Tiptoe back downstairs, carefully avoiding your neighbours

From Create Your Own Story

Remembering that you're not wearing anything under your short dress and preferring not to display what's beneath to whomever happens to look upwards, you decide to leave by the front door like the normal, civilized person you aren't. As you take a moment to adjust your boots, you hear the commotion continuing downstairs; it sounds like several voices now, and you figure the kids must have come in and are taking advantage of their parents' distraction to start a fire or something. Best to proceed with caution.

You ease your door open and immediately gasp in horror - waiting outside your bedroom door is none other than your landlord himself, flanked by two enormous club-wielding goons!

He waves what appears to be a gold nugget in front of your face. You know it's actually dog feces, painted yellow, because you gave it to him - you've been paying your rent with these "nuggets" since you moved in.

"Had a look at your 'real Carpathian gold,'" your landlord whispers menacingly.

You note with both dismay and disgust that your landlord appears to have bitten into this particular "nugget" to see if it was real.

The thugs menacingly heft their clubs, grinning lecherously. This has been an absolutely awful morning, even by your standards. On the verge of a full-blown panic, you:

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