Alch
From Alch
Alch (born November 11, 1985) is the truth.
Contents |
Biography
Beginnings
Alch started with a middle-class life under the rule of those who birthed him. Though Alch never speaks of those who birthed him, they are assumed to be gods, creators of creation, as only such magnitudal forces could have ever brought he who we know as Alch into existence. Through his childhood, he was known as a "wild child"; he often found himself in all sorts of trouble. His parents knew not what to do with him. He would skip brushing his teeth, not do his homework, use magnifying glasses on ants, kill small innocent girls and rape their corpses while skinning them with a rusty knife so he could wear the skin later, and eat candy before dinner. Eventually, his parents became fed up with his antics, and he was forced to move with his auntie and uncle in Bel-Air.
He whistled for a cab, and when it came near, the license plate said "Fresh" and it had dice in the mirror. If anything, Alch could say that this cab was rare, but he thought, "Man, forget it. Yo homes, to Bel-Air!" He pulled up to their house about seven or eight, and he yelled to the cabbie, "Yo homes, smell ya later!" He looked at his kingdom; he was finally there to sit at his throne as the prince of Bel-Air.
Yugimonz
Eventually, Alch became a fan of yugimonz. He ended up teaching the game to his cousin, known only as yugi-god. yugi-god one day found himself amidst the likes of Sane Orange, Blaid the Dancing Sponge, and Vamp, colloquially known as the Chaotic Union of Narcissistic Teammates. Despite yugi-god's faith in the powers of La Jinn, the Mystical Genie of the Lamp, he would often fall at the hands of these fine folk. One day, however, yugi-god returned with a yugimonz built by Alch, and proceeded to humiliate all of them with much gusto. Upon discovery that yugi-god's deck was built by another, the Union proceeded to track down this mysterious do-untoer. Eventually, they found Alch, and after rigorous beatings, swore him into the Union.
Within the Union
As part of the Chaotic Union of Narcissistic Teammates, Alch did a lot of stuff. Mostly, beat everyone else. Especially Blaid, that frood.
Family
Aside from his cousin yugi-god, no known blood relatives of Alch's are known. However, it cannot be stressed enough that Alch has a hot wife.
