Lost Butterfly Maiden
From Lavosbyssals
Lost Butterfly Maiden is a Daybreak Caste played by Lynne.
died for the beauty the one in the garden;
Age: 19
Birthdate: Calibration, RY 749
Birthplace: The Imperial City
Hair: Red
Eyes: Green
Skin: Ghostly pale
Height: 5' 11"
Weight: 130 lbs (including hair).
Image Song: Nightwish, "Dead Boy's Poem"
failed in becoming a god;
this dying music my loveletter to nobody;
Most people see only the outside shell that Sarien presents to the world: the hedonistic, sybaritic Cynis, so typical of others of his House, a pretty little wanton slut, as well as drunk most of the time. Often childlike in personality, and so very out of it, he seems as though he is either high on bright morning or had his mind fried by too many drugs, all the time. Part of that is true: Sarien is indeed drunk, or attempting to get drunk most of the time, as well as a hedonist (of sorts), but he's nowhere as shallow as he seems. Or even happy. He hates himself, deep down inside, lacks inner peace or even a focus most of the time. He cannot stand the idea of anyone else being hurt like he was, surprisingly compassionate for a member of House Cynis, a master of the laughing mask. He is too gentle and too compassionate for the world he was born into, more sweet then he ever should have been, and it breaks his already-broken heart into shards to witness the suffering of the world.
An unstable genius and expert tactician, Sarien's moods swing wildly, and he tends toward melancholy and depression, with no self-esteem or self-worth, with too much compassion besides: he puts more value in others then he does in himself. He knows that he is pretty, and sometimes down deep, believes that's all he is, the pretty shell (pretty yet never shone, only barely glowed). To try to erase the emptiness and depression he feels, he turns to alcohol and sex, though consciencely, he tries to deny that being the reason and tries to simply explain it as that he likes pleasure. Part of his desperation to bury himself in sex and have as many lovers as he can, is to try to erase, somehow, his memories of being a child, of being his elder brother Jalide's plaything.
He can enjoy it for a little while. And then, sometimes, afterwards, he weeps, when his partner(s) are asleep and cannot see him cry.
Sarien is also weak-willed, impulsive, prone to outbursts and behavior dangerous to himself, innately self-destructive, passively suicidal and with a clear submissive streak: he cannot say no, do anything for you he would, especially if it's related to sex, unless it involves hurting another person or those he cares about, is basically almost, if not completely, incapable of informed consent. Because, after all, he reasons, his body doesn't even really belong to him anymore, if ever it did in the first place, so what does it really matter? He's also incapable of setting outside limits for himself, sexually speaking: unless a partner puts their foot down and insists that enough is enough, he could be sore and bleeding and in no physical shape for sex, and yet try to seduce them into more. He has, and does, fake pleasure when he is not enjoying himself but believes it would please his partner(s) to think that he was enjoying himself: he relies on acting and facades a great deal.
At his worst, most melancholy, he cannot even summon up the will to get out of bed, though he disguises it by simply pretending he's lazy. He profoundly believes at the core of him that he is not only weak and worthless, but that it was his fault for everything that happened to him, that he is a whore, good for nothing but gratifying others' every desire, that what was done to him wasn't rape, that he consented somehow, that he wanted it. In many ways, he is still the frightened wounded child who both never grew up and grew up too fast, all at the same time. Lost, fragile of mind and heart and soul, he truly is Ophelia, wandering down secret halls and corridors, all alone.
He is an extraordinarily affectionate young man, especially considering everything that has been done to him, with an extraordinary amount of love to give, and equally affection-starved: however, he does not want to be loved or cared for, believing that he does not deserve it. That any chance he ever had for love was taken away from him, because who would ever want him if they knew what Jalide had done to him?
