Page 76: Camp: Shadow

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The story begins at Camp Kidney on a typical dusk in mid-September when the water is still good enough to swim in. In the Pinto Bean cabin, Edward secretly chats with Chip and Skip about a new scheme.

EDWARD : I've been hearing a lot of ranting about Patsy and her obsession with Lazlo. I say we should get the two together in front of Raj and Clam.

SKIP : Why would she even talk about Lazlo? All she does is annoy him.

EDWARD : Just like the other Squirrel Scouts annoyed Samson. I say we should get revenge for what happened to me.

CHIP : Something happened to you? When?! Are you gonna be all right?!

EDWARD : I'm fine now. But I'll always fear that memory. Anyways, here's what we do.

Edward whispers the plan to both of them.

EDWARD : I'll lure Patsy and the rest of them to the activities area. Meanwhile, you guys get the table and candles set.

SKIP : What table?

CHIP : Remember the time Nina invited us for some "romantic" dinner? I think he means that kind of table.

SKIP : Oh. OK, Edward. You do your part and we'll handle the rest.

EDWARD : Oh! Don't forget to bring Lazlo to that table... alone.

In the Scoutmaster's cabin, Scoutmaster Lumpus works on a plastic model of a Chrystler 300. That's a car with a bulky body, four doors and some cool features. He focuses hard on getting a tiny piece of the engine in the engine compartment. The engine itself isn't quite finished yet.

SCOUTMASTER LUMPUS : Slinkman?

SLINKMAN : Yes, sir?

LUMPUS : Did you notice a table missing in here?

SLINKMAN : Oh, yeah. Chip and Skip came by earlier and said they need to burrow it plus a few other things for something.

LUMPUS : What something would that be?

SLINKMAN : They didn't say why. But they did say they'd bring it right back.

LUMPUS : No, seriously. Why would they need one of MY tables?

SLINKMAN : I'll have to ask them again.

Slinkman leaves the Scoutmaster's cabin and goes out to find Chip and Skip. He checks their cabin, but it's empty.

SLINKMAN : Chip? Skip? Edward?

Something crashes inside the Scoutmaster's cabin.

LUMPUS : Yaaaaaaaaaah!!!!! Slinkman!!!

Slinkman looks back to the Scoutmaster's cabin to see Lumpus under the crushing weight of his own desk.

SLINKMAN : Lumpus!! What happened here?!

LUMPUS : Slinkman... Get Commander Hoo-Ha on the line. Tell him that Kidney is going to need... a replacement until I get better.

SLINKMAN : A replacement? But, sir...

LUMPUS : Just do it, Slinkman.

The shaky banana slug does as he's told. He calls Commander Hoo-Ha. At his office, Hoo-Ha answers the phone.

COMMANDER HOO-HA : Yes, what is it?

SLINKMAN : Commander Hoo-Ha? This is Slinkman from Camp Kidney. Some accident just befell the scoutmaster and he needs a temporary replacement... and an ambulence.

HOO-HA : This isn't one of his lame excuses, is it?

SLINKMAN : No, sir. He's seriously hurt. Just get over here with a replacement and an ambulence, please!

HOO-HA : All right, all right. I know just the guy for the job.

SLINKMAN : You do?

HOO-HA : But beware, Slinkman... he's a lot grumpier than Lumpus, so be careful.

Hoo-Ha hangs up the phone.

HOO-HA : Jake?

JAKE : [Over SpeakerPhone] Yes, Commander?

HOO-HA : Get the replacements in here on the double!

JAKE : Yes, sir!

A dark figure enters the office. He walks up to Hoo-Ha's desk.

SCOUTMASTER REPLACEMENT  : What is it, Hoo-Ha, sir?

HOO-HA : Camp Kidney's Scoutmaster just ate it... big time. I need you to report to Camp Kidney immediately.

SCOUTMASTER'S ASSISTANT REPLACEMENT : Got it.

Back at Camp Kidney, Chip and Skip knock on the door of the Jelly Bean cabin. Lazlo answers it.

LAZLO : Oh, hi, Chip, Skip.

