Curtis Riley
From Betweenlines
QYk7uX Really informative article post.Much thanks again. Fantastic.
[edit] Things I Remember
I've always been good at running. A few years ago when I started getting online a lot, I got into Parkour. It was hard. That's really the only word for it. Teaching yourself a punishing sport with a decent risk of injury sucks, but I did it. I guess I liked the freedom and the risk, sometimes pain feels good, y'know? Makes you feel a little more human inside and keeps things a bit real. The other big thing was Andrea, she was something else. I met her a few months after I started teaching myself parkour when I fell off of the side of a parking garage and damn near broke my leg, not to speak of the ribs I cracked. She bandaged me up and treated me real nice. After a while, we started going out, and at first it was great. But like always with people, things just got bogged down. She worried about me wherever I went, thinkin' I might hurt myself too badly. And I worried about her wherever she went, thinkin' somebody else might hurt her. We never really did a lot of relationship things, more like we were pals, but we had the bad sense to slap a relationship label on it. Before I came to college, we broke up. We still talk but now things are really awkward... Anyways, college! I managed to get a track&field scholarship to the college, so I might be able to make something of myself if I can stay on top of everything.
[edit] Things that I think about
I really like to hang around with other people when I'm not running. It just feels relaxed and nice to not hold everything together, to have a few hours where it's distinctly not about me. I just get so angry over stupid things sometimes that it ruins my relationships with people though. I really don't wanna act tough, or like I need to be the best, but it just happens sometimes and it's so frustrating! I tried talking to a counselor about this stuff, but he just made me feel weird and I got even angrier at him, it was all I could do to keep from chucking his computer at the wall. I don't wanna go back there again, so I'm taking his advice and trying some things I'm not the best at in friendly environments, see if I can get used to letting other people have the spotlight. He thinks maybe I won't be so territorial then, I dunno, it seems like a bunch of garbage to me. The worst part about talking to him is he keeps bringing everything back to Andrea, and how he thinks I get upset because I can't build proper relationships, even with people I trust and like. He started telling me I should get touchy-feely with people, and he even gave me a phamplet on "normal healthy sex-interests," the nerve! I just never really paid any attention to that kind of mush, it never felt like it was the right time... I dunno, maybe I am just a head-case...
Now there's this girl Esther across the hall from me. She's really nice, but she's kind of off. I don't know if I like her or not, some weird things happened between us, sorta... God, why couldn't I live in gender-segregated dorms
[edit] Things that Other People See
I guess I'm well built and nice looking. I can take a hit alright if it gets into it, and I can slug one back. A lot of people tell me I look kind of distant, or they think I'm not paying attention, like my mind's off running, even though I slowed down to chat. I like to wear a lot of simple cheap clothes in case I have a nasty fall and they get torn up. I don't like a lot of big fashion, or any of that new "buying torn clothes" stuff.
Dehumanization - Paper for Ethics
Nightmares - I keep having the same bad dream
