From Create Your Own Story

In the year 2018, the Earth has been ruined. There's garbage everywhere, it's all hot and everything, just awful. The earth has been evacuated city by city, sent away on ships through space for planets light-years away. The plan is for every passenger to be in hybernation for the many decades of travel, and to awaken in the final three year stretch of their 100-year journey. And luckily, that happens. No drama at all. Everyone reaches the new destination safely and happily. Of course, life isn't that simple. Not for B̶i̶g̶d̶i̶c̶k̶ ̶M̶c̶G̶e̶e̶ Roy Fibber, a completely average but insanely lucky engineering student on board the S.S. Las Angeles. One day you are released from your hypersleep, and flop onto a cold metallic floor. With all the grace of a newborn 23 year old, you stand and look around, wearing only your space-underwear, and covered in pod-juice. Even though you aren't too bright, it doesn't take long to realise that no one else is awake. You stand in an enormous cavernous space, the walls lined with the pods of all the residents of L.A. It looks almost as if you're in a giant-scale wine cellar - and the whole expanse is deafeningly quiet. "Fuck." You say. This turns out to be a mistake in the pod-chamber, as with nothing to slow it or drown it out, your syllable echoes all around for the next few days. As you explore the rest of the ship, it quickly becomes clear that you're the only passenger awake on the ship - with another 70 years left in the journey.

For the most part it's actually pretty nice even. Every day you get drunk off of wine, play around in the basketball courts, jerk off on the bar just because you can (typical guy stuff), and investigate the central computer room. It doesn't take long for you to figure out that your accidental awakening was no more than an error in the system - indeed you think you may even be able to figure out a way to rig yourself back into the pod. But you hesitate - a distant memory harkened back to a movie you saw long ago. Some sci-fi disaster film in which Chris Evans tricks Jennifer Lopez into fucking him or something - whatever the movie was called, it's name was forgotten by this passenger. But you realised, looking at that computer, that you had a tremendous opportunity here. All your life you had had one ambition - one which drove you to L.A. and convinced you to wake up every morning. You had an overwhelming desire to fuck a celebrity. Since you were 12 you had only ever masturbated to film sex scenes, and the only girlfriend you had ever had, you had chosen solely because she sounded just about like Mila Kunis (as for her looks, well you took a break from contact lenses for a while). You once even invited Bill Cosby for a drink, which he declined, dashing any possibilities there. But you, with your immense luck, highly questionable morals, minor computer capabilities, and cornucopia of celebrities to choose from - you finally had your chance to sleep with any celebrity of your choosing. NotMila (as you had known her by the end of your short relationship) said that she would never come back to you if you were the last man on earth. Well Earth is gone, baby. And B̶i̶g̶d̶i̶c̶k̶ Roy was the most eligible conscious bachelor in the ship. The only thing to do now, was make your decision.

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