SKIP : Edward wants you to join us in the activities area... alone.

RAJ : Alone?

CLAM : Ehh, what for?

CHIP : [To Raj and Clam] I'm afraid we can't tell you two.

LAZLO : You guys just stay. I'll be fine.

RAJ : But we always join you in the activities area.

SKIP : He needs to come with us.

Clam frowns.

CLAM : Who sent you?

SKIP : Edward.

At the Camper's gate, Commander Hoo-Ha and his Scoutmaster Replacements arrive in his jeep. Chip, Skip, Lazlo, Raj, Clam and all the other campers outside face Hoo-Ha and stand at attention.

ALL : Commander Hoo-Ha.

Hoo-Ha and the replacement get out of the jeep and walk to the Scoutmaster's cabin.

HOO-HA : Attention, scouts! For an unknown reason, Scoutmaster Lumpus got into an accident.

LAZLO : An accident?! Oh my gosh!!

HOO-HA : I know. It's sad. So, anyways, I have come to Kidney with your temporary replacements.

The replacements steps forward out of the shadow of the Scoutmaster's cabin. It's Shadow the Hedgehog in a scoutmaster's uniform and Jason Daniel Fox in a scoutmaster uniform! Quite a twist, wouldn't you say?

HOO-HA : He and his partner are some of the best temporary replacements ever! So what rules they imply, you must follow! So, see you scouts around. Have a nice week.

Commander Hoo-Ha runs back to his jeep and takes off. The scouts look on.

LAZLO : Scoutmaster Lumpus got hurt. Oh, no.

RAJ : We shall offer him our sympathy.

CLAM : Sympathy.

All the other scouts get distant of Shadow and Everette. Lazlo, Raj and Clam walk up to them with enthusiasm.

LAZLO : Hi, there, replacements. I'm Lazlo. This is Raj, and this is Clam.

CLAM : Ehh... hello... whoever you are.

SHADOW THE HEDGEHOG : I'm Scoutmaster Extraordinaire Shadow the Hedgehog and this is my Scoutmaster's Assistant Extraordinaire, Jason Daniel Fox.

JASON DANIEL FOX  : Call me JD. So, how's it going?

RAJ : Whoa. You sound just like Slinkman

JD : So I do. Well, Shadow and I need to report to the Scoutmaster's cabin and check in with Slinkman.

So Shadow and JD go inside. Lazlo goes with Chip and Skip as they said.

At Acorn Flats that night, Edward pokes around, looking for someone to annoy. He spots Patsy Smiles trimming some hedges near the gate.

EDWARD : Oh, Patsy!

Patsy stops trimming and turns around.

PATSY : Hi, Edward. What're you doing here?

EDWARD : Oh, nothing. I've been hearing some things about your little... obsession with Lazlo.

PATSY : I don't have an obsession with Lazlo.

EDWARD : Come on! I remember the time you wanted to sit next to Lazlo. Mind telling me why that is?

Patsy starts to sweat. She does remember that day.

EDWARD : You know... I have a romantic dinner set at Camp Kidney... for the both of you.

PATSY : You do?

EDWARD : All courteousy of Chip, Skip and myself. What do ya say?

PATSY : Sounds great. Lead the way.

Patsy and Edward walk back to Camp Kidney. Edward smirks and contacts Chip and Skip via radio.

EDWARD : Is everything set up?

SKIP : [On Radio] Sure. Lazlo is on his way.

EDWARD : [Whispering] You got the you-know-whats ready?

CHIP : You-know-whats? What are those?

EDWARD : [Whispering] The explosives, you idiots.

SKIP : Thet table is good to go.

Meanwhile, Chip and Skip, in waiter outfits escort Lazlo to the activities area where a table with two seats, a candle and other romantic ornaments are set. Edward and Patsy appear.

PATSY : Lazlo?

LAZLO : Patsy?

Patsy and Lazlo spot the table and the stuff all set up.

PATSY : What is this?

EDWARD : We've set up a date... for the both of you.

Edward escorts Patsy to her seat while Chip escorts Lazlo to his seat.

