El Goonish Shive (2014 manga)/Chapter 2
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[edit] Page 1
<Sunday, Janurary 20th, 2013>
{The Panel is below the above caption. It is a shot of Elliot's House at "Night"}
{Elliot and Ellen are Snug in Bed}
<5:16 am>
{Elliot and Ellen are Waken up by a Loud Noise. As the Above Caption looms below}
Voice: WAKE UP KIDS! WHAT ARE YOU TWO RUNNING FROM!
{Elliot is Rubbing His Eyes}
Elliot: Running from What?
Voice: NO YOU'RE NOT! YOU'RE RUNNING TO-
{It is coming from Mrs. Dunkel, Using a Megaphone}
Mrs. Dunkel: THE WORLD'S TOUGHEST COMPETITION IN TOWN! MOVE IT, MOVE IT! LET'S GO! GO! GO!
{Elliot and Ellen are Brushing their Teeth while being monitored by Mrs. Dunkel.}
Ellen: Any Reason why you want us to go through this morning shtick?
Mrs. Dunkel: NONE OF YOUR BUISNESS KIDS!
{Elliot and Ellen Share A Shower...While Being Monitored by Mrs. Dunkel!}
Elliot: I can get why you want us to take a shower, but at the exact same time!?!
Mrs. Dunkel: DONT QUESTION IT! JUST KEEP SCRUBBING!
{Elliot and Ellen are Eating a Breakfast Cereal <Cinnamon Toast Crunch x Reeses Puffs Cereal War> while being monitored by Mrs. Dunkel}
Ellen: You've got to be kidding me! Why would you force us through Training
Mrs. Dunkel: (Through Megaphone) BECAUSE....
{Mrs. Dunkel lowers her Megaphone}
Mrs. Dunkel: Because of that Backstabbing Susan!
Ellen: Ooh, Boy. Here We go again...
[edit] Page 2
{We see some flashbacks of Susan Tripping Mrs. Dunkel at Age 5, Susan winning a beauty Pagent against Mrs. Dunkel at Age 11, Susan Beating Mrs. Dunkel in Volleyball (By Hitting her on the Head with the titicular ball) at Age 18, et cetera.}
Mrs. Dunkel: Ever since Kingdergarden, She's Always been beating me at Everything!!!
{Mrs. Dunkel makes a Proud Looking Pose! A Chibified Ellen is in the Background}
Mrs. Dunkel: But since you're skilled at Martial Arts and her Nieces are competing!
Ellen: I understand this Susan Rivalry, Mom. But I think there's something up with them...
{Mrs. Dunkel and Ellen Talk in the Panel}
Mrs. Dunkel: Yeah, what is it Ellen?
Ellen: Do you find the clones a bit disorienting sometimes.
{Pics of the Many Susans and Nicoles running around in the series above Chibified Images of Mrs. Dunkel and Ellen}
Mrs. Dunkel: Normally we dont like to talk about their extended family in such ill form as this. But seeing as I want to crush her once and for all, I'm All Ears!
Ellen:
[edit] Novel Style Portrayal of the Rest of the Strip
At the destination, a man in his forties gathered his three daughters to discuss something important. He had shoulder length hair, a mustache, and wore a brown gi. His name was Soun Tendo, and he was the owner of the Tendo Dojo of Anything Goes Martial Arts.
Kasumi was the eldest, a gentle homemaker with long brown hair kept in a ponytail.
Nabiki was the middle sister, an extremely greedy young woman who ran several black markets in school as well as ran the school’s betting system. She had shoulder length brown hair.
The youngest was Akane, the only one training in the family art and a tomboy. She had long blue-ish black hair which she usually wore in a low ponytail. All three sisters had brown eyes.
Soun was telling them about Ranma, the son of his old training partner Genma Saotome. And one of them would enter an arranged marriage with him. While Kasumi and Nabiki seemed interested, Akane wasn't. She hated boys. Then again, who can blame her when she gets mobbed by a bunch of them every day because they wanted to date her?
That was when they heard someone yell “Put me down!” from down the hall.
“Oh, is that him?” asked Nabiki.
