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| - | -->{{Infobox actor
| + | '''Alch''' (born November 11, 1985) is the truth. |
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| - | | name = Alch
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| - | | image = http://i86.photobucket.com/albums/k95/SaneOrange/Dobbshead.jpg
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| - | | imagesize = 200px
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| - | | caption = This man's head is made of morse code!
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| - | | birthname = Amnael Alchemist
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| - | | birthdate = November 11, 1985
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| - | | location = YOUR DEATH
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| - | | deathdate =
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| - | | deathplace =
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| - | | height =
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| - | | othername =
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| - | | homepage = [http://editthis.info/alch/ Alch.]
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| - | | notable role = Alch
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| - | | academyawards =
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| - | | spouse = [[Alch has a hot wife]].
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| - | }}
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| - | '''Carlos Ray "Chuck" Norris''' (born [[March 10]], [[1940]]) is an [[United States|American]] [[martial art]]ist, action star, and [[Hollywood]] actor. | + | |
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| | ==Biography== | | ==Biography== |
| | ===Beginnings=== | | ===Beginnings=== |
| - | [[Image:Chuck Norris (1976).jpg|thumb|150px|right|Chuck Norris in 1976, photo by Alan Light]] | + | [[Image:dobbshead.jpg|thumb|150px|right|Head made of morse code.]] Alch started with a middle-class life under the rule of those who birthed him. Though Alch never speaks of those who birthed him, they are assumed to be gods, creators of creation, as only such magnitudal forces could have ever brought he who we know as Alch into existence. Through his childhood, he was known as a "wild child"; he often found himself in all sorts of trouble. His parents knew not what to do with him. He would skip brushing his teeth, not do his homework, use magnifying glasses on ants, kill small innocent girls and rape their corpses while skinning them with a rusty knife so he could wear the skin later, and eat candy before dinner. Eventually, his parents became fed up with his antics, and he was forced to move with his auntie and uncle in Bel-Air. |
| - | A native of [[Ryan, Oklahoma]], Norris has two younger brothers, Wieland and Aaron Norris, the latter of whom is a Hollywood producer. Norris was born to an [[alcoholism|alcoholic]] father, half Irish and half [[Cherokee]]. Norris's mother is also half Irish and half Cherokee.<ref>"At Dinner with: Chuck Norris", ''[[The New York Times]]'', May 12, 1993</ref> Norris is very proud of his Native American heritage, and frequently referred to his origins on his hit show [[Walker, Texas Ranger]]. When Norris was ten, his parents divorced<ref>"Chuck Norris — Strong, Silent, Popular," ''[[The New York Times]],'' September 1, 1985</ref> and he later relocated to [[Prairie Village, Kansas]] and then [[Torrance, California|Torrance]], [[California]] with his mother and brothers.<ref name="ADwCN">"At Dinner with: Chuck Norris," ''[[The New York Times]],'' May 12, 1993</ref> Norris describes his childhood as downbeat. He was nonathletic, shy, and scholastically mediocre. Other children taunted him about his mixed ethnicity, and Norris daydreamed about beating up his tormentors. Norris mentioned in his autobiography that his father had a very serious problem with drinking and "wasn't there" a lot for him growing up. Norris admitted that he loved his father but did not like him. However, he professed that he only felt pity for the man because "that was just how he was, and he missed so much."
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| - | Chuck Norris finished high school and soon married his girlfriend, Diane Holechek. In 1958 Norris joined the [[United States Air Force]] as a [[Military police|Military Policeman]] and was sent to [[Osan Air Base]], [[South Korea]]. It was in South Korea that Norris acquired the nickname ''Chuck'' and began his training in [[Tang Soo Do]] (tangsudo), an interest that would lead to [[Black belt (martial arts)|black belts]] in [[Tang Soo Do]], [[Tae Kwon Do]], and Shinto-Ryu [[Karate]], and a black belt in [[Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu]]; and the founding of the [[Chun Kuk Do]] ("Universal Way") form and the education associations [[United Fighting Arts Federation]] and "Kick Start," formerly "Kick Drugs Out of America," a middle school and high school based program intended to give at-risk children a focus point in life through the martial arts. When he returned to the [[United States]] he continued to act as an MP at [[March Air Reserve Base|March Air Force Base]] California. Norris was discharged in August of 1962. He worked for the [[Northrop]] corporation and opened a chain of karate schools, which [[Chad McQueen]], [[Steve McQueen]]'s son, attended.<ref name="ADwCN"/> On July 1, 2000 he was presented the Golden Lifetime Achievement Award by the World Karate Union Hall of Fame.