PATSY : Wow. This all seems... romantic.

Chip and Skip do their stupid waiter impressions and pour soda into the glasses.

SKIP : Soda-pop, lovebirds?

LAZLO : Lovebirds? What is this? A trick?

EDWARD : Oh, no, Lazlo. I thought that maybe I should let you do whatever you wish with her.

CHIP : So we're just gonna leave you two alone now.

Edward, Chip and Skip are about to leave when Shadow and JD appear out of the bushes.

SHADOW : What're you guys doing out here?

EDWARD : Oh, um... nothing.

SKIP : We were just leaving.

JD spots the table. He walks up to them.

JD : Playing house, are you?

LAZLO : No. Edward, Chip and Skip made this for me and Patsy.

PATSY : And it all seems romantic.

JD : Romantic? Aren't you a little young to be dating?

PATSY : I'm not dating anyone.

A slight pause.

JD : All right, then. You two have fun.

Tails leaves and walks back to Shadow, who is still talking to Edward, Chip and Skip.

SHADOW : So?

JD : Nothing wrong. Just two kids having a little fun.

SHADOW : Well, you three better head back to your cabin.

Edward and the Dung Beetles do as they are told. They disappear into the bushes, but don't head straight to the cabin. They stay put and look through the bushes at their plan. Shadow and JD, not suspecting anything, head back to camp. They unknowingly pass the three scouts they told to go back to camp.

LAZLO : As long as we're here, we might as well eat. It was real nice of Edward and the Dung Beetles to do this for us.

PATSY : It was nice of them to bring me to you... Lazlo.

The meals served are typical Camp Kidney specials. Lazlo takes a napkin and tucks one end into his shirt. Patsy does the same thing. She bats her eyelashes a bit. The two take their forks, dig them into the food and eat.

EDWARD : [Whispering] Soon, I will have my revenge.

Edward pulls out a device with a button. He presses the button. Suddenly, Lazlo's food plate explodes and he gets coated in potato salad. Lazlo instantly suspects Patsy.

LAZLO : Patsy!! What did you do? My food exploded in my face!

PATSY : What're you talking about? I didn't plant anything in your food!

Just then, there's another explosion and Patsy becomes covered in food. She suspects Lazlo.

PATSY : Lazlo!! My food!! Did you put dynamite in it?!

LAZLO : You put it in my food!! How could you do this to me after all I've done for you?!

PATSY : What you've done for me?! Well, let me tell you something, Lazlo! I... love you!

LAZLO : What?

PATSY : There! I said it! I've had a crush on you since the day we met! I'd like to stay around, but I'm telling Miss Doe what you did to me!!

LAZLO : Patsy!! I didn't do it!

PATSY : Hmph!!

Patsy leaves the scene. With only a mess behind, Lazlo sinks into a mild depression. In the bushes, Edward snickers. The Dung Beetles don't really respond to the trick Edward just pulled off.

EDWARD : Excellent! That'll be the last we ever see of her.

SKIP : The last of who?

The next morning, Raj and Clam wake up to find Lazlo's bed empty.

RAJ : Lazlo?

Raj and Clam exit the Jelly Cabin, fully dressed and look around for Lazlo. He's nowhere in sight.

CLAM : Lazlo? Where is he?

RAJ : I don't know. He seemed kind of upset when he got into bed last night.

SLINKMAN : [Over Flagpole Loudspeakers] Good morning, scouts. The Replacement Scoutmaster's Assistant, JD will give the morning announcements.

JD : [Over Flagpole Loudspeakers] With pleasure. [Clears Throat] Throughout the day, I expect you all to treat your Replacement Scoutmaster with respect and obey his rules. Anyone who gives Shadow lip will be in for a consequence much harder than what Lumpus would give. Also, I expect you all to treat me, the Replacement Scoutmaster's Assistant with respect. You should do what you can to make Shadow and myself feel welcome and respected. That is all.

In the forest, Lazlo, still depressed about the night before, writes a note.

