Page 77: Shadow of an Ed

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The story begins with a general Friday at Peach Creek Jr. High School a week after Eddy exploited Kevin's fear of needles just to get revenge for mistreatment. This time, Eddy has another plan. Inside the gym, the Eds do workouts in their fourth-period Physical Education class.

EDD : That's it, gentlemen.

Eddy is doing push-ups and sweating like hell.

EDDY : Stupid push-ups!

Ed is doing something funny and stupid as usual. He is doing lift ups with his eyebrow.

ED : Hup, two, three, four. Hup, two, three, four. Hup, two, three, four. Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha!

Eddy struggles to lift body up. His arms shake and quiver. He falls to the ground, panting.

EDD : Now, now, Eddy. You must do your warm-ups.

Ed does something else funny. He is walking around Edd with his eyeballs.

ED : Like potato salad?

EDD : Not quite, Ed. More like--

ED : Chili cheese?

EDD : No, Ed. Like getting your body into good shape.

EDDY : You're one to talk, Mr. Know-It-All Drum Stick!

ED : Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha!! Good one, Eddy. Ah ha ha ha ha!

Edd begins to sweat. His eyes roll left, then right, quickly. He looks at his arm and flings it. It vibrates like a tuning fork.

EDD : Oh, my.

Edd begins doing sit-ups.

EDDY : Do your excercises, Eddward. Ha ha ha ha!

Outside, a city bus parks in front of the school. The door opens and a figure comes out. Rays of light reveal the face of the one... the only... Shadow the Hedgehog. He steps onto the concrete. The bus leaves. He walks up the steps and enters the school. In the administration office, he walks up to administrator's desk.

SHADOW THE HEDGEHOG : Hey, there. I'd like to apply for a visitor's pass. There's some friends of mine I'd like to spend time with, today.

Back in the Gym, the Eds continue their warm-ups. Ed continues his funny techniques of excercising. Now, he's doing push-ups with his eyebrow. The bell rings. It's lunchtime. In the lunch room, everyone serve themselves for mashed potatoes & turkey gravy. At one table, the Eds sit. Eddy looks sullen, Ed looks cheerful and Edd looks enthusiastic. Suddenly, the door bursts open.

KEVIN : Who's that?

JOHNNY : Did you see him come in like that, Plank?

Shadow spots the Eds.

SHADOW : Hey, hey! If it isn't Ed, Edd 'n Eddy.

EDD : How do you know our names?

SHADOW : I heard about Eddy's failed scams and thought I'd meet you guys.

Edd pulls out his hand to shake, but he turns around to shake hands with Eddy and Ed.

SHADOW : Hi, I'm Shadow the Hedgehog. I know both of you. Ed and Eddy.

EDDY : Uh... nice to meet you.

ED : The pleasure's all mine.

SHADOW : Anyways, I heard you guys failed to make up rumors and exploit Kevin's fear of needles. Well, I'm here to help you two with your antics.

EDD : Now wait just a minute!

SHADOW : Just ignore him, fellas. Ignore all of them.

Shadow escorts Ed and Eddy out of the lunchroom. Edd is suspicious of this.

EDD : Hmm...

Outside, at the tennis courts, Shadow chats with Ed and Eddy.

EDDY : Who exactly did you say you were?

SHADOW : I'm Shadow the Hedgehog, the ultimate life form. And I can help you two in whatever pranks you have planned. Just name it, and I'll help.

ED : Like the time Eddy made up silly stories about the kids?

SHADOW : I feel so awful that you guys had to pay.

EDDY : You do? You'll help us prank the kids?

SHADOW : Yeah. So, what do you guys have in mind for today?

EDDY : I was thinking about reading Sarah's medical file out of the nurse's office and finding out what she fears. Ha ha ha ha!

SHADOW : You mean Sarah, the spoiled brat?

ED : My baby sister who yells at me all the time.

SHADOW : You know, Ed, I always question why you just let her do that to you. I mean, you're the older sibling, not her! Wait here, guys.

Shadow disappears and reappears in the nurse's office. It's closed and empty. Shadow looks through the "S" folders on the cabinet for Sarah's medical file.

SHADOW : Hmm... Samantha, Sandy, Santiago, ah ha! Sarah!

He pulls the folder out of the cabinet and searches for Jimmy's.

SHADOW : Hmm... James, Jane.. ah ha! Jimmy.

He pulls the folder out and disappears again. He reappears at the tennis court seconds later.

SHADOW : I got it, guys.

EDDY : [Snickers] This is so great, Ed.