| + | He whistled for a cab, and when it came near, the license plate said "Fresh" and it had dice in the mirror. If anything, Alch could say that this cab was rare, but he thought, "Man, forget it. Yo homes, to Bel-Air!" He pulled up to their house about seven or eight, and he yelled to the cabbie, "Yo homes, smell ya later!" He looked at his kingdom; he was finally there to sit at his throne as the prince of Bel-Air. |
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| - | Currently, Norris lives in [[Dallas]] and owns a ranch between [[Navasota]], [[Texas]] and [[Anderson, Texas]]. He works for [[KickStart]], which is located in [[Dallas]] and [[Houston]].
| + | ===[[Yugimonz]]=== |
| | + | Eventually, Alch became a fan of [[yugimonz]]. He ended up teaching the game to his cousin, known only as [[yugi-god]]. yugi-god one day found himself amidst the likes of [[Sane Orange]], [[Blaid the Dancing Sponge]], and [[Vamp]], colloquially known as the [[Chaotic Union of Narcissistic Teammates]]. Despite yugi-god's faith in the powers of La Jinn, the Mystical Genie of the Lamp, he would often fall at the hands of these fine folk. One day, however, yugi-god returned with a yugimonz built by Alch, and proceeded to humiliate all of them with much gusto. Upon discovery that yugi-god's deck was built by another, the Union proceeded to track down this mysterious do-untoer. Eventually, they found Alch, and after rigorous beatings, swore him into the Union. |
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| - | ===Rise to fame=== | + | ===Within the Union=== |
| - | | + | As part of the Chaotic Union of Narcissistic Teammates, Alch did a lot of stuff. The majority of the amazing things he did happened [[yesterday]]. Mostly, he beats everyone else. Especially [[Blaid]], that frood. |
| - | Chuck's entrance into tournament karate began on a losing note. He was defeated in his first two tournaments, dropping decisions to [[Joe Lewis (martial arts)|Joe Lewis]] and [[Allan Steen]]. However, by 1967, Norris began to demonstrate his skill and scored victories over the likes of [[Joe Lewis (martial arts)|Joe Lewis]], [[Skipper Mullins]], [[Arnold Urquidez]], [[Victor Moore (karate)|Victor Moore]], [[Ron Marchini]] and [[Steve Sanders]]. In early 1968, Chuck suffered the 5th and last loss of his career, losing an upset decision to [[Louis Delgado]]. However, on [[November 24]], [[1968]], Chuck avenged his defeat to Delgado and in the process won the Professional Middleweight Karate champion (non-contact) title, which he held for six consecutive years.<ref>"Chuck Norris — Strong, Silent, Popular", ''[[The New York Times]]'', September 1, 1985</ref> In 1969, he won Karate's triple crown for the most tournament wins of the year, and the ''fighter of the year'' award by ''Black Belt'' magazine. It was also in 1969 that Norris made his acting debut, in the [[Dean Martin]] movie ''[[The Wrecking Crew (1969 film)|The Wrecking Crew]]''.
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| - | In 1970, his younger brother Weiland was killed in [[Vietnam (war)|Vietnam]]. Norris later dedicated his ''[[Missing in Action (film)|Missing in Action]]'' films to his brother's memory.
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| - | At a martial arts demonstration in [[Long Beach, California|Long Beach]], Norris met the soon-to-be famous [[martial artist]] [[Bruce Lee]]. In 1972, he acted as Bruce Lee's nemesis in the movie ''[[Way of the Dragon]]'' (also known as 'Return of the Dragon'), which is widely credited with launching his way into stardom. In [[Asia]], he is still known primarily for this role.
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| - | In 1974, McQueen encouraged him to begin acting classes at the MGM Studio. Chuck Norris retired with a karate record of 65-5, having avenged all of his defeats.