LAZLO : [In Thought] "Dear, Patsy. I hope that you can forgive me for last night. I would never pull such an incidious prank on anyone, not even a Squirrel Scout. If I find whoever really did it, I promise to have him at Acorn Flats for retribution. P.S. - I sort of like you, too. Sincerely Yours, Lazlo."

Edward appears out from the trees.

EDWARD : Hey, Lazlo. Whatcha got there?

LAZLO : [Sighs] I'm writing a note to Patsy since she won't talk to me again.

EDWARD : Oh... How about I take this note to her. It's the least I could do for you.

LAZLO : Really? Thanks, Edward.

EDWARD : Yeah, yeah.

Lazlo hands Edward the note, not suspecting a thing. He takes it and goes back to camp. On his way, he rips it to pieces and heads back to his cabin.

Back at camp, Shadow sits in the Scoutmaster's chair with his feet up on the desk and his hands behind his head, just like Lumpus. JD sits beside him, sipping a soda. The phone rings and Shadow answers it.

SHADOW : Hello?

SCOUTMISTRESS JANE DOE : [Angry Voice] Is Scoutmaster Lumpus there? This is Scoutmistress Doe.

SHADOW : He's had an accident. I'm his temporary replacement. What's the trouble?

MISS DOE : One of my scouts just became a victim of one of your scouts' incidious pranks!

SHADOW : [Saracastically] Which scout?

MISS DOE : Patsy Smiles, smart guy! Now you find Lazlo and give him some discipline!

SHADOW : Listen, lady, I just got here. I haven't really had a chance to be introduced to the scouts. Which one is Lazlo?

MISS DOE : He's an orange monkey, about 3 feet tall, resides in the Jelly cabin.

SHADOW : Do you have proof it was him?

MISS DOE : Patsy's food exploded and Lazlo was right there watching.

SHADOW : OK, OK. I'll look into it and get some justice for this so-called Patsy Smiles. In the meantime, please keep your cool and wait until I get evidence to make accusations.

Shadow hangs up.

MISS DOE : Keep my cool? That's not a bad idea.

Back in the Kidney cabin, Edward writes something.

EDWARD : [Evil Laugh] I'll deliver your note all right, LAZLO.

He exits the cabin and heads to Acorn Flats, where he spots Patsy crying on a bench, accompanied by Nina Neckerly and Gretchen. They spot Edward and glare. He ignores it and resumes walking toward Patsy. They get in his way.

EDWARD : Hey! What's the big idea?

GRETCHEN : What're you doing here, BEAN? We hate bean scouts.

EDWARD : I just came to offer my condolences to Patsy about last night. Nothing bad.

NINA : Lazlo did it, didn't he?

EDWARD : He sure did. I don't understand why he would want to do that to her, either. I mean, she didn't deserve to have him spill food on her.

They let him through.

EDWARD : Oh, Patsy?

PATSY : [Crying] What do you want?!!

Edward tries to comfort Patsy.

EDWARD : There, there. Just forget about Lazlo. He's not good enough for you, anyways. He's got more important people in his life, such as Raj, Clam and the other bean scouts. You don't deserve a loser like him.

It may look like Edward is being nice, but it's all part of his scheme. Even though he doesn't really go near Acorn Flats, again, it's part of the plan.

EDWARD : You're just going to have to accept it. I offer only my sympathy. By the way, here's a note he sent you. I'm sure it'll make you feel better.

Edward gives Patsy the note and leaves without noticing Nina and Gretchen's glary goodbyes. She reads the note.

PATSY : [Reading] "Dear Patsy, I wanted you to know that I really did set you up for that dinner."

Edward stops and grins evilly as she reads.

PATSY : [Reading] "And I'm glad you got food all over yourself! Ha ha ha ha ha ha! P.S. - You're a spoiled little brat. Love, Lazlo."

She clinches her fists, crushing the note and starts walking to Camp Kidney.

EDWARD : Heh heh heh heh heh heh heh.

Back at Camp, Shadow enjoys the sun in a lawn chair with sunglasses and a lemonade with those little umbrellas and a slice of lemon. In the office, JD sits in the Scoutmaster's chair talking to Scoutmistress Jane Doe.

