Roman Emperor Nero

From Pirate Bitch

The Roman Emprer Nero Claudius Caesar Augustus Germanicus was born in 37 AD and died in 68 AD. He was widely believed to have been genuinely insane. He is also now believed to have been Stuart Wilson, due to their similarly big noses.

It turns out Stuart Wilson stumbled into a time machine and was sent back in time, where he rose to the position of Roman Emperor.

His subsequent death was reportedly the result of suicide assisted by his scribe Epaphroditos. In fact, Epaphroditos was none other than Jamie Tuffield, who travelled back in time to rescue Stuart and take him back to his own time.

With Stuart's nose being so big, Jamie could not fit in the time machine, and as a result remained behind in Rome. He spent three years building a new time machine, and in that time took part in several street orgies (portrayed in the Garald S Kirk television show Rome).

The old time machine was sold to a man called Doctor Whom by Stuart upon his return to the present day. Stuart spent the money he got for it on a really big box of Kleenex.