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| - | Norris' first starring role was 1977's ''[[Breaker! Breaker!]]'', and subsequent films such as ''[[The Octagon]]'' (1980), ''[[An Eye for an Eye (movie)|An Eye for an Eye]]'' (1981), and ''[[Lone Wolf McQuade]]'' proved his increasing box office bankability. In 1984, Norris starred in ''[[Missing in Action (film)|Missing in Action]]'', the first of a series of [[Prisoner of war|POW]] rescue fantasies produced by Israeli cousins [[Menahem Golan]] and [[Yoram Globus]] and released under their [[Cannon Films]] banner. Also in that year, he was offered the part of the [[sensei]] of the Kobra Kai dojo in the movie [[The Karate Kid]], but declined the part. He reportedly did not want to take part in depicting martial artists in an unfavorable light. <ref>http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0087538/trivia</ref>. However, Norris disputes this story. On a [[February 9]], [[2006]] episode of [[Adam Corolla]]'s radio show, Norris said that he was never offered the role. Norris noted that he was already playing leading roles by the time [[The Karate Kid]] was in production.
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| - | Over the next four years, Norris became Cannon's most prominent star, appearing in eight films, including ''[[Code of Silence]]'', ''[[The Delta Force (movie)|The Delta Force]]'', and ''[[Firewalker (film)|Firewalker]]'', in which he co-starred with Academy Award winner [[Louis Gossett, Jr.]]
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| - | In 1986, he was involved in the production of the Ruby Spears Cartoon [[Karate Kommandos]]
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| - | ===Walker, Texas Ranger===
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| - | By the close of the 1980s, Cannon Films had faded from prominence, and Norris' star appeal seemed to go with it. He reprised his Delta Force role for [[MGM]], who had acquired the Cannon library after the latter's [[Chapter 11]] bankruptcy. Norris went on to make several more largely ignored films before making a transition to [[television]]. In 1993, he began shooting the series ''[[Walker, Texas Ranger]]'', which lasted eight years on [[CBS]] and continued in heavy syndication on other channels.
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| - | On October 16th, 2005, CBS Premiered the Sunday night "Movie of the Week" ''Walker Texas Ranger: Trial By Fire''. The production was a continuation of the series, and not scripted to be a reunion movie. Norris reprised his role as Cordell Walker for the movie. He has stated that future Walker Texas Ranger "Movie of the Week" projects are expected. This is severely impaired by CBS' [[2006]]-[[2007]] season decision to no longer regularly schedule MOWs on Sunday night.
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| | ==Family== | | ==Family== |
| - | In 1963, his first child with Holechek, a son named Mike, was born; a daughter, Dina, was born in 1964; and a second son, Eric, followed in 1965. After 30 years of marriage, Norris and Holechek divorced in 1988. He married again in 1998, this time to former model Gena O'Kelley, and she delivered twins in 2001: Dakota Alan Norris, a boy, and Danilee Kelly Norris, a girl. Norris has always been a very loving family man; it was noted in ''People'' that his adult sons still hug and kiss him goodbye. "It's great my boys aren't afraid to show love," Norris said. "Nothing can buy that." Norris's son, Mike, said of his father, "Dad never had a lot of love growing up, but he has given me and my brother all that he should have had in multiples." However, in the same interview Mike said that he still wouldn't want to mess with his dad.
| + | Aside from his cousin [[yugi-god]], noblood relatives of Alch's are known. However, it cannot be stressed enough that [[Alch has a hot wife]]. |
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| - | == Faith ==
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| - | Now an outspoken Christian, Chuck Norris is the author of several Christian books, such as ''The Justice Riders''. He has also been in a few T.V. commercials promoting Bible study and prayer in public schools, in addition to efforts to reduce drug use.
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| - | ==Chun Kuk Do==
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| - | Chuck Norris created the martial art [[Chun Kuk Do]] it is based primarily on Tang Soo Do and includes elements from every combat style Chuck knows. Like many other martial arts Chun Kuk Do includes a code of honor and rules to live by. These rules are from Chuck Norris' personal code. they are:
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| - | #I will develop myself to the maximum of my potential in all ways.
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| - | #I will forget the mistakes of the past and press on to greater achievements.
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| - | #I will always be in a positive frame of mind and convey this feeling to every person that I meet.
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| - | #I will continually work at developing love, happiness and loyalty in my family and acknowledge that no other success can compensate for failure in the home.
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| - | #I will look for the good in all people and make them feel worthwhile.
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| - | #If I have nothing good to say about a person, I will say nothing.
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| - | #I will give so much time to the improvement of myself that I will have no time to criticize others.