JD : I'm Jason Daniel Fox, Replacement Scoutmaster's Assistant Extraordinaire.

MISS DOE : It's a pleasure to meet you, Jason. Just let your replacement Scoutmaster know that I have no grudge against him.

JD : I'll be sure to tell him. And by the way, everyone calls me JD.

MISS DOE : So how is it here at Kidney?

JD : Not too bad. Slinkman is a great help to both me and Shadow.

MISS DOE : Oh. Who's Shadow?

JD : The Replacement Scoutmaster Extraordinaire. He's outside on the dock if you want to meet him.

Out on the dock, a shadow covers Shadow's sun. He lifts up his sunglasses to meet Jane. She's cute, but not quite appealing enough for Shadow's interest.

SHADOW : Can I help you?

MISS DOE : Yes. I'm the one who called looking for Scoutmaster Lumpus.

SHADOW : I'm his replacement. You heard, right?

MISS DOE : About his accident? Yes. It's just terrible. I'd go visit him, but I have to run Acorn Flats.

SHADOW : JD and I are professionals. Hi, I'm Shadow the Hedgehog, Scoutmaster Extraordinaire.

MISS DOE : I'm Den Mother Jane Doe of the Squirrel Scouts of Acorn Flats. It's very nice to meet you.

SHADOW : In case you're still wondering, I have yet to question Lazlo about last night. Even though I don't know him, I doubt he's capable of planting explosives in anyone's food, including his own.

MISS DOE : Well, I hope you are as experienced as you say you are.

SHADOW : I'm a professional, Miss Doe. I told you over the phone I'd look into it.

In the Fava cabin, Lazlo chats with Samson about the night before.

SAMSON CLOGMEYER : So she doesn't want to talk to you anymore, huh? Bummer. Anyways, my sister is coming by some time today. She should be here any minute.

LAZLO : I had no idea you had a sister.

SAMSON : I didn't tell you before?

LAZLO : No. What's her name?

SAMSON : Samantha.

LAZLO : Slinkman probably wouldn't allow her to come to camp.

SAMSON : I already cleared it up with him.

LAZLO : OK.

Lazlo is about to leave when Patsy appears in front of him, shaking with anger. Lazlo doesn't really know how she feels.

LAZLO : Patsy? Did you get my note?

PATSY : Oh, I got your note, all right.

LAZLO : You did? Do you forgive me?

PATSY : What do you think?!!

She shows him the crumbled up note. He reads it and gapes.

LAZLO : I didn't write that!!

PATSY : Sure you did! It's got your name on it!!

LAZLO : Patsy, you have to believe me! That's not my handwriting!

PATSY : No? Then whose is it?!

He looks at the letters. They're quite nice, but have Patsy crossed out as the O's.

LAZLO : You got to understand! I didn't write that!

Patsy walks away and does the unthinkable. She gives him... the finger. Lazlo gapes even louder.

LAZLO : Patsy.... wait...

He slips into a mild depression again. Suddenly, a real Chrystler 300 pulls into camp. Samson immediately runs up to it. The passenger door opens and a good-looking guinea pig girl comes out. She's got a traditional Camp Lazlo bang in her hair with a ponytail. Her wardobe includes a cat t-shirt and jeans. She looks almost like a teenager.

SAMSON : Say hello to my sister, Samantha.

LAZLO : Hi.

SAMANTHA CLOGMEYER : So this is Camp Kidney. Not bad for a summer camp, bro.

LAZLO : Not to be nosy or anything Samson, but... why exactly is she here?

SAMSON : FYI, I haven't seen her since I left home.

LAZLO : I thought you didn't like to be around girls, Samson. You were scared of the Squirrel Scouts when they mistook you for Hanly Manster.

SAMANTHA : The star of "The Hamsternator" and "The Hamsternator II - Fur Flies Again"?

LAZLO : Hanly was a movie star? No wonder the Squirrel Scouts chased you that day.

SAMANTHA : Oh, Puh-leese! My brother doesn't look enough like Manster to get any of my friends' attention.

