Brendan Boehr
From Peppercascade
- Christian Name: Brendan Boehr
- Alias: Hivetool, Brother Boehr, Boehr Himself, Boehronymous
- Height: 5'8"
- Weight: about 11 Stone
- Known Group Affiliation:
Contents |
Personality and Talent
Brendan should be considered bearded and dangerous. his shortness of stature and his disarming smile have made many fall victim to his charms and puppets to his various schemes. Brendan Boehr sometimes writes [philosophical love stories] for his girlfriend.
Personal History
High School Years
Known political extremist, Alex Wiechern, included the following statement about Brendan in his best-seller memoirs:
The only human known to be born with a full beard, Brendan was able to buy all of his friends beer at the tender age of 12, this made him a natural leader and general friend to all. but with great power comes great responsibility, for Brendan can never shave his beard off. he tried once, and with in 1 hour, the beard was back and 3 men across town were dead, just dead, BAM, fell over, stone dead. Some say that it was the explosion of natural gas but we know the truth, it was the beard. he took this power to high school and became the president of Winkler School, and insisted that everybody called him El Presidante. He modeled his rule after his life long idol, Fedel Castro. he began to wear a green bandana and army fatigues to school. never seen without a cigar in his mouth, any teachers who complained were "transfered to other schools". few opposed him because the school was safe and because everybody enjoyed free education, the literacy rate of the school went through the roof. hailed as one of the greatest president the school has ever had, he burnt it to the ground once he graduated so that he could keep that title.
Currently, an impostor from the Faculty of Science at the University of Manitoba is pretending to be [Brendan Boehr]. Why someone would steal his name is not known, but it has been suggested that the impostor psychology major is seeking to piggyback on Brendan's formidable global reputation. This may be unnecessary in the long run, however, judging from the "U of M [Brendan Boehr's" stellar academic performance].
Academia
At 19 years old, [Brendan Boehr] was the youngest man to obtain an accredited doctorate in Neobiumphysioptology, from MIT in 1988. But because Neobiumphysioptology had been an unknown field before his 1997 undergraduate paper, Lesser Photonic Pellets and the Ulterior Ursus Quanta, some Pepper Theorists question the degree of prestige awarded to him. However, his popularity among academic circles assures that his theories, such as his theory on multidementional comet paramalsia (entitled "Galacta Neotronic Megasphere Theory"), will remain in the textbooks for many decades to come.
His rise to fame attracted the attention of The Red State, who offered him a luxurious position in their R&D department during the ceremony where boehr received his honorary Neobiumphysioptology degree. Boehr accepted and soon became the senior scientist at The Red State, working primarily on his Galacta Neotronic Megasphere Theory.
Falling Out
For reasons still unknown, Boehr disappeared from The Red State sometime during the summer of 1992. Some Pepper Theorists believe that he has joined the Pepper Permutation but they have not revealed their evidence.
Since Boehr's disappearance in late 1992, certain all-night diners have reported the increased demand for apple pancakes.
Associations with Terrorist Organizations
Some Pepper Theorists believe that Brendan Boehr is an active and high ranking member of the international terrorist group, The Pepper Cascade. However, Boehr has not been seen or heard since the 1993 Easter Island Zombie Epidemic where he was seen operating a "huge telescope/laser machine" days before the zombie outbreak.
This photo was taken by the critically acclaimed wartime photographer, Ashley Hoeppner, in Bolivia in 1997. Photo analysis suggests that the passenger is Brendan Boehr and that the driver is Church of Cheesus founder Jeremy Friesen (The Bolivian Wasp). What they were doing in Bolivia before the 1997 Bolivian Zombie Epidemic and the purpose of the red cargo truck following them remains a mystery. Some Pepper Theorists suspect that they were somehow involved with the zombie epidemic.
