Forgiveness, Thomas Nelson, Inc. 1991, ISBN 0-7852-6415-9</ref> As a gift to the forgiven it provides a clearing for the forgiven to overcome the guilt, shame, stigma or other negative effects of their action or inaction that merited forgiveness. Forgiveness of this nature is sometimes referred to as a selective remembering, whereby one focuses only upon love or loving thoughts and lets go of negative thoughts.<ref>Marianne Williamson. Everyday Grace Having hope, finding forgiveness, and making miracles, Hay House, Inc. 2002, ISBN 1-57322-230-5</ref>

Studies show that people who forgive are happier and healthier than those who hold resentments<ref>Template:Cite web</ref>. One study has shown that the positive benefit of forgiveness is similar whether it was based upon religious or secular counseling as opposed to a control group that received no forgiveness counseling.<ref>Template:Cite web</ref>

See also

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References

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Bibliography

  • Hein, David. "Regrets Only: A Theology of Remorse." The Anglican 33, no. 4 (October 2004): 5-6.

External links

it:Perdono nl:Vergeving sv:Förlåtelse




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