LAZLO : I don't know, Samantha. He seemed almost convincing to me.

SAMSON : Come, Samantha. Let me show you around.

Samson and Samantha walk to the Fava cabin. Meanwhile, at the Kidney cabin, Chip and Skip sit in their beds, talking.

CHIP : Skip? I feel kind of sorry for Lazlo.

Lazlo hears this and presses his ear against the side of the Kidney cabin.

SKIP : Maybe we shouldn't have put those sticks of dynamite in his food.

CHIP : But you know what Edward said. He would have us for breakfast if we told Lazlo or anyone else about his plan.

SKIP : Why should we let him tell us what to do?

CHIP : Because he's our friend?

SKIP : Well, we should tell Lazlo that dinner was a trick and tell him not to say it was us.

Suddenly, the door bursts open with one upset monkey in the doorway.

LAZLO : CHIP!! SKIP!!

CHIP & SKIP : Uh, oh.

LAZLO : I overheard what you said. How could you do this to me?! I've done wonders for you two. I was the one who reunited you two after your fued!

SKIP : We were about to tell you that we're sorry for making Patsy hate you.

CHIP : And that it was all Edward's idea.

LAZLO : Edward? He did this?

CHIP : Yes. We were only following orders. It was us that ratted out Samson when the girls were chasing him.

LAZLO : And that was Edward's idea, too?

SKIP : You probably already know that.

LAZLO : I can't believe this.

CHIP : To tell you the truth, Edward hates you, Lazlo. All those times he was nice to you... all lies.

LAZLO : How were you two able to figure that out? You're usually too dumb to figure stuff out.

SKIP : We may be dumb, but our hearts are pure gold.

EDWARD : [Behind Them] What're you idiots doing now?

Lazlo turns and glares at Edward.

EDWARD : You got a reason for looking at me like that?

LAZLO : You turned Patsy against me... Edward!

EDWARD : What're you talking about? I had nothing to do with that. Chip and Skip put the explosives in your food. I went back to camp with the replacements.

LAZLO : OK.

SKIP : Liar!

LAZLO : Huh?

EDWARD : What?

CHIP : He's right, Ed. You are a liar. YOU put the dynamite in the food. We just cooked the food.

EDWARD : I'm a lot smarter than they are... so who are you gonna believe? They're so dumb, they don't even remember their own birthday.

SKIP : Edward!! Lazlo, he put the dynamite in the food himself! We watched and he told us!

LAZLO : Edward... how could you?! [Crying]

Edward doesn't seem to be moved by Lazlo's crying.

EDWARD : You dungheads! You weren't supposed to tell him!

CHIP : You know Edward, we've had enough of doing hurtful things to the campers.

SKIP : Such as stealing air conditioners, ratting others out and so forth.

EDWARD : You guys would do as I say if you know what's good for you.

SKIP : [To Lazlo] Come on, Lazlo. Let's go to Acorn Flats and apologize.

Edward figures out that his Dung Beetle henchmen have turned against him and tries to sneak away. Chip catches him.

CHIP : And where do you think you're going?

Chip grabs Edward by his neckerchief.

CHIP : You're coming with us.

Skip takes Lazlo to Acorn Flats while Chip carries Edward with them.

In the office, Samantha registers for a visitor's pass.

SHADOW : It's very nice to meet you, Samantha. It's not often Slinkman allows a camper's relative to visit.

SAMANTHA : Thanks. I miss my brother and he misses me.

SLINKMAN : Samson didn't even mention you to anyone.

SAMANTHA : He never really liked to talk about me in front of the campers.

At Acorn Flats, Chip and Skip find the cabin that Patsy, Nina and Gretchen reside in and knock. Nina answers.

NINA : Oh, hi, Skip, Chip. Funny to see you two again after the... um, incident.

CHIP : We have a special delivery for Patsy.

EDWARD : Special delivery? What the hell are you guys up to now?

LAZLO : Retribution. Just like I wrote in the note that YOU tore up.

Edward glares at Chip. Patsy comes to.

CHIP : Here's your scoundrel.

Chip presents Edward. He has an "I DID IT!" sticker on his shirt.

