(Down On) Victoria Gardens

From Pirate Bitch

This filth, by The Count And His Men, on their album Picnic on the Frozen Tundra is described as "Nothing on doing it with a wall, but still very sexy!"

"It's not based on a true event at all!" assures Rob Paterson giving a saucy wink to Leonardo Mace. "It's about being lost in the garden of love... but with an extra zest of kink" adds Leonardo with a sheepish look.

Not to be confused with the version Nathan occasionally sings '(Down On) Victoria Streets'.

Lyrics

I'm going down down down down in your garden,

I'm going down down down; where no man should,

I'm going down down down down in your garden,

I'm going down down down; the only place I could.

My dearest love, grant me a tender kiss,

As we lay together on the grassy knole,

Let's take this chance, I'm not one to miss,

Pray I don't let slip to a loud mole.

My betrothèd, do lend me your ear,

As we sit here with the bird song,

There is nothing here for you to fear,

We won't be sitting for very long.

My sweet, do we heed nature's call?

For there are people sitting near,

For want, on top I wish to gently fall,

Is it safe, do you think, to brandish a spear?

My true love, do we act like a manic?

Romance is not dead, I am no clown,

For the onlookers, I do not wish to panic,

But I am afraid I shall have to take you down.

Down, down, down...

Beneath your satin gown...

Down, down, down...

Dare you wear my crown?

Down...