Eddy reads the file as Shadow holds it open. He snickers as he finds an interesting read.

EDDY : Listen to this, Ed! It says here that the little pipsqueak is afraid of... [Snickers] Black cats! Ha ha ha ha!!

SHADOW : I'm black and I look like a cat, don't I?

ED : You sure do, little kitty cat! [Snickers]

Suddenly, Edd makes an entrance.

EDD : What are you guys doing?

Shadow turns around to Edd with the usual glare.

SHADOW : What're you doing here... Double "D"?

EDD : I should be asking you and my ex-friends the same question.

SHADOW : Well, what Ed and Eddy do with me or by themselves is none of your concern. Now leave us alone.

EDD : Fine!

Edd walks away, leaving Shadow & Eddy smirking. Ed just smiles stupidly, not exactly giving a reaction.

SHADOW : Now that we got rid of him, let's read Sarah's.

Eddy reads Sarah's medical file. His eyes widen with each word.

EDDY : Listen to this, guys! It says Sarah's afraid of being sneaked up on!

ED : Oh, I know! Shadow, why don't you sneak up on everyone and annoy them?

SHADOW : Piece... of cake.

Sarah and Jimmy walk down the hall. As they approach and intersection, Shadow crosses their path. They flip out.

JIMMY : Aah!! Black cat!! Bad luck, Sarah!!

SARAH : Oh, Jimmy. It's just a superstition. Like anything bad will happen to me if a black cat comes.

Shadow appears from behind Sarah and kicks her behind. He lands on her chin and Shadow disappears again.

JIMMY : Aah!! Ghosts!!

Sarah gets up and quickly spins 180 degrees.

SARAH : Huh? Who's there?

Shadow reappears behind her and slaps the back of her head. Stars eject from the impact. He disappears before anyone can see.

SARAH : Who's there?!!

Shadow reappears and trips her. He disappears again.

SARAH : Ghosts!! Ahh!!!

Sarah runs across the halls, leaving the kids in bewilderment.

KEVIN : What's with her?

ROLF : Hmm... sneaking up from behind, attacking and disappearing. Where has Rolf seen this before?

NAZZ : Well, that's just wierd. Who could be doing that?

Sarah continues running. As she approaches another intersection, Ed and Eddy lie in wait, snickering. As she about reaches the crossing, Ed and Eddy jump out!

ED : Grrrah!!! Gotcha, baby sister!! Ha ha ha ha ha!

SARAH : Ed!! You know I hate that!! Grrrrrrrr!!

Sarah rolls up her arms as if they were sleeves on a shirt, ready to fight. Without warning, Shadow clonks her again and disappears before she can see it's him. Ed & Eddy snicker.

SARAH : [Seething] What's so goddamn funny?!

As she turns to them, Shadow reappears, gives her another smack and disappears again. She turns, but sees nothing.

SARAH : What the hell is going on here?!! Ahhhh!!!

Sarah runs down the hall in fear again. Eddy and Ed smile as she leaves.

EDDY : [Laughing Hysterically]

Shadow reappears and folds his arms with a smirk on his face.

EDDY : Shadow... you should've seen the look on her face!! Ha ha ha ha!!

SHADOW : I did. It was rich.

ED : Boy, Shadow, you are good!! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!

SHADOW : I know Ed. So, who's next?

EDDY : Who isn't?

At Kevin's locker, he finishes putting away his gym clothes and closes his locker. As he walks away from it, Shadow appears, flicks his hat off and disappears. Kevin quickly turns, but doesn't see anything. He grabs his hat and puts it back on his head.

KEVIN : Must've been the wind.

He continues walking, but Shadow flicks his hat off again. Kevin turns around, but Shadow is nowhere to be seen. Kevin puts the hat back on and holds it down. Shadow kicks him in the rear and disappears again. Kevin gets up and turns back with his teeth clinched.

KEVIN : Who's there?!!

Nothing. He begins to sweat as he starts running down the hall. His eyes shift left and right.

KEVIN : That's real funny, dorks!! When I find ya...!!

SHADOW : Hmph!! Real smooth.

KEVIN : Huh?

At the intersection, Shadow comes out of the darkness.

SHADOW : Is that how you treat them?

He approaches Kevin with clinched fists and his usual glare. Kevin begins to quiver and back away.

SHADOW : Because that's all I hear you say to them.

KEVIN : So what? They don't deserve my respect and they never will.

SHADOW : Is that how it is?

Kevin grabs Kevin by the collar and shoves him against the wall.

SHADOW : Well, I don't want to see you call them "dorks" or threaten them... ever again... or else!

