The Journey Around The World
From Pirate Bitch
The Journey Around The World is a novel written by Rob Paterson and Nathan Page. it is FLIPPING AWESOME!
Four mismatched companions spend their lottery winnings on bogus "Around the World" tickets after blowing up their house, but decide to use them anyway. After blowing up a priceless green exploding jewel, they go on the run, eventually totalling a vast amount of enemies. They travel to different countries, each country being a new chapter, and each bringing a new hilarious adventure before they eventually return home and capture some drug barons to pay of their debts.
Contents |
Plot
The Foursome
Cecil
Eggbert
Walter
'Ickle
Other Characters
Chapters
1. Money Problems
After Cecil falls down the stairs and inadvertently knocks down the entire house bar the front door, a displeased Eggbert reveals he had just won £10,000 on the lottery. Determined to still spend it on a treat rather than repairs, they go for a walk to think of a way to get around these financial issues. Cecil is conned by a seedy gentleman to buying "All inclusive 'Round the World tickets", £2,500. Upon learning of Cecil's purchase, he is beaten severely. Eggbert insists they all go get jobs, leaving Cecil to guard the ruins of their house. This is unsuccessful; Walter gets fired from a freak show as "The Man Who Never Stops Eating" after stopping eating for a toilet break; 'Ickle is fired from McDonalds after noone could see him behind the counter, and Eggbert's unpatented invention is stolen, half his measly £200 earnings used to get Cecil out of jail after he inexplicably broke into a house and set fire to it. After a further beating, Cecil suggests using the tickets. "They're damn well fake!" shouts an irate Eggbert, but Cecil insists "Noone knows that!". Struck by this genius, they pack their bags and hire a car with the ticket, driving away as the man notices they're fake.
2. The Explosive Jewel
As they drive up North, Cecil hurls firecrackers into open windows and gardens, unsuprisingly alerting the police, Cecil blowing up their tyres and sending it spinning into the Police HQ. Meanwhile, in the town museum, the "8th Wonder of the World", a large green jewel found in an Egyptian tomb is being displayed, both priceless and explosive. "Don't worry though, it needs a big jolt to go off!" laughs the Tour Guide. Eggbert's car then smashes through the wall, and knocks the jewel over, luckily not setting it off. Cecil is dragged away screaming as the tour guide proudly announces it survived the blast, unitl a police car crashes through and hits it. Kaboom! They see the jewel in five parts flung across the globe.
3. Bonnie Wee Scotland