“Genma!” cried Soun in joy.
Both of them went to welcome their guests. In came the panda carrying the redhead.
“Daddy? Is that your friend?” asked Nabiki in a sarcastic tone.
Soun was in a state of panic, clearly not expecting him. “I have no idea what a panda is doing here.”
All that Kasumi could come up with was an “Oh my…” as the panda placed the girl on the floor.
“You wouldn’t be…,” said Soun.
“I’m Ranma Saotome…" said the redhead. "Sorry 'bout this.”
Before Soun could hug Ranma and call her son in law, the panda suddenly went flying into the air.
“My spine!” signed the panda as he crashed into the wall and collapsed.
Everyone sweat dropped… then looked at the rainbow haired girl who apparently made the panda fly; her leg was moving down from a kicking position. The girl smirked.
“Nice one, Ran,” said Ranma.
“No problem,” replied the rainbow haired girl. Apparently, Ran was her name. The two high-fived at Ran's handiwork.
“You two wouldn't happen to be sisters, would you?” asked Nabiki.
“No," replied Ran with a shrug. "I just happen to have a similar name.”
“Her name is based on the English word 'ran',” said Ranma.
“The one who gave me that name thought it would be a good pun.”
“You don't mean your parents, do you?”, inquired Akane. She was confused, and it showed.
“Never mind.”
“So…where are the others?” asked Ranma.
“Right here,” said the old woman as she seemingly appeared from nowhere.
This surprised the Tendos (save for Kasumi for some reason), although Ranma and Ran didn't react similarly.
“How did you do that?” Akane wanted to know.
“When you get as old as me, then you can pick up a few things.”
“Is everything all right?” asked the fuchsia haired girl…popping out from…somewhere…and scaring the Tendos again (and again with the exception of Kasumi).
“Is she your student?” Akane asked the old woman.
“No…” she replied. “I have no idea how she does that.”
“We all decided to stop questioning it a long time ago…” said Ran.
“By the way… Who are you?” Akane asked
Before any of the newcomers could answer, a voice came.
“Hello, is everyone here?” it said.
That was when the rest of their companions arrived.
“Sorry for entering like this.” apologized the indigo haired girl.
“Now what is going on here?” asked Soun.
“By the way, daddy…” Nabiki cut in.
“Yes?”
“Ranma is a girl.” Nabiki then poked one of Ranma’s breasts to prove her point.
“Please don’t do that,” said Ranma.
Soun fainted… maybe it was the panda, maybe it was the fact the boy he always waited for was a girl… either way he went down.
“Oh my,” said Kasumi.
“Is he all right?” asked the girl in the yellow sweater.
“He’s just being overly dramatic.” assured Nabiki.
“I am in a lot of pain, please someone help me,” signed the panda as he lay on the wall he was kicked into.
Sometime later… Soun had regained consciousness, but he wasn't moving as he broke down to tears.
“Some fiancé this turned out to be,” snarked Nabiki as she poking Ranma’s breast once again. “How can we marry her…”
“He told me he had a son,” lamented Soun.
The indigo haired girl was about to say something when the old woman silenced her with a shake of the head.
“Now's not the time,” she whispered.
The indigo haired girl nodded, knowing that someone else would have to explain everything.
Just then, Kasumi came into the room with tea for everyone. “So you are Ranma’s friends?” she asked.
“You could say that,” replied the first purple haired girl.
“We should introduce ourselves,” suggested the old woman. “My name's Cologne. I’m an elder of a village in China and this my great, great, granddaughter Shampoo.” “Japanese no good.” sighed Shampoo.
<Cologne: > <Shampoo: >
“The rest of us are just traveling with Ranma until we can find our way back home,” explained the indigo haired girl, “We’re also helping hi...er, her... with a problem.”
“It’s a really, really, really super long story,” said the fuchsia haired girl so as to stop any questions.
“If someone only read the book correctly…” muttered Ran.
“I did read it correctly!", retorted the indigo haired girl. "I just put too much power into it!”
“Please stop fighting,” whispered the girl in the yellow sweater. Ran quickly walked up to the indigo-haired girl, not happy at all.