Kevin shakes in fear of what Shadow might do to him.

SHADOW : OK?

He nods.

SHADOW : OK.

He lets Kevin go and walks off.

SHADOW : Remember...

He gestures the "be quiet" sign, then leaves. Kevin faints. A minute later, Edd walks down the hall. He trips over something.

EDD : Whoa!

He falls. Stars eject from the impact. Edd gets up, dusts himself off and finds what he tripped on.

EDD : Oh, dear! Kevin!

Kevin twitches and awakens.

KEVIN : [Groans] Double "D"?

EDD : What happened?

KEVIN : Sh-sh-Shadow! He told me to be quiet or else.

EDD : Or else what?

KEVIN : I-I don't know. He scares the hell out of me.

EDD : Well! I'm gonna find out what he's doing.

Edd leaves the scene and searches for Shadow. Outside, Shadow, Ed and Eddy collapse laughing.

EDDY : And he took it seriously? Ha ha ha ha!

SHADOW : Yes, Eddy. Ha ha ha ha! He did.

ED : Kevin's a scaredy cat! Ha ha ha ha ha! Like a little baby!

SHADOW : So, what else should we do?

EDDY : I know! Let's write stuff on the walls.

ED : Like walnuts?

SHADOW : No, Ed. Like with pens?

ED : Like the time someone wrote that Eddy was a no-neck chump?

EDDY : Exactly, Ed.

Out in the hall, Eddy writes something on the wall. Shadow scans the area for witnesses and Ed just stands there, being stupid. Eddy snickers as he continues writing.

SHADOW : Someone's coming! Hold on to me!

Ed and Eddy grab onto Shadow and they disappear. The writing is complete. Rolf trots along and stumbles on the writing.

ROLF : What is this? Hmm...

He closely examines the writing.

ROLF : "Kevin is a shovel-chinned monkey?" Ha ho ho ho ha ha ha!!

Kevin walks up.

KEVIN : What's so funny, Rolf?

Kevint turns to the wall to find the comment.

KEVIN : "Shovel-chinned monkey?" Argh!!!!!

He turns his hat around and shields his eyes.

KEVIN : Don't look at me, man! I'm hideous!

ROLF : Rolf disagrees. Your chin resembles not that of the ancient dirt-lifting instrument nor that of the early primate. It's outrageous.

Kevin walks away in shame anyways. Rolf simply stares off.

ROLF : Oh, well. [Whistling]

He walks off. In the boys's restroom, Eddy writes something else in one of the stalls. Shadow leans back on the stall, whistling to himself.

SHADOW : Done yet, guys?

ED : Almost, O mighty spirit of the darkness.

SHADOW : Wow. Where'd you come up with that one?

EDDY : The big lug is nothing but questions, Shadow. You gotta love 'im.

Ed and Eddy come out.

EDDY : All done. Let's go.

Shadow, Ed and Eddy simply walk out casually. Johnny enters.

JOHNNY : Wowsers!!

Inside, Johnny snaps a photo of Eddy's new saying. In the halls, the kids walk around. Johhny enters and displays the picture.

JOHNNY : Hey, guys! Check out what me and Plank found in the boy's bathroom!

Sarah reads it. From another area where Shadow and the Eds are painting another insult on the walls, they can hear Sarah's scream.

SARAH : What?!!

EDDY : Ha ha ha ha!

ED : Ha ha ha ha ha!

SHADOW : Ha ha ha ha!

Edd suddenly enters.

EDD : So there you three are!! Just what have you guys been up... to?

He spots Eddy's graffiti. The language of it makes Edd shield his eyes.

EDD : Good God!! Eddy!!

EDDY: What?

EDD : What have you done to the wall?

SHADOW : Nothing, Double "D"!

EDD : The other kids maybe scared of you, but I'm not! I have every right to report you three to the office.

Shadow approaches Edd menacingly.

SHADOW : Are you sure you want to do that? You saw Kevin. You know what he told you. And you better stay away from us if you know what's good for you.

EDD : But you're helping Ed and Eddy wreak havoc of who-knows-what proportions!

SHADOW : Go away and keep your damn trap shut... or else!!

Edd begins to sweat. He backs off. The three leave the area and go find another place to write on. Nazz passes on by, wondering what the noise was.

NAZZ : That's funny. I thought I heard something.

She turns to the wall and gapes. Her eyes fill with water as she feels her chest. She runs off in tears. The saying on the wall says, "Nazz is a cheater." The scene fades to black.

At the end of the day, the kids walk out slowly, sullen. The only ones who remain enthusiastic are Johnny, Rolf, Eddy, Ed and Shadow.