LAZLO : He did it, Patsy! He's the one who tore us apart!

GRETCHEN : Why not? Patsy doesn't need your charms, Lazlo! Now go away!

Patsy glares at Gretchen.

EDWARD : I hate you, Lazlo!!

SKIP : You have the right to remain quiet, Edward!

CHIP : Edward is the one who brought you two to that dinner last night. He's the one who schemed to tear you two apart.

PATSY : So that note I got about you thinking I'm a spoiled brat... he wrote that?

LAZLO : Yes, Patsy. I rewrote the original note for you.

Lazlo hands Patsy the note he intended to give her. She reads it, then cries... of joy. Skip puts Lazlo down and he and Patsy hug like forgiving friends. Gretchen crosses her eyes in disgust.

GRETCHEN : Oh, brother.

PATSY : Lazlo... do you think I'm a brat?

LAZLO : No, Patsy. You're not a brat at all.

PATSY : Good. And, um... I'm sorry that I flipped you off earlier. Can you forgive me?

LAZLO : Only if you believe what I say from now on.

PATSY : OK.

The two take that moment to admire one anothers' features. Patsy admires thoses eyes, the positivity in his smile... Lazlo admires her eyes... the way they sparkle... twinkle. Chip takes Edward to the main office while Skip stays and gives the details he remembers of Edward's plan.

In the main office of Acorn Flats, Jane does some paperwork. Chip comes in with Edward.

MISS DOE : Oh, hi, Chip. How can I help you?

CHIP : I've got your perp here in my hands.

EDWARD : Let me go, you overgrown bug!

MISS DOE : There will be no yelling in my office, Edward!!

EDWARD : [Muttering]

CHIP : He's the one who got food all over Patsy. He planted explosives in her dinner.

MISS DOE : [Gasps] Oh, dear. You two better head back to camp while I call Kidney.

CHIP : Right away, Jane.

Chip leaves and Jane makes a phone call.

MISS DOE : Hello? Scoutmaster Hedgehog?

At Camp Kidney's office...

SHADOW : Is that right? Really, now? Well, this is quite a push of dumb luck. All right, all right. Then just get me Crispy instead of Original Recipe!

The phone beeps.

SHADOW : You do that, then. I got a call on the Acorn Flats line. [To Miss Doe] Oh, hi, Jane. How's it going? WHAT? Where are they? I'll be sure to give them an appropriate welcome when they get back. Bye.

He hangs up the phone.

JD : Who was that?

SHADOW : Jane Doe. Chip's got the camper that assaulted Patsy.

JD : Awwww!! I was looking forward to solving the mystery.

SHADOW : But that numbnut beat us to it. We should at least thank him.

In the Jelly cabin, Clam and Raj talk.

RAJ : Who would have thought that Lazlo actually liked Patsy?

CLAM : Me.

RAJ : Why you?

CLAM : Pine Cone Battle.

RAJ : The way she used love to knock Lazlo off the pine cone?

CLAM : Seemed obvious, Raj.

RAJ : Well, we've tried on and on to stop him from getting closer to her. We might as well give in.

CLAM : Love prevails.

Lazlo comes in, smiling.

RAJ : It's Lazlo. You're back.

LAZLO : Justice was finally served, Raj. It was Edward that set me up.

RAJ : Edward? Did the Dung Beetles help him?

LAZLO : No. He did it all himself. They just watched.

CLAM : Lazlo happy again!

In the office, Chip presents Edward to Shadow, JD and Slinkman.

SLINKMAN : So you planted explosives in Patsy's food, did ya?! Well, this calls for a search. Shadow, Tails, you two search the cabin. I'll notify Commander Hoo-Ha.

EDWARD : No! Don't search my cabin! You won't like what Chip's got under his bed!

Shadow and JD ignore Edward's immature pleas and goes to the Pinto cabin to search. They make a mess as they search the beds. Shadow searches the walls for any suspicious irregularities. JD and Slinkman search underneath Edward's bed.

JD : Oh, oh, oh.

