Zane Lowe

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Zane Lowe is a foreign DJ, most famous for destroying priceless classics of musical genius, and playing great sing-a-long songs about half the way through, and cutting out the best bits of a song. Basically, he's a vandal. He is especially noted for his great friendship with fellow vandal, Rich Costey.

Attempted Assassinations

There have been many attempted assassinations on Lowe, but, seeing as all assassins are female, they have been unable to kill him after falling in love with his amazing great looks when looking through the scope. The government have been desperately looking for a male assassin, but have had no luck so far. It was recently discovered that Lowe is one of many few invulnerable to the Rage virus, after an attempted assassination using the virus in 2007.

Current whereabouts

Lowe is a wanted criminal after President Howard declared his DJ mixing a disgrace to the country during Muse's earth-shattering gig at Wembley Stadium. A £4,000,000 (or $8,000,000 if he's gone home) reward has been placed on his head, however, no-one is able to locate him. He is rumoured to be living inside of a caravan in space.

Disability

• After being dropped on his head as a baby he developed ADHD and as such loses interest in the music he plays. This has led to him being incapable of finishing a single song when he DJs.
• He can't shit. It is unknown whether this is because Rich Costey socked him or if he's just so up himself he won't admit to having such crass bodily functions.