Episode 1: Channel Chasers
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PERI [OC]: The tide's out.
DOCTOR [OC]: Hmm?
PERI [OC]: When you said sand, I thought maybe I could take a dip.
DOCTOR [OC]: You're a little late, Peri. It's about a billion years since there was any sea on Androzani Minor.
PERI [OC]: You're such a pain, Doctor.
DOCTOR: Come on. Well, well, well. The old place hasn't changed at all. Still nothing but sand.
PERI: Oh, wow! This place, Doctor, it's just unbelievable! Doctor, look!
DOCTOR: What?
PERI: Glass.
DOCTOR: Almost, anyway. It's fused silica. And I'm not a pain. Here's some more. Now, why would anyone come here?
PERI: Who said they have?
DOCTOR: These patches were fused by the rocket pads of a spacecraft. Too small for interstellar travel, so it obviously came from the twin planet of Androzani Major. The interesting question is, why?
PERI: Maybe someone wanted some sand to make some glass so they could blow a new vacuum tube for their reticular vector gauge.
DOCTOR: Hmm. Sarcasm is not your strong point, Peri. If I were you I'd stick. Ah-ha! What have we here?
PERI: Ah-ha? I'm looking. Why am I looking?
DOCTOR: A monoskid. You can see the deep furrow where it left the ship then the shallower one when it returned.
PERI: Or vice versa.
DOCTOR: No, no, no. You can see where the light track sometimes crosses the heavy one. So, someone came here with a heavily laden monoskid, unloaded it somewhere and then returned to the ship.
PERI: So you got a merit badge in tracking when you were a boy scout. I'm suitably impressed. Can we go now?
DOCTOR: Er, one moment. Looks as if the tracks lead to those caves over there.
PERI: Is this wise, I ask myself? Oh well.
(They follow the tracks some way.)
DOCTOR: Ah, blow holes.
PERI: What?
DOCTOR: Now we're near you can see they're not caves, they're blow holes.
PERI: Well, same difference.
DOCTOR: Not to a speleologist. And not if you're stuck in one of those things at high tide.
PERI: High tide? I thought you said that
DOCTOR: It's a figure of speech. You see, the core of this planet is superheated primeval mud. When its orbit takes it close to Androzani Major, the gravitational pull
PERI: Oh, I get the picture. Mud baths for everyone. Well, it's a change from lava.
DOCTOR: Hmm. Presumably why the planet was never colonised. Androzani Major was becoming quite developed the last time I passed this way.
PERI: When was that?
DOCTOR: I don't remember. I'm pretty sure it wasn't the future.
PERI: You're a very confusing person to be with, Doctor, you know that?
DOCTOR: I tried keeping a diary once. Not chronological, of course, but the trouble with time travel is one never seems to find the time.
Two who should never meet
(River Song is Drinking wine as Blue sits next to her.)
