Zuck
From The Extended Group
Contents |
The Discovery
The girl known across the land of the UW as "Zuck" or sometimes as "Duck" first entered the lives of the Extended Group when Jamie, on one of his quests to find a cute "halfy", stumbled upon the beauty's xanga. She was a part of a group called "Half Asians" and also affiliated with "University of Washington c/o 2007". Andy was quickly informed of her looks and her cute interests, such as "babies" and "farting", leading him to quickly fall for the damsel as well. Neither Andy or Jamie had ever met her, but in that single moment she captured the hearts of Jamie and Andy.
The First Sightings
When the school year began, Jamie and Andy only had a name and a face to attach their love to. They had never seen her before and their only link to her was through a friend, the most loyal Calvin, who had apparently befriended Zuck's roomie. Their love was doomed. However, despite the complete unlikelyhood of running into the fabled beauty, Jamie and Andy began to see her around the dorms and campus with increasing frequency. These sightings were seen as true blessings to her followers and were looked back upon often. How often one saw her soon became a sort of bragging rights among those in the "UW Crew".
The Sightings Increase...
Eventually sightings of Zuck became so common that interest in her began to wane. Her iconical looks started to become stale and her voice was discovered to be startlingly low. Jamie claimed the latter to be a more attractive feature, but this is often doubted among historians. Her legend began to fade.
Her voice clearly did not match her face nor mannerisms that were observed. You wouldn't expect someone who lists, "babies and colors" to have a lower voice than your own. Despite this, she was still a sight to see, though it's true that further sightings did make her lose her appeal. Eventually, she was replaced with a new crop of freshmen during the 2005-2006 school year at UW.
The Mission
By the time spring quarter came around, loyalty among her followers fell to an all-time low. Historians link this phenomenon to the fact that she had stopped being a novelty, or sad reality that none of her follwoers had yet to even befriend her. At this point her followers were facing a period of persecution from outsiders or from those who had lost their faith. However, her followers were not yet defeated. On one legendary staurday night, when there was suppsoedly "nothing to do", the group hatched a devious plan and executed under the cover of being freshmen. The plan was to revive the beauty's following by actually meeting her. It was a bold plan and held many risks, for it was thought that if any of her followers looked her in the eye, he will be unable to say anything at all. Nevertheless, the mission was still on. At approxiamtely 9pm the extremists, spearheaded by founding members Andy and Jamie, infiltrated the Lander dorms (her place of residence according to legend) with no trouble at all. Minor obstacles were faced when it was found her floor's hall was filled with people, but this did not penetrate the member's resolve. They would meet her at all costs. As the fellowship approached the girl's room tensions ran high and talk of turning back grew with every step, but Jamie quieted dissension quickly for he knew something they did not. Jamie was going to betray them.
The Betrayal
When the members of the taskforce finally found themselves gathered around her slightly ajar door, Jamie sprung his trap. Instead of knocking on the door and introducing themselves as planned, co-founder Jamie violently kicked open the sacred door and quickly ran through a stairwell door laughing maniacally. He had hung his fellow members up to dry. Startled by Jamie's sudden betrayal and left frozen with gaping mouths, group members Hieu, Calvin, and Andy scrambled. Hieu, the most level headed member of the fellowship, calmly walked away from the foor towards the elevators. His plan to act like he was just passing by when the door was kicked open, proved to be the most effective. He escaped safely. Andy and Calvin were unfortuantely not as calm. Witnesses of the incident claim that Calvin and Andy sprinted away from the door down the long hallway towards the elevator. This made no sense becuase they could have gone down the stairs the devious Jamie had jsut fled down, but the duo panicked and went the opposite direction. When Calvin and Andy reached the elevator, Andy being the most wise between the two at the point, flung open the door to another stairwell and began sprinting down the stairs. No one would catch him, and he reached the safety of the lobby soon after Hieu and the now despised Jamie. Calvin however, chose to make his escape down the elevator and selaed his fate with that choice. As soon as the doors were about to finish closing, a group of people entered the car and began to question Calvin furiously. It is not known what exactly happened once they trapped him, but historians think Calvin may or may not have blamed it all on Andy (whom none of the inquisitors knew). Finally, when Calvin reached the lobby and all members of the mission were accounted for, the fellowship retreated acorss the 1101 bridge and held up inside Andy's dorm for the rest of the night. Jamie betrayal is still widely remembered to this day.
Jamie is still laughing to this day of the betrayal and holds no regrets whatsoever.
The First Contact
Recently, months after the night of Jamie's betrayal, former followers of Zuck have actually met the beauty. Sources say Jamie is now her facebook friend and Calvin is her friend in actual life but these reports are unconfirmed. In addition, group members Hieu and Andy have claimed that they have actually introduced themselves and shook her porcelin hand. It is not known exactly how and why Hieu and Andy met her, but speculation has been made that she is a vampire after it was discovered that blood was drawn from their arms during the encounter.
The Future
Currently, the girl known as Zuck is in a relationship and the fellowship who once praised her beauty have now disbanded and have ventured on their own pursuits. Sources say she lives somewhere off campus, but no one really cares anymore.