never sigh for better world;
Sarien is a slender, slight, young man, who looks to be about fourteen or fifteen, of about 5'11" though with such a slight build that he appears smaller, delicate-looking and not at all physically imposing. He looks to be a Dynast of impeccable breeding, and is unusually pale, with almost translucent, alabaster skin, easily bruised and marked, rather ghostly-looking with very long, thick, silky bright red hair that he usually keeps tied back into a long ponytail (unbound it falls to the ground), and deep, wide, startlingly green eyes, dressing most often in green, favoring fluttery, delicate, translucent, filmy silk robes that conceal barely anything and leave almost nothing up to the imagination, and a dark cloak, with both ears pierced: he wears delicate, finely worked earrings. He possesses a soulsteel chain shirt and a slim, light soulsteel reaper daiklave, crafted in such a way as to suit his delicate frame, and not overwhelm him. While tall, he is tiny of frame, with small hands and feet, far too thin for his own good, but proportioned in such a way that his slenderness only adds to his appeal, rather then subtracts, long-limbed and graceful. Delicately lovely, with breakable, otherworldly beauty, but surprisingly strong for someone who seems so fragile and frail (not to say that he is very strong, because he isn't), he is usually to be found smiling, a sweet smile: what most people don't see is that it's a false smile, that never seems to quite reach his eyes, because he long ago forgot how to really smile, a sweetly broken childlike smile. He carries himself with perfect, floating grace, somehow a vulnerable grace, attempting to project a false confidence and easygoing nature that is nothing but a facade.
He looks more like a porcelain doll then anything real, hauntingly beautiful and breakable and oh so delicate, a pretty toy more then a person, the sort of looks that could inspire dark thoughts of posession and covetousness in a good number of people, and have. He has the 'break me, use me, shatter me' look written all over him. Sweet-voiced, with a soft, musical low alto voice, he is easily mistaken for a woman. Or would be, if it wasn't for the fact his clothes reveal his lack of womanly curves.
As a woman, he appears much the same: too thin to have much in the way of breasts, with narrow, boyish hips, Girl!Sarien is just as androgynous as her usual self. Her lack of curves is less a masculine tendency, then simply the fact that she is much too thin for her own good, both as a girl and as a boy, and there just isn't enough there to have curves.
so much to live for so much to die for;
Name: Cynis Falen Sarien/Lost Butterfly Maiden
Caste: Daybreak
Concept: little child lost
Motivation:
Intimacies: Cynis Falen Lianna, belief that no one will ever want or love him if they knew about his past, belief that it was his fault and that he deserved all the abuse that he got, belief that he is weak and worthless and that he does not deserve to be loved or cared for, the innocent and helpless
Anima banner: shimmering black and shadow-silver wings that spread from his shoulders
Theme: "Dead Boy's Poem", Nightwish
Attributes:
Str: 2
Dex: 5
Sta: 2
Cha: 2
Man: 2
App: 4
Per: 2
Int: 5
Wits: 4
Caste Skills: Investigation 3, Occult 4 (Necromancy +1), Lore 3, Craft: Air 3
Favored Skills: Melee 3, Awareness 5, War 5 (Tactics +3), Performance 4, Dodge 5
Other Skills: Linguistics 3 (Native: High Realm, Low Realm, Riverspeak, Old Realm), Martial Arts 1, Resistance 3, Archery 1, Ride 1, Presence 1, Socialize 3, Athletics 3
Virtues:
Compassion: 5
Conviction: 1
Temperance: 1
Valor: 4
Willpower: 5
Essence: 3
Essence Pool:
Backgrounds:
Whispers 3
Artifact 3 (soulsteel reaper daiklave (Daylight Falls), soulsteel hearthstone bracers, soulsteel chain shirt, soulsteel collar of dawn's cleansing light)
Manse 3 (Stone of Gender-Transformation)
Necromancy 1
Merits:
Tactical Instincts
Flaws:
Nightmares
Derangement: Melancholia
Derangement: Delusions
Enemy: 3 (Cynis Falen Jalide)
Addiction: alcohol
Addiction: sex
Conviction Vice: Cynis Falen Jalide (autofails Conviction rolls when he is confronted by his brother/in the same area as him)
JB: 9
DDV: 9
PDV: 6
MDV: 4
MPV: 3
Charms:
Resistance: Ox-Body Technique x 1
War: 2nd War Excellency, Mob-Dispersing Rebuke
Dodge: 3rd Dodge Excellency, Shadow Over Water (Abyssal equivalent)
Melee: 2nd Melee Excellency
Performance: Second Performance Excellency
Occult: Shadowlands Circle Necromancy
Necromancy: Iron Countermagic, Shattered Void Mirror, Dusk Eyes, Gentle Call of Lethe, Midnight Shadow Sun
if only my heart had a home;
Total XP: 5
Unspent: 5
Spent: 0
Bought:
i live no more to shame nor me nor you;
Cynis Falen Jalide
Cynis Falen Lianna
Cathak Gaius Gan Ning
sing what you can't say;
forget what you can't play;
time will tell (this bitter farewell);
sing what you can`t say/forget what you can`t play/hasten to drown into beautiful eyes/walk within my poetry, this dying music/- my loveletter to nobody