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| - | #I will always be as enthusiastic about the success of others as I am about my own.
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| - | #I will maintain an attitude of open-mindedness toward another person's viewpoint while still holding fast to that which I know to be true and honest.
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| - | #I will maintain respect for those in authority and demonstrate this respect at all times.
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| - | #I will always remain loyal to God, my country, family and my friends.
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| - | #I will remain highly goal-oriented throughout my life because that positive attitude helps my family, my country, and myself.
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| - | == Popular culture ==
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| - | Norris regained popularity as a [[cult icon]] during the mid-2000s, especially on the Internet. Among the more high-profile parodies and references are these instances:
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| - | * ''[[Late Night with Conan O'Brien]]'''s parent company, NBC, acquired Universal, which in turn owned USA Network, in early 2004. O'Brien and his writers subsequently created a new segment in which O'Brien shows short, out of context clips for comedic purposes: it was said that the clips can be shown without royalties because Universal owns ''Walker''. (In reality, USA only has rights to air episodes, while the show is owned by [[CBS]] and [[Sony Pictures Television]].) The "Walker, Texas Ranger Lever" quickly became one of the most popular segments on Late Night. This segment has been credited as jump-starting the Norris craze and leading to enough interest to produce a ''Walker, Texas Ranger'' TV movie. One of the most memorable, albeit odd, clips featured a young [[Haley Joel Osment]] uttering the line, "Walker told me I have AIDS."
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| - | * Norris is the object of an [[Internet phenomenon]] known as ''[[Chuck Norris Facts]]'' documenting and proclaiming fictional, often heroic feats and characteristics, which began to circulate in late 2005. Norris has written his own response to the parody on his website, stating that he does not feel offended by them, and finds some of them funny. [http://www.chucknorris.com/html/events.aspx?type=3]. He recently read 10 of them on a [[The Best Damn Sports Show, Period]], and said that his favorite one is "''They once tried to carve Chuck Norris's face into Mount Rushmore, but the granite wasn't hard enough for his beard''"[http://www.i-am-bored.com/bored_link.cfm?link_id=16294]. These facts and more are the mere basis of the huge obsession the player community in the immensely popular [[MMOG]] [[World of Warcraft]]. Norris's name can usually be seen on the chat in the game, everywhere players go. There is, however, a large proportion of players in World of Warcraft who do become annoyed at the sight of his name. Others, most commonly on Role Playing servers, have made [[guild]]s honoring him. They generally call their obsession with him a religion and have players roam the world spreading their religion and converting other players.
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| - | * Rode out in a convertible on ''[[The Price is Right (US game show)|The Price is Right $1,000,000 Spectacular]]'' in 2003 to wish [[Bob Barker]] a happy 80th birthday. He also helped a contestant win the convertible playing the [[Lucky $even]] game. Norris had instructed Bob Barker in karate for years.
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| - | *[[Adult Swim]], a late night programming block on [[Cartoon Network]], began airing [[Karate Kommandos|Chuck Norris' Karate Kommandos]] in mid-2006, in response to Norris's new internet popularity. The time slot was gradually (and discreetly) replaced with other Cartoon Network programs later in the year, and currently, no television network is known to carry the program.
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| - | * Norris was parodied in a ''[[Saturday Night Live]]'' music video spoof entitled "Young Chuck Norris", aired [[January 21]], [[2006]].
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| - | * Chuck Norris sponsors the [[infomercial]], Total Gym Fitness, which usually airs in the late night or early morning hours.
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| - | * During the [[March 10]], [[2006]] show of [[ESPN]]'s [[Pardon the Interruption]], numerous references were made to Norris on his birthday, including all of the cut-out heads on the set, which are usually of current sports stars, being replaced with Chuck Norris heads. Also, several humorous comments in reference to Chuck Norris were made by co-host, [[Tony Kornheiser]], in a similar tone to that featured on the ''[[Chuck Norris Facts]]'' website.
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| - | * Norris served as a guest referee at the [[World Wrestling Entertainment|World Wrestling Federation's]] [[Survivor Series#1994|Survivor Series 1994]] for the [[casket match]] between [[Mark Calaway|The Undertaker]] and the late [[Rodney Anoai|Yokozuna]]. A similar match had taken place at [[Royal Rumble (1994)|Royal Rumble 1994]] where ten other wrestlers beat down The Undertaker. Norris was called upon to ensure a similar situation didn't take place. As guest referee, he kicked [[Jeff Jarrett]] in the stomach.
