This super-secret page contains tools for use by Uncyclopedia administrators only. If you are not an admin, please close your browser NOW.
Template:Wilde
Article deletion
Template:Tl This tool is used as the first step to decide whether to huff individual newly-created article stubs on sight:
Editing and page protection
Template:Tl If an article survived the previous step, decide here how to deface it beyond recognition:
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and:
- Clubs - club the user into unconsciousness
- Hearts - take 'em and break 'em *blush*
- Spades - shovel some more rubbish in there
- Diamonds - sell 'em out to the highest bidder
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Random bannination
Template:Tl This tool is used to decide the fate of individual editors on Uncyclopedia after randomly trashing their fine contributions:
- - ban user for life and revert all posts
- - arbitrarily ban user for life
- - ban user for some random duration and go back to sleep
- - replace user's posts with Template:Random Swearing swearwords
- - seek out and and revert all of user's edits
- - ignore user completely and maybe they'll go away
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Featured article
Template:Tl This tool is used if any text is left intact, to decide whether to nominate what's left of the article for VFH or VFP:
Misc cabal actions
Template:Tl Instructions for interpretation are on Admin Secret Form E-317a, pages 17-338.
| A non-admin user is always represented as a white pawn. Admin pieces are black.
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| If surrounded by pawns, user has been PWNED.
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| If surrounded by rooks, user must go to jail. Go directly to jail.
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| If surrounded by knights, user has been SLAIN and fed to dragons.
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| If surrounded by bishops reciting last rites, user is to be blown back to Gosh.
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| If user is surrounded by queens, s/he is to be handed over to the fashion police.
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| If user is surrounded by burger kings, would you like fries with that?
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| Template:Chess
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If all else fails
Ban the user for vandalising a protected page. Seeming as though you have (almost) absolute power, no-one will ask how the user managed to do this in the first place.
This super-secret page contained tools for use by Uncyclopedia administrators only. If you are an admin from some other site or a spy from Template:C and you read this page anyway, oh boy, you're in for it, eh?
