Benjutin Fondré

From Pirate Bitch

Benjutin Fondré, also sometimes cast as Benito Fondler, Benjamin Fordree and Benedict Fourtrees, is an established musician.

He wrote the No. 1 hit "Stuart Wilson has a Big Hanking Nose", which was played for thirteen weeks on Top of the Pops.

He was also the man who stopped Salestyn David's unbeaten run of winning the World's Sexiest Man Award for a sixth consecutive time. On receiving the award, Fondré was heard to declare he was pleased, but was far sexier than the award declared him to be.

He was once madly in love with Chloétta Fourtrees whom he met at one of his gigs. This had led to him releasing a stream of love songs, which have, sadly, angered his original fans. They fear he has gone too soft and that he is no longer the hard rocking ohmygodishenakedonstage star he once was.

His relationship with her ended when she married King of the Moon Rob Paterson.