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| - | * Norris appeared as himself on an episode of ''[[Yes, Dear]]'', where he shadows one of the main characters (Jimmy) to understand the life of a [[security guard]].
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| - | *He had a [[Cameo appearance|cameo]] role in the movie ''[[Dodgeball (movie)|Dodgeball]]'' as a judge at a [[dodgeball]] tournament.
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| - | *Norris appeared in the [[internet meme]] [[The Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny]].
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| - | *Chuck Norris also starred in his own [[Atari 2600]] videogame, ''[http://www.atariage.com/software_page.html?SoftwareLabelID=82 Chuck Norris Superkicks]''
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| - | *Chuck Norris also appears in [[George Ouzounian|Maddox]] (real name George Ouzounian)'s book: ''[[Alphabet of Manliness]]'' under the letter N.
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| - | *In the video game magazine [[Nintendo Power]], Volume 203's Pulse section featured many references to Chuck Norris. He has since become a regular reference, along with [[Mr. T]].
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| - | * In the 2006 [[Will Ferrell]] film ''[[Talladega Nights]]'', Ferrell's character, Ricky Bobby, named his sons "Walker" and "Texas Ranger".
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| - | * Chuck Norris was briefly the top contender in a poll for naming a new bridge, [[Northern M0 Danube bridge]], in [[Budapest, Hungary]].
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| - | * Norris now has a regular column on [[WorldNetDaily]], sharing his 'musings about faith, family, freedom, country, loyalty – maybe even kickboxing.'
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| - | == Notes ==
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| - | <references />
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| - | <!-- No longer referenced: #{{note|NCBCPS}} [http://www.bibleinschools.net/img/bod.pdf NCBCPS Board of Directors Listing]-->
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| | == External links == | | == External links == |
| - | {{wikiquote}}
| + | *[http://fuckinalch.livejournal.com Alch's Livejournal]. |
| - | *[http://www.chucknorris.com/ Official web site] | + | |
| - | *[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1pnFg0Sp2Xw Chuck Norris wanting the Bible back in public schools.]
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| - | *{{imdb name|id=0001569|name=Chuck Norris}}
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| - | *{{nndb name|id=152/000024080|name=Chuck Norris}}
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| - | *[http://www.chunkukdo.com/ Official Chun Kuk Do Website]
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| - | *[http://www.chucknorrisfacts.com/ Chuck Norris Facts]
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| - | *[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jAc1G3u-hxs Chuck Norris on facts - by Chuck Norris himself] as he appears on ''[[The Best Damn Sports Show Period]]'' (video)
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| - | *[http://www.chuckmania.com/ Another source of Chuck Norris Info]
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| - | *[http://www.worldnetdaily.com/news/article.asp?ARTICLE_ID=52514 Chuck Norris at WorldNetDaily]
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| - | *[http://www.theshadowsun.net/collection/view/151 Chuck Norris - Karate Kommandos Review]
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Alch started with a middle-class life under the rule of those who birthed him. Though Alch never speaks of those who birthed him, they are assumed to be gods, creators of creation, as only such magnitudal forces could have ever brought he who we know as Alch into existence. Through his childhood, he was known as a "wild child"; he often found himself in all sorts of trouble. His parents knew not what to do with him. He would skip brushing his teeth, not do his homework, use magnifying glasses on ants, kill small innocent girls and rape their corpses while skinning them with a rusty knife so he could wear the skin later, and eat candy before dinner. Eventually, his parents became fed up with his antics, and he was forced to move with his auntie and uncle in Bel-Air.
He whistled for a cab, and when it came near, the license plate said "Fresh" and it had dice in the mirror. If anything, Alch could say that this cab was rare, but he thought, "Man, forget it. Yo homes, to Bel-Air!" He pulled up to their house about seven or eight, and he yelled to the cabbie, "Yo homes, smell ya later!" He looked at his kingdom; he was finally there to sit at his throne as the prince of Bel-Air.
As part of the Chaotic Union of Narcissistic Teammates, Alch did a lot of stuff. The majority of the amazing things he did happened yesterday. Mostly, he beats everyone else. Especially Blaid, that frood.
