Capp 90

From Asaction

Revision as of 03:52, 2 July 2007

Capp_90 is the self proclaimed king of AD, elected by popular vote. He is the commanding general of a group of bandits known as the Purple Hurricanes. This group consists of his Leutenant CAC, his Private E74U, and his Chief of Sardines *blank*. Other members of his naval corps include barfkid, J Dubb, and his sidekick KnightStar. This is his story...

The Beginning of AWESOME!!!

Capp, as so many of his loyal followers commonly refer to him as, was merely your typical High School Junior, until one day a mutant spider bit its fangs into his testicles, causing an evolutionary growth in the young mans already swollen balls. It was this day that Capp discovered his latent powers that would one day save the lives of countless Americans, except for those who live in Utah. These powers include the Gift of Gab, Capp's most well known trait, or what the cruel and extremely gay moderators often refer to as "spam." It was with this power that Capp delivered unto this world the most sacred thread that His Highest can possibly bestow upon us.

Early Days

Capp, but a lowely Shady, began his AD days at the bleach spoiler thread, where he often debated with his forefathers over detergents and the effects of mixing reds with whites. This was done for a while, until Capp suddenly got the Bizarro Syndrome and started spending most of his time in IB. Those were dark days....

The First Spam Thread

Among his time in AD, Capp came across CAC, a lonely, decrepid, and often times spat upon excuse of a man. Together, they were unstoppable! For weeks they patroled around the AD, completely destroying any new Zeni thread that got in their way. One day a thread by the name of "Bring Evangelion Back" came across their eyes. Within seconds of its creation, Capp proclaimed it as his own with his famous declaration "This won't last long..." This thread became the headquarters of his original spam thread, the fruitition of his namesake. This is where he gained his popularity and formed his group of marauders.

It was on the day that would come to live in infamy (I forget which day, I think it was a Friday) that Capp would hit his first wall. The spam thread was deleted, just short of reaching 50 pages. Capp was crushed, scared, and mutilated. Horribly, horribly mutilated. But do not fret faithful readers, for this did not keep him down for long. This atrocity brought upon the creation of his monumental achievement, "Capp_90's Spammy Spam Thread Complete With Spam!!!"

A History of Spam

Quickly, his spam thread grew to godly proportions. Within 3 days it reached 50 pages, a feat his previous couldn't do in months. Located in the IB, this thread soon became the toast of the town. Tourists from all around the world came to marvel at this behemoth. Children gawked, birds flocked, women took their tops off and threw them onto the stage as souvenirs. Everywhere far and wide people came to worship this thread. It was bigger than Jesus, and we all know how big he is.

All things went swell for a couple of days, until on (What was it? A saturday?)......ONE day Capp was crushed yet again. His spam thread was crucified once more, reaching 65 pages in merely a week, leaving all it's inhabitants to wander in the endless abyss of the IB. Frightened, disheartened, and with a slight hint of an erection, Capp quickly assembled his crew and re-directed their gazes back to AD, which welcomed them back with open arms. All were cheery, until Capp was caught with one hand down his pants and the other with too many chat posts to grasp.

Capp Get's The Banstick

Yeah, I got banned.

Capp Bounces Back

After waiting a long 13 day period, Capp returned to open arms, and maybe a couple chain whips, and was welcomed back wholely.

Capp Gets Banned Again!

On June of the 18th day, 2007 Capp was banned yet again. This time, the charges against him were "Spamming to increase post count." Earlier that day, Capp was frequenting AD throughout, posting in any thread he found remotely interesting. He was at the post count of 4780, so very VERY close to getting 100 posts that day. Capp was sick and tired of being stuck in the 4000s, having been there for a good 3 months on account of the homo mods always deleting his threads before he can get past 5000, and he wanted to "post-up" as quickly as possible. It was approaching midnight, at which point AD had basically died down for the evening. Capp, seeing as he hadn't posted for 30 minutes, was getting worried. Then he thought of a seemingly brilliant strategy to increase his post count by the end of the night. He decided to go into random "dead threads" and post "+1...+3...+11..." and so on until he reached 4800. He did so, and upon peaking at the suggested number Capp decided he'd leave for the evening. The next morning when he tried to log on, low and behold he realized he was banned. Needless to say Capp is pissed. Upon his return, Capp decides to declare war on the mods and anyone who decides to get in his way. But Capp knows he's not gonna, having lost his spine in the War of '02.

Capp's Relationship With His Subordinates

Capp_90 enjoys torturing his subordinates for their ignorance, mainly *blank* for using Capp_90's likeness in the form of an alt by the name of Capp_99. Needless to say Capp had to slap a bitch. He has also dunked CAC's head in a fish tank for puting tomatoes on his sandwich, strangled KnightStar for looking at his woman, and stir-fried E74U's puppy for not taping Capp's favorite show. Many have accused Capp of using unorthodox methods as punishment, to which Capp replied with an angry letter......WRITTEN IN POISON!

Recently, Capp issued his vote of approval to his cohort J Dubb, President of the many SPI threads. Even though Capp currently resides as a low ranking member, even having to answer to his own subordinate CAC, this does not bother Capp. He now sees both followers mentioned as his equals, and even treats J Dubb as his superior, though Capp still retains his rights to carry out corporal punishment on his own subordinates above all else. So many ass beatings, so many...

Capp_90's Immortal Quotes

Capp_90's long array of hillarious and thought provoking quotes include of some of these timeless classics....

"Get out of my house."

"Get outta MY house"

"Get out of this house which is mine!"

"Get out of my chair!"

"GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!!!!"

"My house, it is invaded by the likes of you. Please remove yourself from the premisces."

And the fan favorite "What joo talkin' 'bout Willis? This is MY house! And you need ta get yer ass outta it, right now!"