Jasmine

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Revision as of 12:58, 27 July 2007 by Jasmine (Talk | contribs)
This page is loved by the Ninja Corp.
Ninjas love this page, usually because it's just totally odd and or awesome.
Tampering with this page in a major way will make the Ninjas unhappy. Ask the Piratees what that feels like.
      Whoops! Maybe you were looking for James? Blame Mike.
Jasmine. <3
sunburnt_atheist, also known as Jasmine Lewis, is the hottest emo alive. She was voted 'Hottest Emo Ever' in a recent awards show.

Contents

Early life

Jazzy was born in 1987, to Fall Out Boy and a monkey. Her parents divorced after her father's comeback single; "This Ain't a Seed, It's Some Arse Rape" only reached number 4. Her mother was later captured by a zoo keeper, so Jasmine was left to fend for herself. When she was 10, Jasmine created Muselive, but kept the idea to herself, and chose to take a job! at the emo club disco instead.

Her emo-ness and total hotness

Dude, she's like.... woah. If you've not seen this girl then you need to. I would, James would if he could, Auburn has.

Jasmine. Emo girls are so fucking hot, no?
She has several distinctive features:

Breasts

She has two, they're large and firm - everything you want from a hot 20 year old girl - seriously, if you haven't tried to nail this chick then you should consider getting nailed by her alter-ego James instead. The breasts are so amazing they have their own country

Legs

Go on, just imagine them wrapped around you, you know you want it.

Arse

Just watch how it moves as she walks, have you ever seen anything so perfect? It's like a peach straight out of the Garden of Eden.

Basically, you want her. You know you do.

Ambitions

  • Nail her wife.
  • Overcome the social stigma of being emo.
  • Contract the Rage virus. And survive.
  • Take over the world by replacing Wikipedia with the vastly superior, more acurate and infinitely more interesting Bluesockapedia.
==Warnings on Muselive==
Jasmine the butterfly. Because she can.

Jasmine is the only user on Muselive to have more warnings than anyone else, while also not yet being banned, OR triggering a "last warning before a ban" warning. Impressive, she's got six so far.

  • 16-09-2006 05:29 - Normal warning : Wogan Spam
  • 11-01-2007 08:43 - Normal warning : Bullying Periodboy
  • 12-01-2007 06:33 - Normal warning : Being too witty to Periodboy
  • 14-03-2007 13:33 - Normal warning : Laughing in the face of the truth - (infact a real warning, for the PANIC! joke)
  • 13-05-2007 13:10 - Normal warning : Yet More Wogan Spam
  • 20-05-2007 13:15 - Normal warning : Bullying

SuperAndy has promised Jasmine a trophy if she gets ten warnings.

Sex object

Jasmine is just that, a sex object for every hot-blooded male, and sometimes, females of the world. If you ask her nicely, I'm sure she'd be up for anything.

Jazzy Facts

  • Is the world's hottest emo.
  • Is a virgin.
  • Had an emo make-out session with Zvexmanson, however, he is unaware of it ever happening.

Jasmine's Hitlist

Jasmine's Hitlist is one of the most important documents and websites in the world. It contains a daily update of every single person who has:

  • Looked at Jasmine in the wrong way
  • Has looked at Jasmine's arse for less than 2 minutes
  • Irritated Jasmine
  • Called Jasmine a big crying emo baby

As of July 2007, there are 394 people on the list.

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