Necromonica the WereDevil
From Finsters Place For Made Up People The Tbs Wiki
NARRATOR: In the 1910s, the world's first animated film, Gertie the Dinosaur, stunned audiences. In 2002, High Score was created. And now comes 2005, the year where the internet cartoon, Bonus Stage, is so popular, so off the charts, that Joel Dawson and Phil Argus are making over 20 billion people laugh. Lunchboxes, commemorative glasses, Wendy's kids meals. Every moment in history, every milestone in civilization, was leading up to this day.
{A logo with 'MTV Presents Bonus Stage: Revealed' appears}
{Cut to Will Ferrell}
WILL: Hello! I'm Will Ferrell look-alike, and you're watching Bonus Stage: Revealed, the special dedicated to the launch of the brand new Bonus Stage episode 65: Phil the WereDevil. We have the creators here live, but first, a sneak preview of the upcoming episode 65. Take it away!
{Cut to Phil and a Sea Person}
SEA PERSON: Over here we have the snack bar...
{Cut back to Will Ferrell and Li'l Jon}
WILL: Well wasn't that incredible? Now we're here with Li'l Jon. Li'l Jon, do you watch Bonus Stage?
LI'L JON: Well, I watch all the cartoons on the Cartoons Network.
WILL: But what about Bonus Stage?
LI'L JON: I watch Dexter...
WILL: Yeah.
LI'L JON: Powerpuff Girls... Rugrats...
WILL: Ok, th-that's not even the same channel. Li'l Jon...
LI'L JON: GET OUT MY FACE!!!
{Cut to Will Ferrell with Joel and Phil}
WILL: I'm here with the creators of Bonus Stage: Joel Dawson and Phil Argus. Joel, let me ask you a bit about the creation process of the cartoon: what is your favorite rap group?
JOEL: Well to start off with- Wha, I... I rap. I am my own rap group, I am Jugulous Joel. {a title box below him states: Joel Dawson; Co-creator, Writer, Actor} I have a split CD coming out with Method and Red, there're as many tracks as there are episodes of their TV show.
WILL: Phil, you seem like the character focused actor, so this question feels appropriate. Who do you want to see win at this years' Inferno?
Phil: {looks happy to answer, then confused and annoyed} Uh, wha - What is that?
WILL: It's the annual Road Rules versus Real World competition.
PHIL: What are those?
WILL: They're TV shows. They are - They're our biggest hits.
PHIL: You guys have the lowest ratings in television, how can you have a hit? {a title box below him states: Phil Argus; Big douchebag and dramabomba. As he speaks his eyes pop out of his head to carry the box away.} First of all - Second of all, me and Joel were paid to sit here, shut up, and enjoy the won-ton commercialization without solicitation. So unless you have some real questions to ask us, we'd like it if you would just sit in a corner somewhere.
WILL: {checks his cards} Uh, do you... um, no. Uh, Wha - what do you think of, video games?
PHIL: {points to the corner} Sit, Inuyasha... Ferrell. Inuyasha is feral.
WILL: As I do that, here's another sneak peek at Episode 65: Phil The WereDevil.
{cut to Phil, wearing a fishbowl helmet, underwater as green spikes grow from his elbows. An evil clown and Joel, with a Rya and Jessica mixed body, are in the background.}
PHIL: Oh no, I'm gonna turn into a WEREDEVIL!!
{cut back to the "MTV Presents" Logo. Then to Joel and Phil looking up at a monitor in a backroom.}
JOEL: Phil, I gotta say, usually I do something, I don't think it through... I just let events unfold in their typical caustic, reckless, devil may cry, trample down the field with all hell's fury, way... And things turn out OK, but this time, I'm thinkin' I may have gone over the edge.
PHIL: Well, I told you signing a deal with the devil was bad. I told you! I frickin' told you a million times over!
{cut to Phil, Joel and Satan in Hell}
PHIL: DO IT! DO IT! DO IT! DO IT! DO IT!
{cut back}
PHIL: Now I have nothing to do with this. Popularity is nice and all, but now we're trapped.
JOEL: What are you talking about? We can always escape. A grape escape.
PHIL: Haven't you seen what happens in those Jack Chick tracks?
JOEL: Uh, something about black people being birthed from Satan's genitalia?
PHIL: Not that one! The other one!
JOEL: There's lots of Jack Chick tracks man.
PHIL: The one about us! {holds up some paper}
{quick shot of a two-panel strip. Joel holds Phil's dead body and exclaims, "NO PHIL! If only I didn't have night after night of passionate gay sex with you in the demonic butthole!!" In the next panel Joel prays in a beam of light, "Let me not forget my grievious mistake, Oh Lord, SAVE ME!"}
JOEL: Man, I look nothing like that. Talk about creative liberties.
{cut to Xzibit}
XZIBIT: Joel, we took your cartoon down to West Coast Customs. Mike, What'chu do for my man Joel?
{cut to Phil and Joel in a scene from Virtual Combat, as Mike does a voice over}
MIKE: Joel likes the NES, so we gonna put the NES in your cartoon. Phil likes poetry, so we gonna hook you up with some dope-ass poetry man, how 'bout that?
{cut back to Joel and Phil}
JOEL: So what do you wanna do, cancel the special and return to mediocre, under-performing web cartoons?
PHIL: Yes! Well, no. I want to become a backup dancer to Tina Turner. This goal is secondary.
JOEL: Why Tina Turner?
PHIL: Because at sixty-something, girl has got it goin' on!
JOEL: I wish you wouldn't say things like that ever again.
PHIL: Shoot, there's little time left in the special, we've got to stop it!
JOEL: RUN! {Phil runs into the wall next to a door} To the door and open it gently!
Phil: We need to take out the control room. Alright Rufus, it's Showtime! {he opens his pocket and a skeleton falls out} Noooooo, why did you never tell me you were hungry?! {weeps} Alright, I guess it's up to you Joel, just smash away as usual.
JOEL: Right, smash away.
PHIL: Yep, I'll divert attention.
JOEL: Because that's what I do.
PHIL: Yeah
JOEL: Is smash.
{cut to Phil onstage}
PHIL: All right gentlemen, the moment you've all been waiting for, here's the world premier of Episode 65!
{pan up to a screen behind Phil as the opening credits start to play}
PHIL: There, that could buy us approximately sixty seconds.
{cut to Joel behind a control panel}
JOEL: Let's see, what button do I push?
{cut back to Phil}
PHIL: Just smash it! Do the baseball bat thing!
JOEL: Uh, let me check the manual.
PHIL: JOEL!
JOEL: Let's see... Get out of town, this thing has Noise Gate?!
PHIL: Well, we're doomed.
(Plese put that anti Fairy Version of Phil the WereDevil here)
