Masochist me
From Create Your Own Story
Warning: This will involve abuse of the main character. If misuse and abuse is not something you are interested in, then it is recommended to not read this story.
This story, unlike other CYOS stories, will not be about controlling the character, as much as controlling what happens to her, normally through control of the other characters. The character will be the object, not the subject, although the story will be written from her perspective.
Interviewer: Tell me a little bit about how it started.
Me: Well, it all started when I was young. Very young. I think I was like 3. I would get in trouble, and, remember, this was from a time when it was still acceptable, my parents would spank me.
Interviewer: I don't understand. Even I was spanked when I was young.
Me: Yes, but how did you respond?
Interviewer: Well, I cried, of course. Every child cries when they are spanked.
I shook my head.
Me: I didn't.
Interviewer: Really?
He looked at me strangely.
Interviewer: What did you do?
I laughed.
Me: Well, I cried. I guess it is still natural. But, I enjoyed it. The first memory I have is getting spanked. Then, spanking myself. Sadly, it didn't really hurt. Not like it did when my dad spanked me.
Interviewer: That is...strange.
Me: Well, you wouldn't be here, interviewing me, if I was normal, now would you?
He shook his head no.
Interviewer: So, you, reacted...differently to being spanked.
Me: Not just to being spanked. It was, well, everything.
Interviewer: Like?
Me: For example, when I got thumped, I remember repeatedly thumping myself. When my mom smacked my mouth, I remember smacking my own mouth after, over and over again.
Interviewer: So, why do you think you did that? What caused you to want to do that?
Me: Caused it? I don't think anything caused it. It just seemed I was...different. I was wired to enjoy it, or something.
Interviewer: That can't be right. Humans avoid pain, it is part of who we are.
Me: I don't. Oh, I avoid things that would actually cause damage, or scar, or things like that. I don't disfigure myself, or self harm or anything. I just...enjoy pain and humiliation.
Me: Anyways, we should get back to what we were discussing. What made me the person sitting before you.
Interviewer: Yes, please.
Me: Anyways, so, I found myself sort of enjoying the pain. I guess I was a bit of a wild child. Oh, I loved my parents. But, they didn't seem to understand. They kept giving me what I wanted when I didn't do what they wanted me to. You know, same thoughts as most people have.
Interviewer: So, to you, they rewarded you, with a spanking, a smack, something like that, for the wrong behavior.
I nodded.
Me: Exactly. It was like you getting a candy. My parents were at their wits end. Eventually, as I got older, I started understanding how much I was hurting them, upsetting them. I guess I sort of turned inward. I stopped acting up to get rewarded, and instead started just...rewarding myself.
Interviewer: How so?
Me: Well, when I went to bed, I would take my belt, spank myself, over and over and over, until my butt was bright red, hot, felt aflame. I would go to sleep, enjoying the heat, the pain, raising from my butt.
Interviewer: Oh.
Me: My shrink calls it sexual masochism disorder or algolagnia. They classify it as class IV, or exclusive masochism. I cannot form typical romantic relationships and cannot achieve orgasm without pain or humiliation. But, I also do not go beyond a certain point, where I will be scarred or disfigured. Or even seriously injured. The only time I have had a broken bone was due to skiing, not due to my masochism.
Interviewer: Wait, you mean, when you were young, and doing this, it was for sexual gratification?
Me: No, obviously not. That did not come until I was older.
Interviewer: So, tell me about it.
- My first pain encounter
- My first humiliation encounter
- My first link with sexuality
- No, I think we understand how you are...different. Lets move on to now.