“Yeah, everything’s over and done with,” said Ranma as she broke up what might've become a heated argument. “Besides it’s already been a month.”
“Fine…” muttered Ran as she turned away.
“You should introduce yourselves, girls,” suggested Cologne as she took a sip of tea.
The six girls took the hint.
“I guess I should reintroduce myself,” said Ran. “Ran Issanni.”
<Ran Issanni: >
Kasumi giggled, then said, “Sorry. It’s just that you told us your parents named you Ran based on the English word… Which means you have the need for speed.” Most everyone of the room sat in silence at the incredibly bad joke. In the distance, a cricket chirped.
“I made the same joke when I first heard it!" said the fuchsia haired girl. "Oh, I’m Momo Mochi!”
<Momo Mochi: >
“My… my name is Chiyo Onbin,” the girl in the yellow sweater whispered, although it was loud enough for the family to hear.
<Chiyo Onbin: >
Momo then turned her head to the piglet Chiyo was holding. “Oh, the piggy’s name is Ryoga,” she then said. The pig oinked a hello.
“I am Belle Perle,” said the second purple haired girl, the one who was very stylish.
“You’re from France?” asked Nabiki.
“Um… yes…” Belle looked like she was lying as she said that.
<Belle Perle: >
“You’re from America, right?” Akane asked the blonde girl.
“Um...yes,” she replied nervously. “Amity Jaquine Smith.”
<A.J. Smith: >
“And I’m Hikaru Hakumei,” introduced the indigo haired girl.
<Hikaru Hakumei: >
And you’re all going to be staying here?” inquired Nabiki.
“If you don’t mind,” said Cologne.
“Why?!” cried Soun.
“You know… I'm not sure if we can afford all of you,” said Nabiki.
“Once we get settled in, you don’t have to worry, darling,” assured Belle.
“Really, how?”
Belle pointed to her dress, which was very beautiful, white, and had a mark depicting three blue diamonds on it. “I made this myself,” she explained.
Nabiki blinked as she admired the dress. “Really? That’s impressive.” Already, she was thinking of buying something similar.
“So…” Akane spoke up looking at Ranma, “I guess you and Ran study martial arts.”
“Yeah,” Ran answered for her.
"I hear you're fighting me in the first round" said Akane
"of Course" Exclaimed Shampoo, Turning around Dramatically and cracking her knuckles.
“Oh, okay.” For some reason, Akane was getting a strange feeling from the Chinese girl.
“Um… can you tell me a place where I can have some privacy?” Hikaru asked the Tendos.
“Sure,” offered Kasumi as she then led Hikaru out of the room.
Meanwhile, Akane pointed most of their visitors to the Dojo so she could get ready.
“Why, a daughter?!” Soun continued to cry.
“What a drama queen,” sighed Belle, earning her a look from Alex, Ran, Momo, Chiyo, and Ryoga, the latter of which oinked in disapproval.
Hypocrite, the other four thought.
In the dojo, the visitors waited for Akane to change into her gi.
“Are you ready?” the youngest of the Tendos asked, who then noticed Ranma, Ran, Alex, and Momo watching. For some reason, Momo had a box with red and white stripes holding popcorn....
“Where did she get the popcorn?” she thought out loud.
Ranma, Alex, and Ran shrugged. It was best not to know.
She shook her head and paid attention to Shampoo. And the spar began.
Akane yelled "Take this!" She charged towards Shampoo with a punch; Shampoo just deflected it, and hits her with a back kick, taunting, "You too slow!" Akane fumed, and simply goes berserk; Shampoo simply dodged, blocks, or deflected every move. Akane eventually fell down on one knee, panting. She then screamed, "DARN IT!" Going for a roundhouse kick, Shampoo simply leaped over her, and kicked her hard in the back, knocking Akane into the Drink. (Production Note: It must Take up two pages)
"Shampoo win." Said Shampoo.
Vic Romano: And into the Mystery Drink she Goes
Kenny Blankenship: Which I might Add is Nickelodeon Slime, Either Way, Pitting two members of the Tendo School of Anything Goes Martial Arts really seems to reel in the Ratings...
