Karajou
From Conservapedia
Karajou: A Poem
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He's always happy
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And in a cheerful mood,
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When he looks up and see his plate
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Filled with lots of food.
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He picks his teeth in public,
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And he is very rude.
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There’s stretch marks on his elbows
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‘Cause he eats lots of food.
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Everybody is laughing at him;
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They’re calling him a fool;
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They say Brian will have a heart attack
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If he keeps eating food.
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They scorn and ridicule him
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But he ain’t gonna brood;
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‘Cause they don’t seem to understand
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That Brian's in love with food!
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He eats food when sleeping,
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And when he's wide awake--
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Even when he's on the pot
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he's got to have his steak.
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Mashed potatoes and gravy,
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Salad and things to chew,
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Soup and bread and beans and fruit
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And cheese that stinks--pee-you.
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Mostaciolli, pizza pie,
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Tuna fish and pickles,
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When that food goes his throat
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It just slides and tickles.
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Cornish hens and hot beef stew,
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A smelly seafood plate,
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Liver sausage sandwiches--
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There ain’t a food he hates!
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His stomach hurts, he's got the cramps.
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he needs some food right now.
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Although Brian ate an hour ago
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he still needs lots more chow.
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Good man, kind sir,
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Dear lady dressed in blue,
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Have some pity on his soul
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And pass him that tray of food.
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Pass it if it’s hot or cold,
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Even if it’s stale.
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Even though his belly’s full
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he could eat a whale.
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Pass it if it’s cooked or raw,
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Brian doesn’t give a damn.
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Food is food is what Brian says,
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Let's have that case of Spam.
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Polish sausage, Quiche Lorraine,
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Chicken Cacciatore,
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If you don’t give him lots more food,
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Things may get kind of gory.
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Apple pies and chocolate malts,
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Some pudding and whipped cream.
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Give Brian lots more food to eat
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Or he’ll turn very mean.
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Brian’ll sit on youse, you silly fools
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So don’t push him too hard.
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If you don’t want to suffocate
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You’ll pass him that tub of lard.
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Now pass those plates and pass them now--
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Don’t bother saying grace.
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Just keep that food a comin’ in
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And watch Brian stuff his face Chomp, chomp, chomp; chew, chew, chew—
To eat is so much fun.
If I keep going on this way
I’ll weigh at least a ton.