Of the odd commodities and lame jokes
From The Pardusian Chronicles
50 Tons of Toilet Paper -- Originally written by a relative to me who suicided.
The other day I got this humanitarian aide mission from the empire headquarters on Keldon to take a shipment of 50 tons of toilet paper to the sol system (in Federation space as a token of good will). Naturally being the good citizen I am I took on the load. This was probably the most humiliating mistake of my career. Not only did the shipping agency in the sol have a loud mouth communication officer; he could not help but continuously send me message containing toilet humor over a open communication frequency... Not only was I the laughing stock of some of the alliance between here and there. They hopped on the frequency and helped with the making fun of me also. At least some of the military outpost commander were nice enough to let me pass without the usually fees (However, I usually don’t like receiving anything because of another pity for me.) Anyways, a little over halfway there the communication officer starts asking for order of booze, so I get like twenty ships wanting to trade booze with my ship, since I was on the way there (at the same time there asking whether the load I was carrying was squeezable soft). After loading, up on booze, the drinking songs start coming over the comm. array. I decided that it was time to try to remove my radio and I discovered sometime while I was on Keldon, someone hardwired my communication radio into the navigation control so any attempt to take it off-line would send me spinning out of control. By the time I got to the Sol I figured out was going on... and it seems some Empire diplomat got in heated debate with another Federation diplomat and the Federation diplomat thought the Empire had no sense of humor. So it seems the Empire set this mission up to prove to the Federation they have a sense of humor (At my expense). The Morale of the story is: When on a long Journey for you faction always remember to bring a set of good ear plugs so you can act deaf.
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