He pulls out sticks of dynamite. About 8 pounds worth. They take the evidence back to the office for Slinkman's viewing judgement.

SLINKMAN : Commander Hoo-Ha? You won't believe what your replacements found under Edward's bed!

EDWARD : Damn it!

Chip still has Edward by his neckerchief. Meanwhile, Samson introduces Samantha to the Loons.

DAVE : So you like hot dogs, too? No way!

SAMANTHA : So where are you guys from?

PING-PONG : New Jersey. We were sent here because our parents thought we needed to be around others.

SAMANTHA : Very interesting. So has my brother been treating you guys all right?

PING-PONG : Sure, sure. He's our cabin leader.

SAMANTHA : Does he LEAD you two through any trouble?

SAMSON : Of course I don't, Sam. I'm not a troublemaker like Edward and the Dung Beetles are.

DAVE : Yeah. He hates Lazlo and tries whatever he can to hurt him.

SAMANTHA : OK.

Back at camp, Commander Hoo-Ha arrives. He gets out of his jeep. Shadow and JD salute.

HOO-HA : Good afternoon, gentlemen. Where is he?

Chip presents Edward. He smiles nervously.

HOO-HA : So you're the one who was playing with dynamite, eh?! Don't you know that dynamite is a dangerous weapon, Platypus?!!

EDWARD : Uh... um.... no?

HOO-HA : Don't you know that if one of these campers go injured, Scoutmaster Lumpus could be sued?! He's had enough pain for one day!! So for your reckless disregard for anyone's life, you're coming with me... to CAMP SKULL CRUSH!!!!

EDWARD : No! No! I don't want to go to Camp Skull Crush! I beg of you!!

Chip hands Edward to Hoo-Ha. He drags him by the tail. Edward's fingernails dig into the ground, leaving drag marks as he gets dragged away.

EDWARD : You'll pay for this, Lazlo!!

The other campers watch as Edward is taken away by Commander Hoo-Ha to Camp Skull Crush... wherever it is.

SKIP : Where's Edward going?

SLINKMAN : To Camp Skull Crush. He ignored the law by bringing those things in. I just hope they can find out how he got them.

Suddenly, another vehicle enters camp. The door opens. It's Scoutmaster Lumpus, good as new!!

LAZLO : Scoutmaster Lumpus! You're all right!

LUMPUS : Oh, yeah. Hi, everyone. I'm back.

Lumpus walks over to Shadow and JD.

LUMPUS : Who are these whacks?

SLINKMAN : They're the replacements you called in.

SHADOW : Hello, Algonquin.

JD : Good to see you're back.

Lumpus looks around. He notices that Edward isn't around.

LUMPUS : Where's the pollywog?

SLINKMAN : These two found dynamite under his bed.

LUMPUS : What?! Where is he?

SLINKMAN : Off to Camp Skull Crush, sir.

LUMPUS : Well, that's one camper I won't have to worry about.

Lumpus goes back to his office.

SHADOW : Well, since your Scoutmaster is OK, I guess JD and I better get going.

JD : Yeah.

LAZLO : Wait, guys! Don't go!

SHADOW : Why not? Lumpus is all right.

LAZLO : But you guys did such a good job. We all will miss you two.

JD : And we'll miss you guys, too.

Shadow and Tails walk to their car, get in and take off. The campers wave as they exit the camp. In the office...

LUMPUS : Did Miss Doe say anything about me?

SLINKMAN : She just offers her condolences, sir.

LUMPUS : Well, what are we going to tell the pollywog's parents?

SLINKMAN : Commander Hoo-Ha and the scoutmaster at Skull Crush will take care of it.

Later that day, Patsy and Lazlo enjoy a picnic on a hill, watching the sunset.

LAZLO : This sure is swell, Patsy.

PATSY : I know... and do you know what the best part is?

LAZLO : What?

PATSY : That there's nobody around to tell us we can't have this picnic.

The two sit on the blanket, hand in hand. They look at one another with hearts floating above their heads. She lays her head on his shoulder.

PATSY : This is the best day of my life.

LAZLO : Mine, too, Patsy.