Vic Romano: That it Does, Ken, That it Does. We join Amanda as Akane Gets out of our big ol' Slime Bucket
Amanda: Well, How about I let you talk for a While (She tilts the Mic Back and forth between the two as they talk)
Akane: (Smiling) “This is the first time I lost.”
Shampoo: “You mad?”
Akane: “No. I’m just happy you weren’t a boy.”
Shampoo: “Then you lucky you no fight Ranma.”
Akane: “What?”
Shampoo: “Nothing.”
Meanwhile, in another room… Hikaru sat alone, her hands glowing with a purple aura. Floating in-between them was a vial of water. Her eyes were closed as she concentrated on the vial.
Vic Romano: (on the TV Screen) We've Captured some discriminating footage in our hidden camera locker room that explains why we are officially delaying the battle between Ran Issanni and Ranma Saotome. We'd Show you the footage, but it'd be risky for us to explain to the audience so...
Just then, the door to the room opened. Hikaru lost her concentration and dropped the vial, but she caught it before it could fall to the floor.
“Isn’t that vial supposed to unbreakable?”, asked the person who opened the door.
That person was a middle-aged man in a white gi, he wore glasses and a bald cap.
“Yes, but you still broke my concentration,” replied Hikaru.
“I’m going to explain about myself and Ranma. But I’m leaving it up to you and your friends to explain your thing.”
“I understand.” Hikaru sighed.
“By the way, why are you still a human? Isn’t your magic stronger as…THAT?”
Hikaru glared at the man. “I found it easier to analyze the water in my cursed form, even if my magic is weaker.”
“I see. But remember the deal; you cure us and we provide you with a place to stay.”
“I know, I know. You don’t have to remind me.” Hikaru let out another sigh.
“I’m going to explain it to Soun.” With that, he slammed the door behind him.
As the man left, Hikaru sighed. I'm having second thoughts on helping that jerk... Ranma, though... At least Ranma was a friend.
Upstairs, Kasumi led Chiyo to the bathroom.
“Thank you for letting us…I mean me take a bath.”, Chiyo said as she avoided Kasumi’s gaze.
Kasumi smiled at the shy girl, “It’s no problem at all.” She then went downstairs to the kitchen to prepare dinner as she was expecting a lot of people.
“By the way, besides Ranma and Shampoo, the other girls are vegetarians,” Cologne notified her, appearing out of nowhere once again. “Really? Why?”
“You’ll see.” Cologne then gave a mysterious smile. “Oh, and I would expect one more guest. One who doesn’t eat pork.”
Kasumi blinked, unsure what Cologne meant.
In the Collesium, Tedd is dealing with problems of his own, he was fighting An Otaku Themed Martial Artist who trained under Soun Tendo for a month to enter the Tourament, He Blocked as much as the Attacks as possible, and it's made clear that he is failing miserably. Akane is watching the Match in the audience as she looked to Momo, who was now eating out of a bag of cookies. “Where did you get those?”
Momo shrugged, “I don’t know.”
“It’s best you don’t know.”, said Alex as she also watched the spar. “I’ve known her for years and I don’t know where she gets her snacks… or those other things about her…”
Akane sweat dropped, not wanting to know what that meant.
“So, I take it you hope to aspire to be as skilled as those two,” said Cologne, who suddenly appeared next to her. Akane jumped when she saw the old woman. “If you want to, I can train you… but only if you accept.”
“Accept what?” asked Akane.
“You’ll see.” Cologne gave another mysterious smile.
Shampoo looked at Akane, then at Ranma. Things were about to get very interesting.
Elsewhere, at a local Radioshack, a Mysterious Figure is Watching. <Since you're the Artist, it is Grace.>
Mysterious Figure: (in thought) Could It Be? Could...Could this "Tedd" Help Me?
During the Final Match before Ran and Ranma's Battle, Akane went into the kitchen area of the locker room, where Kasumi was preparing the food. “Kasumi, is the bath ready?” asked Akane.
“Chiyo is using it,” said Kasumi.