EDDY : Do you wanna come to my house, Shadow?

SHADOW : Sure, but what about Ed? Can he come, too?

EDDY : Sure thing, Shadow boy!

The three run to Eddy's house. As Edd exits, he looks at the kids with confusion and bewilderment.

EDD : What is wrong with everyone? Why are they all so sullen?

Nazz walks over to Edd.

NAZZ : Double "D", is there anything wrong with my chest?

She pulls her shirt up, exposing just the bra. Edd gapes and shields his eyes.

EDD : Nazz!! What are you doing?! Make yourself decent!!

NAZZ : You don't get it?

Nazz pulls her shirt back down. Kevin and Sarah walk up.

KEVIN : Someone wrote some horrible things about us! Do you know who it is?

Edd begins to sweat and quiver again.

SHADOW'S VOICE : Keep your trap shut... or else!

EDD : Um...

SARAH : Well?

EDD : I'm sorry, but Shadow threatened me just like the rest of you.

NAZZ : What?

EDD : Shadow said if I told you who did it... I just can't risk it.

KEVIN : Well, we need to stop them.

EDD : How can we? Shadow's more powerful than any of us.

Back in the cul-de-sac, our antagonists go through the backyard. Eddy opens his sliding door.

EDDY : After you, good buddy.

SHADOW : Thanks.

They enter Eddy's room.

SHADOW : Wow.

Shadow pans around the room. The lava lamp, the round bed, the turntable, the chimney and the collection of Barry White records are in full view.

SHADOW : Nice room, Eddy.

ED : Yeah. I once ate Eddy's lamp.

SHADOW : I know, Ed. I know everything about you and Eddy.

EDDY : How did you find out about it?

SHADOW : Oh, I have my ways. So, do you have anymore scams to think of?

EDDY : No, Shadow. I'm fresh out of ideas. I spent the entire summer vacation last year trying. Do you have any scams?

SHADOW : As a matter of fact... I do.

Shadow whispers to them. Eddy and Ed smile and grin at the plan.

EDDY : But where are we gonna get the supplies from?

SHADOW : Home Depot.

EDDY : You have... money for that?

SHADOW : Yes. Yes, I do.

EDDY : Can I have some?!

Eddy pulls out his hands greedily.

SHADOW : How could I not?

EDDY : Then forget the scam! Jawbreakers, Ed!

Shadow gives Eddy a large mesh of quarters. His eyes widen and dollar signs flash. They all rush inside the house, except Ed.

EDDY : C'mon, Ed.

Eddy grabs Ed's ear and pulls him out of sight. As the front door opens and the boys prepare to leave...

EDD : Ahem.

They are confronted by the kids. Shadow simply smirks.

SHADOW : What are you guys doing here?

EDD : We've had enough of you giving these scoundrels help in degrading the reputations of these kids.

ED : I have no idea what you just said, Double "D".

SARAH : You guys are gonna pay!!

Sarah rolls up her arms as if they were sleeves again. Kevin does the same, but with his sleeves.

KEVIN : Get in line, Sarah. If anyone's gonna have the first laugh, it's gonna be me!

Edd's anger rises.

EDD : Surrender now, Eddy... or there will be dire consequences.

SHADOW : [Scoffs] You kids get out of my way or I'll be forced to hurt you. All of you!

ROLF : Rolf refuses to give in on account of your mysterious voo doo trickery.

SHADOW : Voo Doo?

ROLF : Yes!

SHADOW : I'm warning you.

Jimmy and Johnny hide behind Sarah in fear of Shadow's actions.

SHADOW : Me and my pals are hitting the Candy Store.

EDD : Oh, sure! So you can rob it! Like we'll ever let that happen.

SHADOW : Very wrong. Now move it!

EDD : No.

Shadow jumps in the air.

SHADOW : You stupid kids asked for it...

He roundhouses Kevin and Rolf, lands, jumps in the air again and roundhouses Sarah and Nazz. They all fall to the ground, knocked out cold. Jimmy and Johnny are exposed, quivering.

SHADOW : Boo.

Jimmy and Johnny flip and scram out of there, leaving Edd with his unconscious friends at his feet.

SHADOW : Ha ha ha ha ha ha haa!

Edd stares, stunned as Shadow leaves the scene.

EDD : You may have won twice, but sooner or later, you'll lose.

SHADOW : Whatever. You and those pathetic kids stand no chance against me.

The three troublemakers head for the Candy Store. Edd is left by himself in Eddy's backyard to clean the mess Shadow left behind.