Jack Handy
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*Instead of studying for finals, what about just going to the Bahamas and catching some rays? Maybe you'll flunk, but you might have flunked anyway; that's my point. | *Instead of studying for finals, what about just going to the Bahamas and catching some rays? Maybe you'll flunk, but you might have flunked anyway; that's my point. | ||
*A good way to threaten somebody is to light a stick of dynamite. Then you call up the guy and hold the burning fuse to the phone. "Hear that?" you say. "That's dynamite, baby." | *A good way to threaten somebody is to light a stick of dynamite. Then you call up the guy and hold the burning fuse to the phone. "Hear that?" you say. "That's dynamite, baby." | ||
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*If you saw two guys named Hambone and Flippy, which one would you think liked dolphins the most? I'd say Flippy, wouldn't you? You'd be wrong, though. It's Hambone. | *If you saw two guys named Hambone and Flippy, which one would you think liked dolphins the most? I'd say Flippy, wouldn't you? You'd be wrong, though. It's Hambone. | ||
*If you rob a bank, and your pants fall down, its okay to laugh. and let your hostages laugh too, because come on, life is funny. | *If you rob a bank, and your pants fall down, its okay to laugh. and let your hostages laugh too, because come on, life is funny. | ||
*Why can't the ant and the caterpillar just get along? One eats grass, the other eats Caterpillars... Oh, I see now. | *Why can't the ant and the caterpillar just get along? One eats grass, the other eats Caterpillars... Oh, I see now. | ||
Revision as of 20:58, 25 March 2006
Jack Handey is an American comedian and comic writer. He is famous for his Deep Thoughts, a large body of surrealistic one-liner jokes, as well as his "Fuzzy Memories" and "My Big Thick Novel" shorts.
Deep Thoughts
- Instead of studying for finals, what about just going to the Bahamas and catching some rays? Maybe you'll flunk, but you might have flunked anyway; that's my point.
- A good way to threaten somebody is to light a stick of dynamite. Then you call up the guy and hold the burning fuse to the phone. "Hear that?" you say. "That's dynamite, baby."
- If you saw two guys named Hambone and Flippy, which one would you think liked dolphins the most? I'd say Flippy, wouldn't you? You'd be wrong, though. It's Hambone.
- If you rob a bank, and your pants fall down, its okay to laugh. and let your hostages laugh too, because come on, life is funny.
- Why can't the ant and the caterpillar just get along? One eats grass, the other eats Caterpillars... Oh, I see now.