“Do you think she’ll mind?”
The girl was very shy, and she barely said anything, Kasumi thought, unsure. “I don’t know…” she responded.
“Maybe this will allow her to open up more.”
Kasumi sighed and—in the end—didn't stop her youngest sister as she decided to go upstairs to join Chiyo in the bath.
In the bathroom… there was a naked teenaged boy and a yellow Pegasus that was 4 feet tall. She had a marking on her flank depicting three pink butterflies. Neither was looking at each other and both were blushing.
“You can look at me if you want,” said the Pegasus, “There’s nothing to be embarrassed about.”
“I know,” responded the teenage boy who was wearing the bandana the pig was wearing (though on his head instead of his neck), “But… it’s just that…”
That was when the door opened and in walked a naked Akane. She stared at the odd sight, blinking her eyes. She then closed the door… just as the boy got a nosebleed that shot out like a geyser.
“Oh no… oh no… what am I going to do?” cried the Pegasus.
Meanwhile, Akane put the top of her gi, left the bathroom area, walked down the stairs…then finally screamed. Almost everyone in the Locker Room came to see what was wrong with her.
“Akane, what’s wrong?” Kasumi asked.
“There’s a naked man and a horse with wings in the bathroom!” she cried out.
“He’s naked?” gasped Momo, “That must mean he'll need his clothes!”
And with that, Momo ran up the stairs. Akane looked at Momo and decided it would be best to ignore her. If she wanted to clothe a strange horse obsessed psychopath, it’s her own fault.
“Are you sure you weren’t seeing things?” Kasumi asked.
“Maybe there’s a gas leak,” said Nabiki.
“I swear it! I saw a yellow horse with wings!” insisted Akane, “And a naked man!”
“The term is Pegasus,” corrected Ran, seemingly defensive about it.
“I don’t care what the term is! There’s something strange going on in the bathroom.”
"Well, I guess you'll need the tape that had to be pulled by the United States Government." Explained Vic Romano as he and his Cohort Kenny Blankenship entered the Room. The Strange Man Quaked with fear as the Spike TV Personality put the tape in the slot. The Tape showed him with a copper kettle, eying Ran as if he wanted revenge for something. Something that involved a flying kick to the spine.
“You don’t think he’s angry about what happened earlier?”, asked Alex.
The man threw that kettle at Ran and took the hidden cameraman to where she stood as he said: "For Visual Proof." Much like the Pegasus that was in the bathroom, there stood another, who was now in Ran’s clothes. However, this one was sky blue and had a rainbow mane.
“That’s it!”, yelled the Pegasus, who took off and tackled the man. As the two fought, only the Tendos watched in surprise; everyone else acted like it was nothing.
“Rainbow Dash! Please take off your clothes!”, scolded the On Screen Belle. “I don’t want you to ruin my hard work!”
Cologne sighed and said, "The Things you'd be willing to broadcast...I guess the Rest of you have to bathe in hot water now because I think we’re going to need a lot to explain all this.”
“Of course,” agreed Alex.
“Fine…” muttered Hikaru.
And On Screen is the Battle between Ran and a young boy around Akane's Age, They engage in a four page battle and to say those two were on a different level as her would be a complete and utter understatement. She could barely see Ran’s movements, almost a blur. Meanwhile, Ranma is using any advantage he can get to counter Ran's pure speed. The Match ends when the boy catches Ran off gaurd, using her speed to knock her into the plastic wall, which sends her into the Drink.
Guy LeDoushe: And Mr. Ranma Saotome shall move on to the next Round!
Akane then fainted on the spot. That was when the Pegasus from the bathroom along with the boy (now with tissues in his nose) and another, well…for lack of a better term…pony came down the stairs.
“Well it seems like everyone found out,” said the new pony. Her coat was cotton candy pink, her hair was hot pink and poofy, and she had a marking on her flank depicting three balloons.
Soun did what he usually did: cry. Sure, he could handle what Genma had told him about the curses, but he still had no idea what the two from China and these girls…were… And indeed, the seemingly normal lives of the Tendo Family ended that day.
End Chapter Two
